LNF 
I am worried about you too. You have an amazing attitude and are handling everything really really well, and you are a strong, resilient woman, but you have been through so much with this pg. Do take care of yourself and give yourself time to grieve and heal. One thing that helped me after my last birth was a good EFA supplement - it really helped my moods stabilize and helped me think more clearly.
While I know you feel very fortunate that Mercy came through her ordeal unscathed, those feelings only go so far. I am sure I have mentioned this before, but dd1 was born with severe meconium aspiration, and we spent three weeks in the hospital with her, after which we brought home a completely healthy baby. We were told over and over how "lucky" we were that she had lived in the first place and that she ended up with no long term issues. I knew I should feel fortunate, but just couldn't get there. As dh finally put it, it was like being mugged and beaten and being told we were lucky that we weren't killed too. It took me a couple of years to really process everything.
Jess Glad things seem to be getting better. I would just second all the great advice you got on last week's thread. And no, what you are dealing with is not the average baby - we had one very high needs, clingy baby in dd1 and I felt exactly like you a lot of the time. Esp. when I couldn't even put her down to go to the effign bathroom without screaming. But it DOES get better. And, fwiw, dd2 was almost a polar opposite - slept three hours at a stretch from day 1, didn't cry unless she was actually hungry/wet/in pain, was ok for periods on her own in the bouncy seat, took a paci, etc. I didn't know what to do with myself.
Carley Going from one to two was a HUGE learning curve for me. I think it took me about nine months to really get the hang of it. Until then we were late everywhere and the house was a disaster. Of course, compared to NOW, the house was sparkling and things ran like clockwork.
But it does work itself out eventually. Honestly, though, I would go ahead and hire the cleaning people. I have a couple who comes twice a month - it forces me to get the house somewhat straightened up, and, as dh pointed out, even if there is clutter and they can't clean as completely as I would like, it is still better than not having it cleaned at all. They are based in Renton, btw, and do a lot of work in Seattle - pm me if you want their contact info - they are an incredibly sweet couple and are pretty reasonable, less than the services I priced.
And yeah, I actually called one of my friends the other day and asked her if CPS still frowns on locking your kids in the dog crate. Ours is pretty roomy, but apparently that doesn't make a difference.
Snoopy I have a non-stop talker too. I have even offered to pay for five minutes of silence. Doesn't work. And now that dd2 is talking, I get it in stereo. Yipes. After Maya and Hannah were born, my OB was telling me how his mom was unable to bf his youngest brother because he and the middle brother were creating such a commotion every minute in the house. I felt for the woman but thought, "eh, won't happen to me, my kids are easy." Bwahahahaha. About three days later, sitting on the sofa trying to nurse with two kids yelling and crawling all over me, I had a flash of understanding for just what that poor woman had gone through.
afm Well, I am caught up with work, after spending yesterday working - since I spent Friday in the ER with dd2. Sigh. Dh was getting cranky with me toward the end of the day, even though I TOLD him I needed the full day to work and he had agreed on Friday that would be ok. Apparently he didn't believe me. He took the kids to the library for about an hour and I guess I was supposed to wrap it up then. When they came back and I was griping about constant interruptions and noise (which were going on because he was ignoring the kids and trying to do his own thing upstairs) he snapped, "well, what the hell did you do while we were gone?" Uh, excuse me. I worked to put FOOD on our EFFING TABLE. And I had to get it done yesterday because he had already put dibs on all day today for school work. Complaining all the while about how burned out he is - I am supposed to feel sorry for him, I guess?
Honestly, I wish wish wish I could trade bodies with him for a week so he could have some idea what my life is really like. Ok, rant over.
Other than that, yesterday was ok. Ellen seems to be on the mend - she is still sleeping a lot, but is eating and drinking fairly well again, and her moods have improved, thank goodness. Hoping the antibiotic kicks in soon and her ears feel better. Poor kid. And I actually managed to wrap up my work in time to sneak out and get my hair cut!
It feels so good to have all the crappy split ends and friz off my head!
Ok, off to take the kids shopping for dh's birthday present and dinner. His birthday is tomorrow but we are celebrating today as he has class tomorrow night. Dd1 has decided she wants to get him a rubber frog for his birthday. We'll have to talk.
It was fun. Lots of people brought little gifts for DD, which meant a lot to me.
Make sure you go buy those muffins when you need to.
on the Zantac!
I'm almost-- almost-- looking forward to the first time someone tells me in person to take my breastfeeding elsewhere.
