I don't like my son. - Page 2

[frogautumn]

I didn't read all of the replies, but just wanted to say that I can totally relate. Our DS1s are both 3/07 babies and our DS2s are just a few months apart. I'm finding 3yo to be a very exhausting age...the drama, the negotiating, the mood swings, the questions, the whining...it can be very draining.

I have a theory about this...there are going to be times when we're not supposed to like our children, when it's not supposed to be easy. It allows us to move away from each other, for us as parents to let go little by little and allow our children to become more of themselves.

That's my positive spin on this trying time! That's what I keep telling myself anyway

[xelakann]

Originally Posted by frogautumn

I didn't read all of the replies, but just wanted to say that I can totally relate. Our DS1s are both 3/07 babies and our DS2s are just a few months apart. I'm finding 3yo to be a very exhausting age...the drama, the negotiating, the mood swings, the questions, the whining...it can be very draining.

I have a theory about this...there are going to be times when we're not supposed to like our children, when it's not supposed to be easy. It allows us to move away from each other, for us as parents to let go little by little and allow our children to become more of themselves.

That's my positive spin on this trying time! That's what I keep telling myself anyway

Thank you for saying this. I like this positive spin. My son is 2.5 and has been quite a handful. There are days when I don't like him and just need space... lots of challenges, and I feel guilty feeling those feelings.

[Punchy Kaby]

My now 4.5 yo went through a phase like this around age 3. He needed more mental and physical challenges. He is not in preschool yet, but we introduced several learning activities at home and we started him at tae kwon do and swimming lessons. He also needs time with other kids and away from parents-probably feeling the need to develope his own socializing skills without me watching over him.

Ds can still be cantankerous and it is usually due to boredom.

[BarnMomma]

I just thought of something else I wanted to suggest to you OP- can you try going TV/Movie Free for a while?

We recently eliminated all TV(technically movies, we've always been live TV free) and the change in my DS's behavior is amazing. The fussiness is less, the ease of him going to sleep and winding down for naps is amazing, and his willingness to sit and play and entertain himself all of a sudden is incredible. It was a very easy transition too. A few days of begging and fussing then he seemed to forget all about it. We filled the movie slots with book reading. We read about 10-15 books daily now.

Also, I agree with what another poster said about limited toys. We got rid of a lot of junk toys that had accumulated and now we only have a train set, a building set, lincholn logs, blocks, books, and balls in the play area.

[taramoon13]

one more thing i wanted to say is give yourself breaks from each other. i'm a SAHM & was reluctant to give up time with ds, even though he was going to grandpa's which he loves & it was only 1 day a week for 4-5 hrs. so i could work on stuff. i felt completely refreshed after the first day & when i went to pick him up any guilt i had disappeared as he could've cared less that i was there he was so busy helping grandpa dig a hole! i don't know your circumstances, but just finding someone you know loves your lo as much as you to give you a break makes a HUGE difference for both of you. i can feel sometimes ds & i almost smothering each other.

[BeanyMama]

I have to agree with the pp who said this doesn't sound normal. Whining at 3 is completely expected, but if you're at the point where you don't want to be around him and use the TV as an escape frequently, I'd look for help outside of yourself. Posting here is a good step; if there's a counselor near-by, maybe at the preschool he's going to attend, it could be beneficial to talk to him/her.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

I havent read all the replies and I dont remember seeing if you said how long this has been going on. (Sometimes when my kids are like this for a week, it feels like a year!) All I can think of is ride it out a little while longer, and he might surprise you. Even at 3, kids are going through so many developmental changes. SOme are more sensative to them, and react just the way your describing. I know my kids turn on a DIME when they get through one. And my kids are INTENSE.

Hang in there mama.

[GuildJenn]

There's a reason the top parenting tool for 3 yr olds in Your Three Year Old ( http://www.amazon.com/Your-Three-Yea.../dp/0440506492 ) is "as many hours of babysitting as you can afford."

That said I do think the love tank idea is an important one. Hard, but important. Another thing to look at would be sleep (is he getting enough).

[MamaMom]

I hear you!- My DD can drive me crazy

We have regular "meetings" as I call them and they have helped when we discuss the loss of priveleges. Time away from each other is a good thing for both of you; too much of anyone can get on each others nerves. A good preschool- two days- couple hours is a great opportunity for kids to learn from others/situations and give you a much needed break. Sometimes those 5 hours are not enough for me.

[4 Butterflies]

Originally Posted by BeanyMama

I have to agree with the pp who said this doesn't sound normal. Whining at 3 is completely expected, but if you're at the point where you don't want to be around him and use the TV as an escape frequently, I'd look for help outside of yourself. Posting here is a good step; if there's a counselor near-by, maybe at the preschool he's going to attend, it could be beneficial to talk to him/her.

I can't say I've been there but I am thinking he's tired of the same ol stuff and needs a challenge. He may very well be bored (same playgroup, same walks, same paints, same playdough etc). There are some free websites that are geared toward preschool age (see below) that may peak his interest. I will say this and I'm not trying to be mean but honest.... pawning him off onto a preschool isn't going to help anything at all. It may actually make it worse. I think he's acting like this for a reason. Hang in there mama! You will make it through.

http://abcteach.com/
http://www.starfall.com/
http://www.kidzone.ws/prek_wrksht/index.htm
http://www.softschools.com/grades/prek.jsp

[Abraisme]

Originally Posted by wife&mommy

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. It sounds like he is being a normal 3 year old, though. That age was definitely the hardest for us so far (my DS is almost 5, but 3 was awful!). I am dreading DD being 3. Literally on my DS's 3rd birthday it was like a light switch! By the time he was almost 4, he was back to my sweet little guy.

HUGS, hang in there. It DOES get better.

Three was also a really tough age for my DS. Not that this is what you want to hear, but things got a lot easier when he was 4.5 or so. I stayed as consistent as I could with our rules and FINALLY they sunk in! Be positive and remember that it will pass and he's learning from your reactions.