Thoughts about a third - Page 2

[NicaG]

I wish there were a "thinking about a third child" tribe here somewhere. I feel like I'm always lurking around these posts, always trying to figure out if we could handle another child, always trying to figure out how to make it work, trying to figure out if our family is complete. I think we're going to start ttc next week(!) but we'll see. We go back and forth, but in the end we really want a bigger family (dh and I both come from small families and it seems so lonely). I'll be 37 in August, so there's not much time to keep debating!

[RTT]

I appreciate all the input. I literally go back and forth on this issue every day. At times when my two are driving me nuts I think I am completely done, and then we have those sweet, wonderful times together and I feel like there just has to be another child down the road for our family. I wish I knew for certain one way or the other.

[ginnybee]

I had my third in February and thought I'd toss in my two cents. I'm one of 5 kids and always wanted a big family. DH was not so sure after baby #2. We'd just decided to stop at 2 (and foster-to-adopt down the road) when we found out I was pregnant again. I was thrilled! Since having baby 3, though, I'm advising caution! Of course I could never imagine life without my LO, but I'm totally with the moms who sometimes feel like they're on the verge of losing it. Take a good look at your resources. I think IF my husband worked fewer hours (40 or less), IF I had family nearby to pitch in, IF we were more financially secure, IF my second-born were less demanding, and IF I was better with stress-management (time to go back to therapy?), having a third would be totally do-able.

[starlein26]

Originally Posted by ginnybee

Take a good look at your resources. I think IF my husband worked fewer hours (40 or less), IF I had family nearby to pitch in, IF we were more financially secure, IF my second-born were less demanding, and IF I was better with stress-management (time to go back to therapy?), having a third would be totally do-able.

I couldn't agree more. Once you have three kids...ANY additional stressor is HARD. Being outnumbered when both parents are home is also HARD. I'm not sure how other mothers/parents perceive this challenge when they see it isn't so bad...

[lotus.blossom]

I'm really enjoying these perspectives! I wrestle with the thought of a third on a daily basis. But I am wondering if its a third child that I want or if its just that I have unresolved issues with birth and child genders. I dream of having a perfect vaginally delivered blue eyed little baby girl. Not that I love my c/s born dark eyed little boys any less....... Its just something that I think about a LOT. My DH is NOT interested in a third. I know theres a little piece of his heart that misses out on having a daughter and I don't think he is 100% against the idea of a third. He certainly won't ever get a vascectomy so its possible....... but we really are liking the thought of having some time to ourself and being able to sleep again. DS2 is ridiculously easy compared to DS1 and we are afraid of having another difficult baby for a third. I'm 29 and always wanted to be done with the baby thing by 30 so I guess I have another year to think about it. And I like the 3 year spacing so I guess if it doesn't happen in another year we might really be done.

[major_mama11]

I have been thinking about a third a lot lately. DS has been a much more cry-y baby than DD was, and for a while I was thinking maybe we would stop at 2. But we have always planned to have more than 2- in fact, the vehicle that we bought when I was pg with my 2nd was bought specifically because it would fit more 3-4 kids in the back.

At this point, we've pretty much decided that we will have a third at some point- we're just waiting for DS to be past the super clingy toddler stage (and DH doesn't know it, but I'm also waiting until I can get into a benefited position where I work, since DH's work has lost their good health insurance and we now have only crisis coverage).

I'll be 30 this fall, so I'm okay with putting off trying for a third until DS is around 2 or 2.5 (he's only 13 months now).

I'm one of 2, and I always wanted another sibling, and often felt kinda lonely when my older sister didn't want to play with me. Both my DH and my XH were one of 3 kids. My dad is also one of 3, and he has tried to make me vow to have a 4th if we have a 3rd (he feels like being the middle child is what made my uncle grow up to have such a rough life).

[BeanyMama]

I absolutely love having three kids. Love it. We planned to stop at two and am so glad we didn't. It's hard as hell, no doubt, but priceless.