REALLY need some advice, encouragement, or opinions..anything.

[blessedmama59]

Okay, so I'm a SAHM to my one year old. I am so blessed to be able to be home with her and I love every minute of it. Before having her, I was very independent, ambitious, and had good income. I had all intentions on returning to work at first, but I just can't stomach the thought of putting her in daycare or letting the in-laws babysit. My family is over an hour away so that's out of the question too. I've mentioned to my hubby about doing part-time work (I'm a massage therapist/doula) now that our daughter is a little older and he just wants me to continue staying home full time. I get kind of excited knowing I could possibly incorporate work back into my life and that the money my parents spent on college won't be a complete waste. I would also like to know I could balance the whole being a mother and having a career thing. But now we've been kinda TTC#2 bc we both agree that we want our daughter to have a sibling close in age. I'm all for the idea of having another and we are able to afford it, even without me working. I just have this inner conflict with myself bc I know if we have another baby my chances of being able to work soon will be quite slim. Is this selfish thinking? I mean, being a mother is what is most important to me but I also have other goals I am striving to reach. Eventually I want to be self-employed and have a home business. I just feel more balanced when I do my work, and I would also like to know I could somewhat provide for my family if need be. I'm still young and I try to remind myself of that and that babies aren't little forever. I don't know..I just need some type of support, advice, or encouragement. I tend to get pretty down on myself if I think about this too much. Thanks ahead of time for any replies.

[Kindermama]

I understand! I have a very part-time home practice (5 hours/week + time working on my cases (+5 hours or so) as well and we have contemplated adding to our family. I did have concerns over losing my momentum with homeopathy, so to speak, if we have another child. In the end, I decided I would not put my practice on hold. I certainly wouldn't seek any new clients during the first few months but I'd continue to see my current clients as needed. My practice is very important to me...it's not "work" to me but my calling, just as much so as mothering.

I am blessed to create my own hours so DH would just watch the baby while I see each client. I plan not to make any appts back to back so really I'd be away from baby now more than an hour at a time.

[blessedmama59]

Yeah, that's kind of what I would like to do. I haven't really had "clients", mostly friends who are understanding of my schedule/situation. I'm like you though, it's not just work but a calling. I am a healer (as I'm sure you are since you practice homeopathy) and I really enjoy the exchange of energy. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my place in the field if I take too long though..staying with current modalities, trends, CEUs, etc. I try to keep my studies constant, but witha one year old it's hard to keep my nose in a book for long periods of time lol Thanks so much for the input! I considered pursuing naturopathy, BTW

[mambera]

Doula work seems like it would be really hard with young kids. (Unpredictable, extended periods away from home at odd hours.) But massage therapy sounds pretty controllable. Why couldn't you start making a few isolated appointments at times when your DH is available to watch your DD? I think it's good to 'keep a hand in' even with very small children because it makes it much easier to 'on-ramp' again later.

[Drummer's Wife]

I agree that you could do massage therapy part-time in the evenings/weekends (I think that tends to be when other working adults are free - so you could probably find plenty of clients).

I do think your feelings are normal. If/when you add another child, you will be busier and it will add some time to the whole SAHM gig. But, at the same time, if you know you want more than one kid, the sooner you have another, the sooner they will be older and more independant, sleeping through the night, going to school (if you choose that route), etc.