Feeling like I really messed up by HSing - long!

[Mama~Love]

I'm seriously considering putting the girls (ages 8 & 6) in school this fall. I feel I've really messed up by even trying to HS them.

They seem so far behind what their peers would be doing at school. Like this year (so far), DD#1 (8) has been doing 1st grade math (Singapore 1A & 1B) & grammar (Growing With Grammar). We've only briefly touched science & social studies. Her reading is way above average - like 4th grade level.

DD#2 (6) is doing basic K stuff, and I feel she's a lot smarter than I give her credit for, and I don't think I'm challenging her enough. She's loving the Explode the Code, and can sound out any word she comes across, so she is reading already, basically self-taught.

I think I'm just losing confidence in my abilities to do this. Add to this that I've been working full-time in the evenings from 2pm-10pm since December, and lately it's been overtime til 11pm. I'm exhausted. I just had a miscarriage as well. I'm not fully recovered from that either.

I just don't know what to do. DH was hoping to get a promotion at work, but they gave it to someone else. I would've been able to quit working & be a SAHM again. I was really upset about that; I was counting on it too much.

Sorry for the long & rambling post. This is mainly about HSing. I started looking into curriculum for next year, and was feeling overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. I want to keep working with the girls over the summer, so maybe in the fall DD#1 will be up where she's supposed to be (at 3rd grade level).

They haven't complained about any of what we're using so far; they all like the books & workbooks. I also have a problem with organization & time management. I dread HSing sometimes; it seems so boring to me most of the time. I'd rather be doing something else, like the laundry or dishes, that's how bad it feels to me sometimes.

Thanks for reading if you got this far. This might be more of a vent than anything.

[lach]

How is your local school district? Homeschooling isn't for every family, and there's nothing wrong with that. You don't sound particularly happy with the current situation, so there's nothing wrong with going a different course. If school doesn't work out, you can always pull them out. There's nothing wrong with that, either.

[jlpumkin]

to you momma! You have had a lot on your plate and you should be praised for getting as far as you have. I can't speak to what decisions you should make, totally personal and I know that you'll make the right decision for your family right now. BUT I would like to speak to grade level. This is something that really is a sticking point in our family. My dd is advanced in reading and struggling in math as well (I think it is totally normal but that's for another post). The important part is that when we teach math we teach it until they know it. We don't just hope that they catch it the next time around like what must happen in a classroom environment to get everyone carrying forward. Children in 2d grade are at all levels. Our children may not be at the same level as the top math performers... BUT we know that what they've done they actually know. And that gives them a solid foundation. - Unlike the children in the class that didn't get it at all the first time around and noone has noticed yet. I'm sure your child will fall somewhere in between ~ with everyone else. So don't sweat too much about school if that ends up being your decision. Good luck to you!

[mommajb]

Homeschooling doesn't always look like we think it should or go like we want it to go.

[Mama~Love]

Originally Posted by lach

How is your local school district? Homeschooling isn't for every family, and there's nothing wrong with that. You don't sound particularly happy with the current situation, so there's nothing wrong with going a different course. If school doesn't work out, you can always pull them out. There's nothing wrong with that, either.

The school is fine; my boys go there. One of my biggest worries of the girls going to school is them being behind everyone else, and then me looking like a failure to the teachers for not doing it right. I'd hate for them to be put in a grade behind where they should be.

I'd also feel like a failure to my friends who are all HSing too. They seem to be so confident in what they're doing, and then I feel really lazy for not doing more with my kids.

Originally Posted by jlpumkin

to you momma! You have had a lot on your plate and you should be praised for getting as far as you have. I can't speak to what decisions you should make, totally personal and I know that you'll make the right decision for your family right now. BUT I would like to speak to grade level. This is something that really is a sticking point in our family. My dd is advanced in reading and struggling in math as well (I think it is totally normal but that's for another post). The important part is that when we teach math we teach it until they know it. We don't just hope that they catch it the next time around like what must happen in a classroom environment to get everyone carrying forward. Children in 2d grade are at all levels. Our children may not be at the same level as the top math performers... BUT we know that what they've done they actually know. And that gives them a solid foundation. - Unlike the children in the class that didn't get it at all the first time around and noone has noticed yet. I'm sure your child will fall somewhere in between ~ with everyone else. So don't sweat too much about school if that ends up being your decision. Good luck to you!

Thank you! I needed to hear that it's OK if they aren't at grade level. We do the same thing with teaching til they know it, which is why we haven't got past the 1st level of math yet.

I wish I could talk to DH about this, as he thinks they should go to school. I'd just get a big "I told you so" out of him if I decide to put them in school. I really have no support with this. Our HSing groups meet at the times I work, so we haven't been able to go to any meetings since I started working, and DH won't bring them since it's all my friends & their kids.

I do have a lot going on, and need to really prioritize things. I have a lot of thinking to do.

[lovingthis]

It is overwhelming ! You're allowed to feel this way ! You say that you feel you aren't challenging your girls enough/ they aren't academically where their peers are at. That's academics; what about their other areas of development? Are they progressing socially, spiritually, etc? Do you feel like those areas would be benefitting more if they were in public school ? You obviously didn't do this for simple education reasons- you were thinking about your children as whole beings, and you should consider how they are developing in that way. If they are developing the love to learn , and they are obviously doing well with reading, then the benchmarks and peer comparisons really don't matter- they have the rest of their lives to learn the facts, so to speak.
As far as academics, if you really are concerned about where your girls are at compared to others and such, it sounds like you need some guidance as far as standards and benchmarks. I know that there are homeschoolers that don't worry about those things, and that's perfectly fine too, but if their progress is stressing you out, looking to the state standards might help you out.
I'm not sure about your state, but many states have sites for teachers that list all of the standards, benchmarks, and objectives for students at each grade level. Finding those for your state could help give you an idea of where your girls really are at, where you want to get them to, etc. IXL math is a great site; you do have to pay for it, but they allow 20 free problems each day if you don't want to. Basically, if you go on there, you can go to a section for your state, your child's specific grade, and it has computer exercises that are designed to support state standards for that level. It could be good practice, or a good way to assess what your kids actually understand (for your benefit). Some things like that might help you make a decision on appropriate curriculums.
Another option that I have considered for myself actually is that a lot of districts are offering public school online. In the right situation this could kind of be your best of both worlds- you would have teacher guidance and curriculum, but you would still be the one in charge, still have them with you. It might give you some ideas about how you would like to run your own HS program, almost like HS training wheels I've known some families that started that way, and are now making the swith to total HS, or vice versa.
In the end, don't worry about what anyone else thinks; if that's feeling judged about deciding not to homeschool, or feeling judged that your kids don't perform the way other their age do. In your gut, you know what is best for their whole beings. You've got this Mama !

[elizawill]

if you chose to utilize public school, your kids would be totally & completely fine. no worries! they are both reading well & that's the only real obstacle. they will easily catch up to their peers with no issues whatsoever.

now, having said that, i think you should only utilize public school because that's really what you want to do. you are NOT a failure. my daughter is behind her public school peers in writing, but it's no big deal at all. like your daughter, she read fabulous, but is behind in writing. it's not something she is required to do a lot of though, so her being behind is kind of expected, ykwim? next year, i plan to make writing the focus of her learning & i have no doubt that she will not only catch up, but eventually surpass her PS peers.

you've been through an awful lot with a miscarriage and a heavy workload, so just weigh out your pros and cons. whatever you decide doesn't have to be a permanent decision. you can choose to give it one more year and see how it goes, or you can send them to PS for a year while you take some time to yourself. you have the freedom to always change things. no worries, mama.

hugs!!

[Mama~Love]

Thank you! They are developing normally in the other areas. My 8 yr old is very mature for her age, and handles social situations with ease. My 6 yr old is a bit more timid & shy, but is not hesitant at all around other kids. They do get out & socialize, so they're not cooped up in the house all the time.

I think a scope & sequence would be very helpful to see where they're at. I think *I* need more guidance than anything.

Thanks for the great ideas. i will be using them.

[2sweetboysmom]

I just want to encourage you on the math thing...
Last year our homeschooling was HORRID! I went through 2 (very sick) 1st trimesters only to loose the babies in the early weeks of the 2nd tri, hemorrhage, and be anemic for weeks. Consequently it took nearly 2 years for my eldest to get through his Horizons level 1 math books. It was not for lack of intelligence on his part, but lack of teaching consistency on my part.
In January 2010, I had him do some academic testing with a LD specialist to determine the extent of his dyslexia (still not finished with level 1 math) His math skills tested at graduating 2nd/entry 3rd grade!!!...Some curriculums chosen by home school and PS teaches are WAY above the average in terms of what they expect a child to know/be able to do at a particular level.
Not one moment of your effort or time homeschooling (or one moment of conversation in unschooling) has ever been wasted, or ever will be. You have to this point taught your girls in the way you felt called and believed was best for them. Don't second guess, that time was not wasted. Just continue choosing what you think is best for them!

[Mama~Love]

Originally Posted by 2sweetboysmom

I just want to encourage you on the math thing...
Last year our homeschooling was HORRID! I went through 2 (very sick) 1st trimesters only to loose the babies in the early weeks of the 2nd tri, hemorrhage, and be anemic for weeks. Consequently it took nearly 2 years for my eldest to get through his Horizons level 1 math books. It was not for lack of intelligence on his part, but lack of teaching consistency on my part.
In January 2010, I had him do some academic testing with a LD specialist to determine the extent of his dyslexia (still not finished with level 1 math) His math skills tested at graduating 2nd/entry 3rd grade!!!...Some curriculums chosen by home school and PS teaches are WAY above the average in terms of what they expect a child to know/be able to do at a particular level.
Not one moment of your effort or time homeschooling (or one moment of conversation in unschooling) has ever been wasted, or ever will be. You have to this point taught your girls in the way you felt called and believed was best for them. Don't second guess, that time was not wasted. Just continue choosing what you think is best for them!

I am so sorry you had such a rough time last year . Thank you for the encouragement, I really needed it!