I just cant stand it anymore!

[Melly24]

DD is 27 months and I am 19 weeks pregnant. She nurses about 3 -4 times a day. About 2 of those, I just can't stand anymore! All I can feel is teeth and it hurts and makes my skin crawl and its just. yuck. I would be so happy if she just nursed once a day. I could do one session.

But I'm afraid that if I try and cut out two of the sessions I cant stand (first morning and before bed at night) that will lead her to wean completely. I dont want that at all! I would love to tandem nurse as I'm having a winter babe and the immunological effects are a big plus, as well as the bonding, relief of engorgement and all the other goodies. She's also dairy allergic so I wanted her to have all the mama milk she wanted.

So, does this sound feasible? There's bound to be other mama's who've BTDT. I just cant get down in words exactly how it makes me feel. It's unlike any feeling I've ever had. And it feels horrible feeling that way towards her

There's also a chance that if she does wean, she'll come back to it once the new babe is here, right? Who has experienced that?

Thanks!

[sarmis35]

I just weaned my dd who is 3 years old. I am 34 weeks pregnant. I know just exactly the feeling you described and it is really indescribable. Only someone who has felt that would know what you mean. I feel badly about the weaning but it was my only choice. Unfortunately, my dd is still asking for it mostly when she is trying to sleep. She has never really learned how to sleep without nursing so is learning that now I guess. It is a difficult time. I miss nursing her and she surely misses it too. For us, I am hoping she doesn't want it anymore once the baby is born. But I have heard of toddlers starting back up. I don't really know what is going to happen. I hope it gets easier for her in general. Not much advice, just wanted to commiserate with you about being pregnant and nursing. Hope it works out the way you want it to. Hang in there.

[Otterella]

I've been there and I know it's a horrible place to be. You need to give yourself permission to do what's right for your relationship with your daughter. If that means continuing, then continue. But if it means weaning (at least temporarily), then you need to let yourself let go so you can do that. I recommend reading Adventures in Tandem Nursing. It's really wonderful about helping mothers accept their own decisions about the nursing relationship during pregnancy. It helped me give myself permission to temporarily wean at around 6 months pregnant. I was at the point where the negative emotions that rose up when I was nursing were hurting our relationship far more than the intimacy of nursing was helping it. After my DD was born, I would pump a couple of ounces for DS when I needed engorgement relief. He would ask for more, and I told him that was all I could pump but if he wanted more he could nurse. He started nursing again and I tandem nursed up to the last month or two; now he seems to be pretty much finished. But if he hadn't chosen or remembered how to start nursing again too, that would have been okay. Heartbreaking for me, but okay for us.

[Everythingirl1]

I know exactly how you feel- it was more pronounced for me after a night of very little sleep due to BF every two to three hours if DS was fitful or sick (this is at 2 and 2.5 years old!). My plan was always to wean one way or the other by age 3, so around 2.5 years old I started to gently say that 'nummies' are for nighttime only. If DS asked for it during morning or afternoon or even after a boo-boo/injury - i would redirect with chocolate milk or something equally sweet as breastmilk and i would give DS lots of attention, kisses and hugs. it worked. he now only gets nummies at nighttime. he turned 3 y/o 2 weeks ago and it seemed he had no interest in weaning completely - altho all he does now at night is take a few sucks and then fall asleep - maybe 2-3 mins max. My father and husband have started to say that he is a big boy and nummies are for little baby boys (which does break my heart BTW)- at first he would vacillate stating at the appropriate time that he was a big boy and then say he was a little baby boy when it was time for nummies. But, he has gently started to nurse less and less. Last night he just did one suckle and then turned over and fell asleep.

Its true- it s heartbreaking to stop nursing. I never thought I would feel that way when I was sleep deprived at month 8 or 9...but I stuck through it and it has been the best in the world. He has had different colds and tummy virus when he started pre-school at age 2.5 but he has never had an ear infection (wow). He did start with eczema at age 2 on his arms- still can't figure out what that is from but dad is allergic so maybe that is where it is from. Other than that he is healthy, happy and very, very kind. High emotional IQ which I credit to breastfeeding and family bed...

So, I would just recommend you do BF at nightime - once a day. That should keep your child happy and YOU happy! Best of luck and big hug!!!!

[featherstory]

Thank you Otterella for sharing your experience.

I had a really tough first trimester and I have one of those babies who has been a heavy nurser from the start... she was 2.5 when I started feeling icky about nursing her, it was not at all that I wanted to stop, but physically, mentally and emotionally it didn't feel good any longer. One day DH and dd went to visit his family without me, they stayed a few days, and she went her first few days w/o BF, well she never did again. After awhile, I realized I really needed to regain my strength and sanity for this birth so I did that, but when I got well I wanted her to nurse again, but she doesn't remember how.

These days she occassionally asks and spends about a second on each breast once every few days. I still feel icky if she gets that clingy overly sensitive thing and starts claiming my breasts as her own, I get very sensitive to that, but I do dream of being able to offer her BM when the new baby comes. I don't know if I'll be able to tandem nurse, but I want to at least offer her milk in a cup daily, once the milk comes in. I was about 19 weeks when she weaned as well, she was 30 mos. and now I am almost 30 weeks pregnant.

[Melly24]

Thanks for sharing everyone. She hasnt had any nums now for a week. She just went a couple of days without asking at all so I just rolled with it. She has asked to nurse about 3 times in the last week, mostly when she's tired, but will gladly accept a big big BIG cuddle instead (her words )

It's bittersweet. I'm a lot sadder than I though I'd be, but I'm really enjoying still having cuddles and the closeness that brings without the pain and horrible feelings.

She tells me that nums are for the baby, but one breast is still for her. I said that once the baby comes she can have nums again if she wants and she seemed quite excited by that.

I always thought I'd tandem nurse. I never thought I would resent nursing. But things and feelings change and we'll go with whatever happens. What will be, will be.

Thanks all!