Going to the park with daddy.

[sapphire_chan]

Oh how I wish it were easier to get her to do that. She loves it once they're on the way there, but such yelling and carrying on to get out the door.

Add in the car seat troubles and no wonder I haven't had time alone at home in months.

Time alone out is NOT the same thing.

[sapphire_chan]

The trip was a success! She bonked her lip and was fine without nursing. When they got home, she told me all about her adventures (okay she told me about holding onto her shoes ) and asked for an apple.

Now, if only there were some way to convince her that she'll have fun when she gets there and avoid the fight to get into the car seat.

[marispel]

What about getting a new book or toy for the car only? My DS loves to look at books while in the car, so that is a big hit. We also do snacks in the car - he has a little cup with a slit type lid that he can pull the snacks out. He loves it. Sometime we do fun snacks that he gets on occassion, so that makes it special.

[limabean]

I'm glad she had fun!

I so know what you mean about time alone at home -- it's the best, and it's so rare and precious. My sweet DH is fine with me going out whenever I want, and I appreciate it tremendously, but it's just not the same as being home alone.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by marispel

What about getting a new book or toy for the car only? My DS loves to look at books while in the car, so that is a big hit. We also do snacks in the car - he has a little cup with a slit type lid that he can pull the snacks out. He loves it. Sometime we do fun snacks that he gets on occassion, so that makes it special.

That used to work. Nowadays she'll take the special snack, hold it firmly in one hand and shove me away with the other.

The worst of it is she is totally fine within 30 seconds of starting to drive. And I don't mean just quiet and resigned, I mean babbling away to her stuffed bunny and singing songs to herself (and, at the end of the drive, rebuckling her chest clip and telling us "bye bye")

She doesn't hate the carseat, she just hates getting into her carseat.

It's like we say "get in your carseat and then we'll drive to awesome place and do fun things" (store and buy bananas, park and swing, friends' house and see kids, etc etc etc) and she always hears "get in your carseat and then you will be bitten by rabid wildebeests who think your clothes are ugly."

In fact, for quite a lot of "do X and then we'll do Y" I think she hears "you will be bitten by rabid wildebeests..."

I hope she grows out of it and that it's just a symptom of toddlers being froot loops.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by limabean

I'm glad she had fun!

I so know what you mean about time alone at home -- it's the best, and it's so rare and precious. My sweet DH is fine with me going out whenever I want, and I appreciate it tremendously, but it's just not the same as being home alone.

I'd like going out alone more if we had the money. Y'know, like for a massage or the bookstore?

[gagin37]

ds started resisting less when i let him climb up into the seat on his own. He trundles to the car, waits for me to get the door, then clambers up, no fuss usually. he will give us a hard time if he doesn't want to leave a fun play date or if he's over tired from too many errands.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by gagin37

ds started resisting less when i let him climb up into the seat on his own. He trundles to the car, waits for me to get the door, then clambers up, no fuss usually. he will give us a hard time if he doesn't want to leave a fun play date or if he's over tired from too many errands.

Waiting for her to climb into the car seat herself gives me enough time to finish 3 chapters in a novel. (Okay I am a fast reader, but still...)

It isn't every time that she resists the car seat, but there doesn't seem to be any consistent pattern. She'll happily hop up into her seat as we take our leave from friends, and fight it ferociously when it was her idea to go to the park. (Toddler froot loop moment #3471 "Swing??" "okay, let's hop in the car and go to the park" "Car! Park! Swing!" "yep, we're going to drive in the car and go to the park and swing, okay, hop up into your carseat" "NoooooOO!!!!!!!!!")

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

(Toddler froot loop moment #3471 "Swing??" "okay, let's hop in the car and go to the park" "Car! Park! Swing!" "yep, we're going to drive in the car and go to the park and swing, okay, hop up into your carseat" "NoooooOO!!!!!!!!!")

We must never allow our children to meet. They could teach each other SO many things.

Me: "You want to take the dog swimming?"
DS: "Loki swimming in the pond!"
Me: "OK, put your rubber boots on so we can go take Loki swimming!"
DS: "Boots on to take Loki swimming!" *joyfully runs in circles*
Me: *mama hands toddler boots* Here they are. Put them on.
DS: "NO! NO BOOTS! ONLY SOCKS!"

[sapphire_chan]

Nah, they'd have so much fun talking to each other that as long as we made sure there weren't any busy roads, cliffs, or piles of dog poop we could sit and have a lovely chat about anything except toddlers!

Isn't it lovely to know that our kids are normal?

[LCBMAX]

When my son couldn't leave peacefully with daddy, but could wander outside the house or go into daddy's office peacefully, we did this:
I got busy doing something boring.
Daddy got interesting.
Boy went with daddy.
Mid-stride, without checking in with me again, daddy would present the fun adventure and just GO.

I had to get over my assumption that we need clear expectations for every transition in real time. Actually he didn't, and it made it harder.

Instead, I would incidentally say a half hour or more earlier - "You know, when you go on adventures with daddy you have so much fun. And mama's always home waiting to see you when you get back. When I'm home I do boring things like laundry, and I love knowing that you are having fun with daddy. If you go to the park with daddy, be sure to tell me later who is there/ what you do/ if there's a dog." And then on to playing train, eating, nursing, whatever. Then I began being boring and Daddy arrived in some sparkly manner, and they would go outside to water the plants or something foolproof. The car was already loaded and ready to go. Once boyo's attention is fully with Daddy, the next transition seemed to go quite well. No looking back. Daddy would sometimes have to say, "Well, since mama's doing laundry (blech!) why don't we go have fun?!"

Option B was that we all got in the car, and I got out at the bookstore while they continued on to the park. It was fun for my son to see me go into the building, and then to pick me up in the exact same place later. Being able to visualize where mama is seems to help a lot.

Nowadays I have to run after them to get a distracted kiss goodbye, ah joy, and as long as Daddy give him accurate info about whether I'll be home upon return, and what I am doing, my son is great. He loves to confirm out loud, "Mama is getting broccoli!"

Wishing you big freedom, sister!

[sapphire_chan]

That's a great idea.

: she seems to be past the not wanting to leave with Daddy stage, she just gets equally mad at either of us over getting in the carseat. (And frequently wants BOTH of us to go do things.)

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Nah, they'd have so much fun talking to each other that as long as we made sure there weren't any busy roads, cliffs, or piles of dog poop we could sit and have a lovely chat about anything except toddlers!

Isn't it lovely to know that our kids are normal?

Yes, yes it is. I was just today wondering, "I wonder if anyone else's toddler simultaneously refuses to eat his/her plate of food AND refuses to allow anyone else to eat it?" And then I remembered this thread and though, "yeah, probably."