weaning and co-sleeping - can you have one without the other?

[herdingkittens]

Ok, I am back for some help from the wise MOMs here!

So, my boys are still nursing many many many times a day and sometimes they wake for a snack and first thing in the morning (also fall asleep nursing for naps and bedtime!!!). I FINALLY got my cycles back this month, and it must be a shift in hormones because for the first time, all this nursing is making me nutty! Plus they are getting a bit crazy physi cally while nursing. I think I am ready to wean, but have never weaned (mine always stopped by themselves), so I am a little nervous. I'd wait for them to self-wean, but I am not sure that will ever happen!!

Here's the twist - my husband is betting they won't be able to stop unless they are out of our bed (however, neither of us minds them being there). Can/should you wean while ending the co-sleeping or do one at a time. I am worried it will be too much change for them, or is it better to do it "off-like-a-band-aid" style?

Anyone do this successfully and not lose their minds. I am not really in the mood for a big ordeal.

thanks a million!!!!

[provocativa]

i think 2 is too young to wean but- the first step regardless is to pop whomever off the breast the minute they do something annoying. i say to my 3 year old- we do not kick and nurse, we do not tickle and nurse (her two big annoying nursing habits. she's like the rockettes). the next step is moving on to nightweaning, we do not nurse at night. breasts go to sleep, just like mama's eyes, and little boys. i found that a simple sentence that could ring in my daughters' heads (hence the 'we do not nurse' phrase) helped, because it was easy for her to recognize in her sleep and in times of frustration, when kick-nursing was a habit. my eldest self-weaned and continued to co-sleep, but she was over 4. another way i got mine to nurse less when i was nursing 2 was to eat way way way more fat, and take a lecithin supplement, to get more of the fat in my breastmilk. the books 'how weaning happens' and 'the no cry sleep solution' are also helpful.

[4Marmalade]

We have nightweaned our twins and we continue to co-sleep so it is possible. We've actually nightweaned twice. The first time they were about 15 months old and they nightweaned very easily by continuing to sleep with dh while I slept in ds1's room. It took quite a few weeks (maybe even a month or two) before I was able to get back into the bed without them asking to nurse all night again. Then they both got sick and we went back to night nursing for a while. Just recently when they were about 22 months old I took nightweaning upon myself as they were having an aversion to dh and I knew they would not like him in hte middle of the night. I also wanted to avoid the long process of me getting back into the family bed. It took a few nights but really they did not get too upset. They squirmed and fussed but went back to sleep quite readily. They now nurse before bed around 6:30pm and then wake up around 5am to nurse again. They also nurse before their nap.

I have never fully weaned a 2 year old so not sure I can help you there but I do set limits. With my singleton's I was able to nurse more often and never really limited them but I find that I am not emotionally able to sit down and tandem nurse my twins more than 3-4x/day. It just becomes too much for me.

I think that you would be able to wean and continue to cosleep. It sounds like your twins are sleeping through the night anyways right? I just reread your post so you might just disregard the beginning of my reply .

[herdingkittens]

OK, I have to admit, when I read your reply, provocativa, my first reaction was to bristle a bit about your not thinking it would be wise to wean (yes, I was quite "hormonal" that day ). After all, I was NOT enjoying nursing them for the last few days.

However, I did take the advice about setting limits. I actually found myself telling the boys that "mama's breasts were going to sleep, now!" in a perky voice, while thinking, mind you, "yeah right, this will never work - these guys love to nurse WAY too much!!" Much to my GREAT surprise, they said, "okay" and cuddled up and fell asleep within 5-10 minutes!!!! WHAT?!?!?! Seriously, I was baffled!!!! I thought for sure they would be screaming and tearing at my shirt!!! Last night, I tried the same thing, thinking the night before was some bizarro fluke, and low and behold - IT WORKED AGAIN!!! Crazyness!

NOW, let me just say, that I am enjoying nursing again!!! My others weaned themselves at earlier ages, so I never hit the point where I needed to set any limits, and it was JUST what we all needed! I dare say, they seem a little relieved too! Plus, one actually cuddled up with Daddy!! So cute!!!

Thank you for your frank advice (and to you, Marmelade as well!! ). Spending the last two days thinking about weaning actually made notice all the things I would miss (and certainly what the boys would miss, too!!!!! )

Yay!

[Julia'sMom]

Congrats on getting it to work, HerdingKittens! I was just going to say that we did the same thing with DD1. I nightweaned her by saying the nursies were sleeping until Daddy's music played (alarm went off). It took less than a week for her to learn and we did continue to co=sleep. I haven't gotten that far with teh twins (their only 6mo now).

[DeerMother]

herdingkittens, this doesn't answer your original question, but I got af back pretty early (6 mos pp despite exclusive nursing) and I HATED nursing just before and for the first few days of my period. Not only were my nipples sensitive, I just didn't like it.

Original question, you may have to leave the bed for a few nights. For my twins, nightweaning was much less of a process and drama than I thought it was going to be. And their dad had to be 100% committed to night care for several nights.