diaper free days at 18 months, still needs diaper at night 3.5 years?

[mexicali mami]

I was just wondering if anyone else had this problem. I started with EC very early and had him totally done with diapers at 18 months. I continued to use cloth diapers at night eventually switching to disposables about a year ago. Now I feel like he really should be able to STTN without peeing so we "ran out" of diapers a couple of weeks ago. We take him to pee before bed but he is still wetting the bed (our bed since we co-sleep) about 50% of the time. It's gotten to the point where I can't sleep because I'm so anxious wondering if he is going to pee and waking up to take him to in the middle of the night...and then just wishing I had stuck with the EC at nighttime as well. Are there any tips to getting a consistent dry nighttime? I even wonder if taking him to pee in the middle of the night is counter productive since the real goal is to just hold it until the morning. TIA. Cheers!

[lisavark]

I also never EC'd at night and figured DD would just learn to hold it, but my DD is only 27 months right now so don't know if I'm any help really. But anyway, I still usually try to use a diaper at night, but sometimes she refuses, and I let her. We definitely had some nighttime misses and a very wet bed, but I've gotten to where I usually *know* when she wakes up if she needs to go. Like you, I had some really anxious nights, which is why I kept using a diaper, but when she started protesting the diaper I decided that I really needed to respect that. Anyway, last night I had a great success where I just knew she needed to go, I took her, and she didn't get up and she went right back to sleep! that was at about midnight. From what I've read from other people who DO EC at night, it seems like most kids need to pee around 11 or so, when their parents come to bed. I dunno, it seems to me that if a kid was really sleeping all night--like 10 or 12 hours--that would be a really long time for a small bladder to hold it. So I suggest offering a pee when you go to bed...even adults usually pee right before bed, right? And we don't sleep as long so it's not as long to hold it. I don't really know, but I remember as a kid that I usually had to get up at some point in the middle of the night to pee...isn't that pretty normal? Just that eventually they can do it without help?

[blackbird2]

We've night EC'd. The main thing is just like daytime EC - try to get a sense of what his "signals" are: a period of extended restlessness, making noises, getting into child's pose, sitting up and flopping over... or just timing. Like the PP said, your LO doesn't need to fully waken. And decide on an easy way to deal with night misses (like just drop a towel over it or change a pad out from under your LO) to keep the disturbance to a minimum for all of you. If you wanted to, you could keep him in a diaper for a learning period and just check it frequently til you have a sense of when he pees.

I don't think it's counterproductive to allow nighttime pees when you want him to stay dry all night. If he's got to go ... I think the trick is more learning to rouse yourself when you need to make that trip rather than wetting the bed.
good luck!

[emmaegbert]

my DS is 5 1/2 and while he is *usually* dry at night (we take him to pee before we go to bed- between 10 and 11, or if we hear him rustling around in there... almost everyone I talk to who does this find it works just fine). But at least once a week he is very wet. We came into some large fuzzibunz as hand-me-downs and double stuff them, and he doesn't mind wearing them. FWIW we did an EC-like early consensual toilet learning, and he was out of daytime dipes by 21m.

I think he's really on the old side for this, but have also heard of a number of other kids who do the same.

For a while he roused himself and asked me to take him to the bathroom- like between 22 and 26 months, but then he started sleeping through the night, and that is when the bedwetting started.

I've come around to accepting that if he doesn't rouse from the need to urinate, nothing I can do is going to force that to happen. And I certainly don't blame myself (or him) for it. I try to set him up for success, take him to the toilet every evening, keep him in a comfortable reusable diaper, and keep the bed with a thick wool blanket and bed bad over the mattress so its not a big deal if he wets.

[Jaimee]

I'm new to EC so I can't speak to the idea that consistent ECing=earlier nighttime dryness. But, I can say that dd daytime potty learned at 20 months and wasn't dry at night until 2.5 years old. I tried diaper free nights at 2 years, but she would wet the bed about 50% of the time. Like you, I would stress out about whether she was rousing to pee or not and I even started taking her to the potty around the time I thought she generally needed to pee to try and prevent her wetting the bed. This was just disruptive and more work for me. We got advice to limit her liquid intake 2-3 hours prior to bedtime, but this seemed unhealthy. She likes to drink a lot of water! So we put a diaper back on her. After another 6 months or so, she was consistently dry at night and just a few months after that she started rousing herself to use the potty if she needed to (like when she has a cough and drinks even more water than usual). I think it's just a natural process they have to grow into and every kid is different.

[riboflavin]

We EC'e since 5 weeks and my son was out of trainers by 2.5, but he also still night time wets at 3.5 years old. We just use a trainer at night and not worry about it right now. I am just really happy that he finally sleeps through the night!! (That didn't happen until he was 3!) I would not wake up to pee him unless he wanted it. Or if it was disrupting his sleep to be wet. We actually used to night time EC for a while. At the time, it was needed. He could not sleep if he had to go and would roll around and fidget until he went. So it helped everyone sleep better if I quickly EC'd him in bed. Eventually, he started to not like night time EC, and could sleep through wet trainers, so we stopped.

My DS eats and drinks a ton from the moment he wakes up until the second he falls asleep. So I figure he won't stop night time wetting until he starts to eat and drink less before bed. That is not something I want to limit right now because he is a healthy, super energetic growing boy! So maybe your son is eating and drinking a lot too, or has a smaller bladder than some. Although as our doctor told us today, she said it was normal for night wetting to stop as late as 7 years old!

My other son was out of night time dipes by 2.5, but we lived in a really hot climate then, so I think that helped. He probably sweat a lot out at night instead.

Good luck on your journey! Don't blame yourself for not sticking with night time EC. Your son may have started to not want it at some point anyway. And from a former sleep deprived mom, enjoy your sleep if you can get it!

[mexicali mami]

Thanks everyone...I guess it's still well within the "normal" range and I will try to be more aware of his need to go. Coincidentally, after I wrote that post we've had nothing but dry nights. I agree that it would be ideal to put him down earlier and then offer to pee around 10 or 11. He absolutely refuses to wear a diaper and prides himself on being a big boy so I can keep a towel by the bed in case it's needed. I appreciate your responses..aloha.

[sgmom]

I didn't reply earlier because I didn't have any advice to offer, but it just occurred to me that bedwetting can often be helped with chiropractic adjustments (if it hasn't already been mentioned).

Something to think about.