Would you co-sleep with an Obese person in the bed? - Page 2

[akind1]

my weight, nor DH's, was a factor in our decision to co sleep. did not even cross my mind.

and we both fall into the category of "morbidly" obese. FWIW I don't consider BMI by itself to be an accurate indication of health.

[Viola]

Originally Posted by Inquiringmind

I guess I didn't specify this in the poll, but I'm really asking about people who are morbidly obese, so a BMI of 40+ or at least 100 pounds overweight.

My husband and I are both in this category, and we co-slept with our children.

My husband is a light sleeper who ends up scrunched up all the way on the edge of the bed, because he hates people touching him while he sleeps. And in the early months, there is that whole mother baby connection thing where you always seem to know where your baby is. I remember it surprised me with my firstborn. I brought her into the bed when she was a couple of days old, but I'd wrap her up and put her high up on the bed, and then I'd scrunch over to the edge with my pillow mostly hanging off the bed so she wouldn't come in contact with it. But then even as a newborn she'd manage to unswaddle herself and move to me and plant her face in my side, trying to breastfeed. It's kind of amazing how mobile they are.

Anyway, I'd go with James McKenna's suggestion and only co-sleep if I was breastfeeding. Because my husband is a light sleeper who doesn't move much while asleep, I didn't feel like it was a risk, but he felt much less comfortable, like he could never really relax because he was worried about being a risk. At least until the babies were toddlers and then would kick the heck out of us, then he was unrelaxed for other reasons.

When I was younger, though, I was much more mobile in bed. Now I tend to fall asleep in one position and stay there, or else I wake up and switch positions. Maybe age is a factor as well.

[Magali]

I would have to lose about 55 pounds to not be considered obese by the BMI. I co sleep and love it. I don't think that would change if I was another 50 pounds heavier. Heck, my post pg weight was around 100 pounds overweight according to the BMI and I was comfortable co sleeping. I say if it feels good do it, and screw the BMI.

[Viola]

Originally Posted by Inquiringmind

I keep seeing obesity in the same category as drinking alcohol and it really makes me wonder if the the two are comparable. If it's really sleep apnea that's the problem, why don't they just say so?

Because that wouldn't sufficiently demonize being a fat person well enough. And if we don't demonize it, people think it's OK and then our childhood obesity rates will continue to skyrocket--at least this has been a theme in some articles I've read in the last few years.

There is an organization called the Healthy Weight Commitment Foundation that has partnered with the Michelle Obama's Partnership for a Healthier America. The Healthy Weight Commitment Foundtion is made up of many different food & beverage manufacturers, and food retailers--groups like ConAgra, Pepsi, Kraft, Nestle, Coke. It's about making nutritional labels clear so people understand how many calories are in a serving, teaching people how to read these labels so they won't consume too many calories, and teaching them about energy balance. But the organization is not about being healthy and making healthy choices, it's about being at a "healthy weight" although they don't list healthy weight ranges and show no research to back up what the current BMI charts. They don't talk about the likelihood that someone will lose weight and keep it off just by following their ideas.

And they don't really promote healthy food consumption, as I see it, at least not yet. They have not mentioned taking out things like HFCS, PHOs, growth hormones, pesticides, artificial colorings and flavorings from foods, although maybe part of label reading is to understand what these are. They don't promote whole foods that you grow yourself. Both exercise and calorie restriction can have benefits on health or longevity irrespective of weight loss, but this organization seems to look at weight loss as the goal, and the other things as something that can aid in the ultimate goal--weight loss.

It's nigh impossible to look at something that correlates with fat and not just
blame the fat person. Kind of like we do with other things that negatively correspond to other dividing lines between humans. It benefits companies like Kraft if they can just blame fat people for clearly not reading labels and not understanding the concept of energy balance. And it's the same thing with anything related to being fat.

[mistymama]

I was about 75 pounds overweight and co-slept with ds .. I was very aware of my body and ds, and never thought twice about sleeping with him.

I had gastric bypass after his birth and am no longer overweight - but my dh is. He's a big guy and sleeps very heavily, thrashes and twists around. I am worried about him with the new baby because of his sleeping habbits, not his weight. So I'm buying a mini co-sleeper and probably going to keep the baby over on my side of the bed.

[jeminijad]

If it matters when considering my opinion, I am at the top end of overweight, close to obese. My DH is of normal weight.

I would not cosleep with someone super morbidly obese- 400lbs+, something like that. Say all you want about demonizing fat people, or 'BMI is not an accurate reflection of healthy,' but the human body was not meant to carry that much weight, and I am not interested in determining if body awareness, or baby awareness, is one of the processes damaged by it.

Overweight, or obese, sure I would, if they were me or my spouse.

Morbidly obese is tough. Maybe, maybe not.

[akind1]

well, no, not 400+ lbs. My thing about BMI and health is that it only measures 2 things: height and weight. It does not take into consideration muscle mass, fat %, bone structure, or boobs! (as a bf'ing well endowed mama, boobs are at least 10 lbs of my weight, if not more). According to the BMI charts, someone my height - 4'11" - should be between 95 and 120 lbs. anything above that is overweight. Obese is around 140 I think, and morbidly obese I forget where the marker is, but I am over it at 222 lbs. Frankly I would be really super healthy at 130-140 lbs, and that would still be well overweight/borderline obese according to the charts. Even though at that weight I think I would be like a size 6/8 (haven't been since . . .well, a really long time). I think a "healthy" weight is not something you can really measure just with height and weight. I can do things physically my "skinny" friends can't, and vice versa.

I also am not saying I am at a healthy weight. but I am getting there. I am fortunate to not have many of the co-morbid problems that come with being overweight, nor does DH. no high blood pressure, diabetes, sleep apnea, etc.

Got way off topic! but to circle back around, I think it has far more to do with sleep habits than with weight. If I were still (I used to be) a thrasher and wriggler in my sleep, co-sleeping might not be such a great option. I started behaving myself when I started sharing a bed with DH.

[lonegirl]

I would be considered obese and have co slept since night 2 in the hospital (at the nurses request lol). That said...I chose other because other factors also need to be taken into consideration.