Weekly thread, May 23-30 - Page 7

[jenfl]

Pepper -- Sounds very much like Babywise. That's rough to hear.

LNF -- Wow, crazy!

[sew_crafty_girl]

What's with the ads imbedded in the threads? Our DDC is 2nd from the top now

[silverspook]

Both boys gave us a hard time going to sleep tonight. DS1 must have gotten out of bed three or four times before he finally went to sleep and I'm currently nursing & rocking DS2 down for the third time! Good thing tomorrow is Saturday. Maybe DS1 will sleep in a little since he stayed up so late.

We had our first play date since DS2 was born today. A friend came over with her son who is 4 days younger than DS1. It went well! The boys played together with out fighting, the baby slept, and the mamas got to chat and catch up over coffee. It was great!

Can I gripe a minute? DH downloaded a World of Warcraft free trial the day before DS2 was born. He's always been into the geeky rpg games, but I've heard of this game destroying marriages and families. He's played it for at least an hour or two everyday since he downloaded it, he's playing it now in fact. I don't think I've done anything just for me like that since DS2 was born, except hang out here on MDC, and you can see how little time I spend here! I've been busy keeping the house running and taking care of a 3.5 y/o and a newborn. I expressed my displeasure to him about it's addictiveness but he promised that it's only a free trial. I am irritated with him because it's such a waste of valuable time. He could be doing so much more with his time - focusing on God, spending time with his family, helping out around the house, etc. Ugh. I just hope he doesn't get sucked in completely. It's not bad right now, but I can see how easily that could change.

[loveneverfails]

Amanda, I wouldn't worry too much about Warcraft. I hate the game, and my husband's played it for years, but the guy deserves down time too with how much other stuff he does. It's not easy being a father of 5 and working a difficult job, so I let it go.

I'd honestly be more concerned that you're not getting enough down time for you than that your husband is spending an hour or two playing Warcraft. Do you get time by yourself to go out with your friends to get some coffee and dessert or anything? Go for walks by yourself or just with the baby? I don't know that this is what's going on for you, but my husband's needs being met tends to bug the living daylights out of me when my own needs have gotten thrown out the window and then driven over by a truck multiple times. Just be careful. You deserve downtime too, and it helps position yourself and your family to be able to better focus on your faith and eachother than you would be able to do sometimes without having that time to relax.

[crazyeight]

i'm not to fond of any computer or game console games. one of my ex's took every waking minute he wasn't at work to play the darn stuff. i told exh that i didn't want that stuff but eventually the computer games worked back in and low and behold he spent HOURS playing it (usually the middle of the night and then not getting up till 11 or 12 and then playing some more).

anyone want a 5 and 3 yr old? they were fantastic this morning however it spiraled downhill to jumping on the couch and destorying the bed then being in/out all the time and then running off to play with a "friend" without telling me...in the DARK. of course then R is screaming cause he's tired and dinner is getting cold.

pepper~ my bf's bro and his gf have a 16 wk old and they started food already as well. i was very very surprised and said thats a bit early isn't it?! they said their ped said babies on formula can start solids earlier than bf babies i mean really what kind of crap are ped's giving these days?! i tried to put in my plug that ds2 won't get solids for a long time, that i never fed dd baby food and that i never fed her with a utensil (not that i don't think it's ok but that ARE completely different trains of thought that are OK!) etc.

[ivymae]

Our rule about games is that if one of us asks for help with the kids while the other is playing, there is no "Just a minute" BS. If you can't get up and walk away from it right then, it needs to wait until the kids are asleep. WoW didn't work, since he was always in the middle of some big mission. Also, the $ for a monthly subscription comes out of our "mad money" so I'd rather have a latte once a week for a month than play an RPG for an hour after the kids go to sleep.

Becky's had cranky don't-you-dare-put-me-down days lately too. Let's blame it on the moon.

[Carita]

carley - all i know is my son tested (-) for milk on skin prick and IgE blood tests. the doc said there was still a 10% chance he had an allergy and that challenge data (food journal) ursurps all testing. we cut milk b/c of congestion problems early on & when we did solids later he actually threw up and got a ragin EI after a few days of yogurt & more immediate throwing up and fever w/goldfish. Even subsequent challenges gave yeilded stomach aches and EI - all signs of increased congestion/mucous. My fam all had a congestion issue w/milk (my sis & dad have chronic sinus infections until they cut down milk), so I've often wondered if it is just an intolerance problem instead (hispanics have a very high incidence of lactose interolence). Eliminating dairy & seeing a chiro really helped for us. - fyi just in case your CF is neg.

jess - amazing HMO response - glad you are getting help

baby girl is smiling & has developed a bit of a mommy preference. i am savoring that feeling of being the only one that can soothe her at times. she is a little twit. she was crying near bed time, about 7 (she goes to bed when my son goes to bed at 8), and i could her she was tired, but she wouldn't nurse and sleep in my arms. so i started bedtime routine a bit early - gave her a bath (happy), then a baby massage w/olive oil (upset at first then happy, but this is a newer addition to the bedtime routine), then walked around with her (upset - not part of bedtime routine), then hopped into bed and put her down as if we were calling it a night - she latched happily, nursed fully and went right to sleep! Apparently, she just wanted to go to bed! LOL

[jenfl]

Okay, guys, this is getting really hard. Sprout has started screaming and crying when it's time to nurse. Either I have to shove my breast in while he screams and wait for him to stop screaming around my breast and start to nurse or rock and bounce him while he screams enough to nearly fall asleep and then I can get him on while mostly drowsy.

I going to try upping his Zantac dose in case it's the reflux flaring up, but I think it's because he's been having a lot of trouble nursing lately. He's still dropping, and now he's got this weird habit of maybe starting to suck before he's totally on? I can't quite tell what he's doing, but whatever it is, it's making him take in a lot of air and is making him really uncomfortable.

I'm going to pay attention today and see how many sessions he screams for, but I'm pretty sure it was nearly all of them yesterday.

At what point is this worse than going to a bottle? It was bad enough that nursing wasn't relaxing, but now I'm worried we're bordering on traumatizing! :cry

[silverspook]

Originally Posted by loveneverfails

Amanda, I wouldn't worry too much about Warcraft. I hate the game, and my husband's played it for years, but the guy deserves down time too with how much other stuff he does. It's not easy being a father of 5 and working a difficult job, so I let it go.

I'd honestly be more concerned that you're not getting enough down time for you than that your husband is spending an hour or two playing Warcraft. Do you get time by yourself to go out with your friends to get some coffee and dessert or anything? Go for walks by yourself or just with the baby? I don't know that this is what's going on for you, but my husband's needs being met tends to bug the living daylights out of me when my own needs have gotten thrown out the window and then driven over by a truck multiple times. Just be careful. You deserve downtime too, and it helps position yourself and your family to be able to better focus on your faith and eachother than you would be able to do sometimes without having that time to relax.

Glad to hear about someone who plays it but doesn't play it every waking moment, you know? I'm just concerned about worst case scenario I guess. And, no, I'm not getting any time to myself right now, but DS2 isn't even two weeks old yet, so he's still nursing every 2 hours and it's not easy to NIP with him yet. And honestly I don't really want to get out by myself with or without DS2 yet, I'm really just wanting to snuggle & spend time with DH in the evenings after both boys are in bed.

Phew...With that said, I talked to DH and the trial ends today. We had to unexpectedly replace a tire on his car last week so we are strapped for cash which means no more WoW for a while!

[Peace+Hope]

carley, oh my, i hope it's not CF, and just some extra unexplained mucous. amazing that you have to unstick her lungs in the night?? please don't feel badly that you don't have energy to exercise. i really hope this just passes soon.

rhi, . charlie has gotten a LOT better at taking gripe water by syringe... just saying cause that method of giving liquids should get easier for you! didn't you say you'd pumped a bottle for Lorelai? can you mix some zantac w/ milk and give it to her that way? sorry if i missed why you can't/that you have tried this....

ivy, woooow! remember "yo momma's so fat..." jokes? maybe you should start a "my baby's so fat...." thread . we had a "my baby's so tiny" email round in my family for charlie when he was so tiny.

mmp, thanks, so good to hear another experienced mom say the stuff about sleep. how's your little guy?

greentea, i hear you about your mom "dragging you in." i have a similar emotional relationship w/ my mom, though the issue is different. i always think i've learned to keep my distance enough not to get hurt/stressed/angry, but nope, it always happens again! BTW, i'd LOVE to have you guys to my house to hang out, and i know you weren't suggesting it!

dhinderliter, yes to the "brand new" thing. 9 weeks feels like forever, and an instant... did you get into your new place??

jsh, yay for awesome support and hope for feeling better! as you weigh all the factors relating to BF and drugs.

pepper, ugh. my sister is getting a lot of exposure to moms who discipline their infants. just. don't. get. it.

lnf, wow, i imagine that would be very confusing. i read while TTC that as many as 50% of all pregnancies may begin as multiples. have you had a loss another time? how did you feel about the little one(s) then?

silverspook, i feel the same way, about use of time. definitely seems worthy of discussion...glad you talked. maybe the convo will help him not fall into other activities that create the same situation? my husband won't do it w/ computer games, but b/n work and cooking (hobby/fun for both of us) and coming up with projects he wants to do around the house, some days i feel like my "free" time gets eaten up. he can ALWAYS be busy. so, we keep talking...

carita, wow, routine?! i am oblivious to the possibility that charlie might get a routine at this age... an honest question: how do you maintain flexibility and have a routine too? i'd like charlie to be able to go with the flow, ya know?

jenfl, oh my .

no giggles here, but smiles and coos and squeals. yesterday charlie would NOT be put down for a nap, but today he is napping by himself... frustrated that i have to wait for my shoulder to heal to wear him, neither of us did well with the pouch sling.

any recommendations for a "thing" for charlie to sit in? he's liking being upright more, and there are some things i can't do wearing him. i just don't want to try the back wearing, especially outside, even once i can use my wrap again. most bouncy seats are so reclined... baby bjorn has one that goes into three positions, but it is almost $200! i'd like to be able to let him hang w/ me while i garden and work in the yard...

[loveneverfails]

P+H, I've had several miscarriages, and this was my second twin pregnancy. Our first was a set of twins in the same sac that died in the late 1st trimester.

I was honestly surprised that this pregnancy was viable at all. It was my first cycle back after my youngest son, and I always have ridiculously short luteal phases, like 8-10 days instead of 12. I didn't think a pregnancy could be sustained at that point. I mean, I called my family practice doctor to confirm miscarriage when I had a positive pregnancy test after that much heavy bleeding. Maybe I had a miscarriage AND twins still in there.

It's just really freaking bizarre to think about naturally occuring triplets.

[Carita]

Originally Posted by Peace+Hope

carita, wow, routine?! i am oblivious to the possibility that charlie might get a routine at this age... an honest question: how do you maintain flexibility and have a routine too? i'd like charlie to be able to go with the flow, ya know?

My son has A LOT of trouble going to sleep at night, so I am starting to make more effort to make things predictable before bedtime to hopefully have less trouble with her at night. Yes - the bad part is that at bedtime she is less flexible about our plans (she refused to fall asleep in the car until 10PM coming back from dinner w/my dad), but I think I am willing to sacrifice that if the bonus is that she will go to bed a bit easier than my son.

I try to get a balance of having routine and having flexibility... too much room for leeway gets my kids grumpy w/out their proper naps, etc., but I don't try to schedule them either. I don't do the whole routine w/bath everynight, but I do have a certain order of short things like new diaper, changing PJs, etc. that I do every night.

Balance is that magic word of life isn't it? Seems like that is what everything comes down to...

[jenfl]

Originally Posted by Peace+Hope

carita, wow, routine?! i am oblivious to the possibility that charlie might get a routine at this age... an honest question: how do you maintain flexibility and have a routine too? i'd like charlie to be able to go with the flow, ya know?

We aim for "routine" (things for the kids to expect to follow one another) over "schedule" (things that happen based on time). But Sprout has a routine that's verging on a schedule:

- Up at 7am with the rest of the house
- Awake for 1-2 hours
- Short nap (45-60 minutes)
- Series of awake time and naps through the day, with more sleep than awake during the afternoon
- In late afternoon, I start trying to arrange his naps; aiming for sleep from 4:30-5:30
- Awake at 5:30 during dinner and DD's bedtime routine
- At 7pm, when DD is in bed, start DS's bedtime routine (bath, PJs, medicine, outside walk or sitting on the lanai, nursing, rocking, bed)
- In bed around 7:30pm

[dogretro]

Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate

AFM, I just need to stay away from pregnant and newly postpartum women. A friend went in for her 40w checkup, and her mw transfered her to L&D at 0 dilation 0 effacement for an induction "Because there's no reason not to get this over with! Let's go meet your baby!" 18 hours later, she's confined to her bed with an epi (because pit hurts like a mofo) and still only 2cm dilated.

That makes me want to punch myself in the head! Seriously, wtf??? Look at how many of us went over (and some WAY over) our due dates & went into labor on our own, or close to it. We labored & had our babies all in good time b/c we waited until our bodies decided it was time. That is pure, undiluted stupidity to send a perfectly healthy woman whose cervix is not ready to be induced for labor. Absolutely idiotic.

[smeisnotapirate]

Originally Posted by dogretro

That makes me want to punch myself in the head! Seriously, wtf??? Look at how many of us went over (and some WAY over) our due dates & went into labor on our own, or close to it. We labored & had our babies all in good time b/c we waited until our bodies decided it was time. That is pure, undiluted stupidity to send a perfectly healthy woman whose cervix is not ready to be induced for labor. Absolutely idiotic.

Yeah, she tweeted me from her room "OMG, you're right. Pitocin is horrible." MW told her she would use foley (that was what she'd requested and agreed to in her birth plan) and didn't for some reason. She gave her Cytotec and then hooked her up to Pitocin. Was able to labor on it for about an hour (on an obscenely high level, according to her DH) before asking for the epidural. I'm so sad for her, because this was NOT what she was looking for in her birth.

She's had her baby, who is now in the NICU for severe breathing issues. They'll have to stay in until at least Monday, she's saying. Not sure if she had a c-section or got her vaginal birth. I'm almost afraid to ask for the birth story.

So far, in the 3 births we've had, mine was the only one without intervention, despite being the longest and riskiest (VBAC). The other two have been perfectly healthy first-time moms with no birthing education and a vague plan to "have a natural birth unless it's not safe" and we've already had one c-section for meconium in the water and one induction for "post-dates" at 40w, 3d.

There is just so much wrong with this system I cannot even begin to talk to these women about their births without offending them. Because they KNOW that the doctors saved their childrens' lives. So what can I say? All I can do is support them.

Enough of that topic. Too depressing.

I'm hoping that today looks up - nobody's set to give birth for another 2 weeks or so and if I can convince DS not to scream "NUUUUUUUUUUUUS!" every time his sister nurses, maybe my sanity will last until noon.

Thrush seems to be gone, but something weird is going on in my vaginal area. Can't tell if it's yeast migrating or a UTI, so I'm going to start using lavender water on my cloth wipes and pumping cranberry. Can't hurt to do both.

I hope I can get some gardening in today. And a nap. That would be nice.

Happy 3 day weekend, mamas! Remember the reason for the holiday, and make sure to visit a graveyard and thank a soldier sometime this weekend. Oh, and BBQ. Because that's reason #3 for the holiday.