Car seat battles

[Biscuits & Gravy]

Getting my 17mo DS in and out of the car seat is making us both miserable and angry. He flips around, stands up so he can see out the front, pushes against the back seat with his legs, screams, hits, throws himself around, arches his back, anything he can do to keep me from buckling him in. Then once he is in he screams and screeches the entire time.

Any suggestions for getting past this phase? I am at the point where I debate daily about turning him around.

[kai28]

I'm a bad mom. I turned my DS around right at a year. because otherwise we'd never go anywhere at all. He HATED facing backward. now (13 mo) he's facing forward, in the center of the gigantic SUV, and he's happily chatting with me and I can grab his toes and tickle while still facing forward & watching the road. Our ability to go places is amazing now. The best part? he can now recognize his neighborhood. I can describe to him here is so & so's house, here is the cemetary, here is so and so's house, our house is next! and he gets very excited when he recognizes various things as we get closer to the house. He loves pointing at the trucks through the windshield, etc... the difference is just amazing. He actually talks constantly about what he sees, and he's at least getting the stimulation he didn't get while facing backwardm staring at the back of the seat, screaming his head off.

I know, I know, backward facing is the best, but it was either that or never going to the grocery store. I put up with the screaming for a year. I talked with his Dr. about it, and she said that it was fine to turn it around, and I shouldn't worry about it. I do worry. but I also reason that in reality, it's safer for EVERYONE to ride backward, not just little kids. If I had a kid who didn't need constant stimulation, then he'd probably still be facing backward.

when we were kids, I don't even think we had car seats at this age. certainly my moms car only had lap belts - and maybe only those in the front seat. that doesn't change the statistics, but we could also drive ourselves nuts with statistics, paint ourselves into a little fear corner so that we never leave the house.

[SallyN]

1st thing I would do would be to check and make sure nothing is hurting him once he's buckled in. My dd1 often fought me over the carseat but it was usually an overtired/overhungry/etc thing. Once she was buckled in, the tantrum would subside.

[lyra2007]

I don't know that turning him around would solve the problem; he may just not like being confined. My daughter is 26 months and still rear facing--she points out everything as we drive by--cars, trees, Safeway, the parks and rec building, etc--I just need to remember she will see something a second after I do, so I try not to point it out as soon as I see it.

I think it is a phase and you just have to power through it. That may not be helpful, but other than being sure he isn't being pinched by a strap or whatever, I don't think there's much you can do.

[Friday13th]

I think it's really common around that age when they're all about exploring their mobility. If you're figuring out how to run at super-speed and scale the furniture, where's the fun in being buckled into something?

I certainly wouldn't turn him, I'd invest in a few loud car-only toys, some snacks and just try to buckle him in quickly and get it over with.

And it's worth noting it's a lot harder to buckle in a resistant kid who is FF, they just slide to the floor. And my RF 2.5 year old sees and talks about everything and recognizes when we're approaching our house or friends houses so he's certainly not bored back there.

[pbjmama]

Its the age. The fight it for awhile then get over it for awhile then fight it again.

[LROM]

My dd is the same, is 17 months, and has been fighting it for at least 4 months. But she doesn't fight it every single time... more like 2 out of 3 times.

What has worked best is actually music - They Might Be Giants "Here Come the 123s" turned up a bit usually quiets her quickly, and the Mickey Mouse theme and Hot Dog song at the end have been soothing her since she was like 6 months old and still works.

Singing to her also works, but not as quickly or as consistently as that cd.

She usually is either quiet after that or actually chatty.

Once in awhile when she's really tired, she cries for quite a while regardless of any music, then falls asleep. But 9 outta 10 times she either calms down herself or the music gets her calm quickly. Try it if you haven't (doesn't have to be that cd but that's what worked for us.)

[sapphire_chan]

We're lucky enough to only be having huge problems getting her into the carseat. What usually works is calling someone and letting DD talk to them. That could at least get him into the carseat.

(next invention: physically attach a blue tooth headset to phone with no service so I can make a call on my phone and she can talk on her phone and then push buttons as long as she wants after the other person hangs up.)

[dachshund mom]

A car only toy is helpful for us, particularly one that sings or talks. I hand her the toy and sing along as we buckle. Library books that are new to her. A snack in a snack trap or sippy of water helps distract. I check out a ton of CDs from the library and she really loves listening to them, especially simple kids songs with words she knows.