3 yo getting mad everytime Mom has to do something else

[COgirl19]

I don't know what to do.

My DD just turned 3 last month. Right now she is getting mad when I have to do ANYTHING that doesn't involve her. We woke up and played and cuddled together this morning but then I had to make breakfast (pregnant and starving) and she SCREAMED and cried just because I needed to eat something. Offering to sit her on the counter and help me fix breakfast didn't work at all.

If I have to get up from playtime to do anything such as get the laundry, use the bathroom or whatever she gets mad. She has been AP parented from birth and we are always hugging and cuddling and giving kisses so I don't think she feels unloved or anything, I think she is just getting defiant. Because not only does she get mad, she yells at me and tries to tell me what to do which is NOT ok with me.

It could be that we have a new one on the way in August, I don't know. Either way, mommy has needs too like eating and using the toilet!
So what are some good gentle solutions with this?

[fiddlefern]

Sorry your daughter is having such a hard time, and you as you watch her struggle!

#1. This is good practice for both of you.

You are about to have a new one, and you just AREN'T going to be able to meet all of her wants every moment. I really like the chapter in Becoming The Parent You Want To Be about working towards a balance of needs. Everyone in the family has needs, everyone's needs are important- including yours! (and the new baby's).

#2. She's allowed to have her feelings.

I think sometimes it's easy for those of us who do attachment parenting and respond to our children, to fall into the trap of thinking that our kids are supposed to be happy all of the time, or that we're responsible for our children's feelings. Perhaps, as you're making breakfast and she's crying/ yelling, you can give her a hug, and then go about your work while reflecting back. "It sounds like you're really (sad/ angry/ fill-in-the-blank). It must be hard to ......." Let her express her feelings. When done you're cooking, you can invite her to sit next to you and share some food, and reconnect physically.

I know it's easier said than done- this is my perfect world response, not the one I always take.