De Becker's "Gift of Fear" question for those who've read it...

[journeymom]

First, I have not read this book yet. However, I've heard so many good reviews of it, I probably will sometime. I remember hearing the author interviewed on npr ages ago.

If I understand correctly, the idea is to trust your intuitions rather than push them away with fallible "logic". So I have two questions for those of you who have read it.

1) Do you think differently now, having read it? Did it really change the way you think?

2) Has it reduced or increased how much you worry or are fearful? Or you haven't changed at all how much you worry?

[pamamidwife]

duplicate

[pamamidwife]

1) Yes, I think differently. Most importantly, I parent differently. Gone are the warnings about "stranger danger" and I feel more aware of my surroundings

2) It has greatly reduced my fear. My fear, I realized, was based on the media and it's overblowing of stranger rape, stranger abduction and murder. Being made aware of my own safety mechanism (intuition) and learning to hear it has made me realize that the fear I felt before was my inability to hear this intuition.

[Viola]

I do think differently now. I read it 5 years ago, but there are times when I get really nervous and I stop and ask myself is there something behind my fear, or is it just needless worry.

[LunaMom]

Great questions...

1) Yes, I think differently. I am no longer concerned with being polite to strangers in situations that make me uncomfortable. It also made me realize that what is called "random violence" is rarely random at all - violent acts are almost always preceded (sp?) by warning signs of some sort.

2) Because of that, I feel safer than I did before. Knowing what to look for makes me feel empowered and more in control of my own safety. Even though there are some scary stories in his book, De becker makes it clear that in each situation, there were very clear signals of danger that the victim chose to ignore.

And that's really it - CHOSE to ignore. You know, those times when you take a shortcut through a park at dusk, start to feel uneasy, but instead of turning around and leaving the park, you rationalize it to yourself and keep going. I never ignore my instincts anymore, and I know I used to do exactly that.

[anothermama]

For me, no....it doesn't change the way I think or make me more or less fearfull BUT thats just because I was already a VERY instictive person in the first place. For me, it gave me some concrete reasons to say to people why I do the things I do and just gave me that little pat on the back to say "See? You DO know what you're talking about!".

[journeymom]

Thank you, all! I kind of wondered if reading it would just make me more anxious than ever. Which I can do without. Sounds like a great book.

[JanB]

I agree that it's made me more likely to listen to my instincts when I'm feeling nervous about a situation. Like if I'm going to the mall at night, I will go ahead and circle around until I find a parking spot that is well-lit and closer to the mall, rather than parking out farther where I feel a little more nervous and uncomfortable.

I'm also always sure to lock the doors before going to bed, which I never used to do.

[Bippity]

Geez - sounds like I have to add this to my Amazon wish list!