We have 3 and we went thru the same thing you are going thru.....we were done but just couldn't shake the nagging feeling like maybe somewhere down the road we might want another.... DD2 was SUCH AN EASY baby, I mean I couldn't have asked for a "better" baby, she slept fairly well compared to dd1 and never fussed too much about anything, but for some reason I just didn't feel complete.
Well, one night on our anniversary and 3 glasses of wine and a nice dinner later we got carried away(we were only using withdrawal as our bc) and lo and behold it resulted in DS. I was sooooo completely shell-shocked. Ds came and he was the COMPLETE opposite of easy! He cried day and night and nothing helped....DH went for the big V when ds was only 2 weeks old. He even called me from the dr's office to tell me that there was a mix up with the insurance that it wouldn't be covered, I told him he had better NOT come home without having it done. There was NOOOO way in h*** I wanted to have to go thru what I was going thru again. Yes, if we had another it could be another easy baby like dd2 but I wasn't willing to take that chance.
I mean I LOVE ds to death! but he is the whiniest toddler even....I just feel so completely drained all the time. Just like you when we have our good nights I have this TINY twinge like maybe we made a mistake but then 2 seconds later I slap myself and wonder what the heck I was thinking for those 2 seconds!
I have to remind myself of the bad times too because I know how miserable we ALL (my children suffered also because ds required soooo much of our time and care) were.
I didn't mean this to discourage you, I was just wanting to add another perspective on the subject.