Someone please explain what I am doing wrong

[khaoskat]

DS2 is driving me nuts (ok, not a long journey these days while dealing with a newborn - 9 days ago)...

Why can the school send him, solo everyday, from his classroom to the far other end of the building where the office is with attendance...and not have an issue with him getting into things or into trouble...

But I can not send him to some place as simple as the bathroom at home 50-75% of the time without adult supervision, otherwise he is into everything and making "experiments". His experiments are basically mixing water with soap, or toothpaste, or whatever...but it usually ends up being a mess for me or DH to clean up....

So, what am I doing wrong....why can he do this huge thing at school, but at home we usually have to go up with him ....

And, these are the types of things we (or rather I) forgot to tell or mention at the Dev. Ped eval last week...what I keep remembering that I forgot because of sleep deprivation....

[sapphire_chan]

No toothpaste in school? Example of his peers in school?

Because, and this is my serious guess, he knows that YOU will still like him if he explores and experiments and he doesn't know that other adults will. So being more mischievous at home is actually a sign that you're a good parent. Congratulations?

[CarrieMF]

at school the consequences are much bigger for him than at home. At home he can make these messes and doesn't have to clean it up. That is the first thing I"d change, have HIM clean it up instead of you or dh doing it.

Also, at school taking attendance to the office is a job to do. A job that most kids love to do & is seen as a reward to them.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

Also, at school taking attendance to the office is a job to do. A job that most kids love to do & is seen as a reward to them.

yes, and if he messes around he won't get to do it again, but no matter how big of mess he makes in the bathroom, you'll let him go pee again.

[LynnS6]

Why do you think school hallways are mostly bare?

The only thing you're doing 'wrong' is living in a home with lots of cool stuff and getting your kid after he's had a whole day of working hard to regulate himself.

Has he got an area where he can do sensory play? This place actually sells "youth" sized sensory tables that are taller than the ones used for toddlers (they're 24" high vs. 18"). http://www.sensoryedge.com/sandwater.html You could also probably set up an area where he can do that with just dish pans and old table and some sturdy waterproofing underneath.

[khaoskat]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

yes, and if he messes around he won't get to do it again, but no matter how big of mess he makes in the bathroom, you'll let him go pee again.

Ok, you got me laughing at that one..although I swear at times I will make him hold it for the rest of his life...

[khaoskat]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

Why do you think school hallways are mostly bare?

The only thing you're doing 'wrong' is living in a home with lots of cool stuff and getting your kid after he's had a whole day of working hard to regulate himself.

Has he got an area where he can do sensory play?

That is true on the hallways, the only thing in them are really things hanging on the walls.

I am just partially frustrated with the fact that I mention XYZ to the school, and the IEP program teacher is like "really, we don't see that here". It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. But yet, in their MFE report, they state that XYZ has occurred at school as the worst behavior exhibited, but they have not seen it in a few months. I honestly do not know how the IEP program teacher can keep track of 13+ kids, with 1/2 of them special needs that are between 3-5 years of age.

I don't have any area for sensory play...right now I don't even have room in my house for them to play hardly any more..6 people (4 kids - ages newborn to 7 years - and 2 adults in an 1200 square foot house). Now that it is warmer out, we can start going outside and doing more stuff.

And the worst part is...it is the things like this that I totally forgot to tell the Dev. Ped when we had or eval. *sigh*.