Have to leave my 2-year-old avid nurser/co-sleeper for 3 nights--advice??

[gkb2215]

I'm starting a new job on Monday, and while I knew we'd have to prepare for me to travel some, I didn't realize it would be so soon. In a week-and-a-half I have to leave town for three nights, and I'm worried for my 22-month-old daughter and my husband. She's a light sleeper who has nursed to sleep since day 1, and she usually wakes a few times at night and nurses back down...she'll howl if I deny her the breast. My husband is a stay-at-home dad and is wonderful with her, but night time has always been "mommy time."

I've been wanting to night-wean for a long time but haven't mustered the stamina to stick to it. In some ways, while I'm dreading being away from her, I'm thinking this may force us to night-wean, which may ultimately be a good thing.

So, advice from anyone who has been there/done that? I'm clueless. My husband plans to rock her in the Ergo back to sleep each time she wakes up, and offer her snacks and water, but we're both worried about how this will go. Thanks in advance...

[mamabutterfly]

Wait, since dh is a SAHD, why doesn't he travel with you w/the babe, and you work during the day but at night your guys share a hotel room? That's what I would do at 22 months. We did that for a conference last year when dd was one. (Although I don't know if your travel is halfway around the world I guess).

If this isn't possible, maybe bite the bullet right away and buckle down for Dr Jay Gordon's nightweaning plan now? (Google it if you haven't read it). This give you 10 nights to try that before you are gone, and since dh is a SAHD he can begin now to shift to the nighttime parenting with a gradual ramping down of nursing frequency on your part.

Good luck!

[Artichokie]

when my sisters and I were kids and my mom needed to travel overnight we went with her and did fun stuff with my dad during the day. We were a bfing, cosleeping family.

[Tjej]

My DS didn't nurse often at night before I left town for 5 nights, but he did nurse about 1x a night. It actually went okay. He was younger (1 1/2yo). Some things I did were: the kids came with the airport to see I left on a plane (so they weren't afraid that I'd disappear for a bunch of days if I just left the house), I recorded short videos for them on the webcam for each day (one day I read a book, one day I told them about what I was going to be doing and talked about the stuff I knew they'd be doing, etc...), I gave them each a little matchbox car with a heart painted in nailpolish on the bottom that said Mama Loves You in it, I left a little letter for each of them (postcard) I thought they'd like and I told them where it was one night on the webcam...

They did miss me (DS was 1 1/2, DD was 3), but they were really fine and had fun with the stuff and they weren't particularly traumatized when I got back. I had been worried my DS might be, but he wasn't. I also used it as a nightweaning opportunity and it went fine. He did ask the first night I was back, but I just told him "in the morning" and rocked him a bit and it was pretty smooth.

Tjej

ETA: I should say he did increase his daytime nursing when we nightweaned, but I don't find that surprising. Oh, and bring a pump!!!

[hollytheteacher]

Back in November I had to travel for work and ds was only 27 months (and def still night nursing) so DH took a few days off from work and came with me! He took DS out and did sightseeing all day while I went to my conference and then at night we all snuggled up at the hotel! best of both worlds!

[kalamos23]

I would definitely see if DH can come with you - we just did that for a mini-vacation with DH's work - had to drive about 2 hours away for a conference, so DD and I went to the zoo and the science center. DD is 22mo too and a total boobieaholic so I understand! I'd still work on nightweaning since it sounds like travel is going to be a necessary thing, but see if they can join you for just this trip to give you more time to do it gently, kwim?

[bobandjess99]

I'd bring dh, thats what i did when my babies were that little and i had to travel for work.

[gkb2215]

Thank you all for the thoughtful advice! I appreciate it. While taking my husband and daughter may have been workable, the reality is that I'm going to have to travel fairly frequently, so it would have been just delaying the inevitable. Also, I thought about trying Jay Gordon's method (and I'll probably actually do that soon), but it seemed like too much to cram into a week-and-a-half, so I just crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.

Things went way better than we expected! What a relief. She went to bed easily for her dad, and each night woke up at 2:30 a.m., ate some cereal and drank some water, and went right back to sleep on her own. I'm totally impressed with both of them I, on the other hand, cried both nights I brought her home a book about the city I visited, as I'll probably try to do with each trip I take. She smothered me with kisses when I got home...very cool.