WHen baby is screaming and you're going to lose it...update # 44 - Page 3

[j_p_i]

s mama

You've gotten some great suggestions, I agree with the pp's about walking away if you need too. Sometimes for me all it took was putting her down for just a minute while I went in the bathroom, went pee and took a couple deep breaths. Something that almost ALWAYS worked when DD was like this was just stepping outside. For some reason she always stopped crying. She's nearly a year old and still being outdoors has a great calming effect on her.

In the evenings a rocking chair or glider and singing worked. Especially if I was exhausted from walking around and bouncing her. She would still cry a bit, but would eventually fall asleep, and it usually didn't take as long as I'd anticipated.

[Ceinwen]

I remember standing on the back deck screaming and crying on the phone (with my mom) one evening, while my two month old extremely colicky baby cried (safely) in her crib.

My mom told me to wait outside on the deck until she got there (she lived about ten minutes away) - I look back at how close I was to the edge and it scares me.

Hope you got some quiet time mama.

[sunshadow]

My daughter was very fussy. With her she was happy to just be nursed and nursed and that's what I did. Yes, it hurt at times. With my boy he is mellow and the only really rough times have been after I ate some cheese and he was so gassy. I did tummy rubs and got some colic tabs and he was better after a day or so. Sometimes when he gets upset he wants to be put down. After my daughter that took some time to get use to so I would be trying to figure out what he wanted and finally would come upon swaddle and walk away and he would go right to sleep.

[Ellien C]

Thanks everyone. I'm doing much better.

I bought the book Happiest Baby on the Block and OMG - it's been so helpful.
I'd been to this book for several reasons:
1) I hate the title. SOunds like some modern competitive parenting thing.
2) It sounded like it would teach me to use my baby equipment - swing, bouncy seat, etc to plug my kid in.
3) I thought I knew everything already. This is my second and my other child is 7 - and I've been here.
4) The Baby Whisperer book was really IN when I had my first and I think it steered me wrong. One - she doesn't make the distinction between a new born and a 4 month old. She's like - if you're going to start a pattern - why wait until later? A lot of the stuff she suggested just didn't work. So I didn't want another fad book written by an MD.

I COULD not have been more wrong. Karp is a huge advocate of the 4th trimester concept, BUT he understands that we don't have the village we used to. He does teach you to use SOME equipment, but only to replace the aunty or granny you might have had. I had all the pieces - swaddle, swing, suck... but he really put them together for me and added side and shush. Really, it's been quite helpful.

I also need to make the phone call I've been avoiding and call a counselor so I have someone to talk to. It's been very rough with hubs and I and I'm carrying a lot of anger.

I did put the baby down a few times and walked away to post here. I was just OUT of my MIND with the screaming. Thanks for your support.

[mommajb]

that is a great book - Some feel it is not completely BF friendly but I think most of the complaints come in Happiest Toddler. I am glad it helped and that you are feeling better.