a week ago and I was so busy with all of her funeral proceedings and visiting my family out of state that I was too busy and shocked to grieve as much and now its hitting me. she was only 46 she would have been 47 on the 29th...she was younger when she had me and our relationship was complicated through the years but we were close and I loved her more than anything. I miss her so much, my heart hurts so bad. She just visited me a month ago and had her first and last pics taken with some of my children...we are a military family so we didnt get to visit with them much. I dont know what I am going to do without her calling me all the time and talking to her. this is so sad and so hard. I miss her so much. 
