Social Delays

[jnet24]

OKay, so my DS is almost three and a half. I have been questioning his social skills for awhile now. His sister is 18 months and I keep seeing things she does and I really don't remember him doing them. Also I filed out a ASQ on social and emotional skills, and was really surprised at how many things I answered rarely to. When I talked to his teacher she completely dismissed my feelings and said I was just worrying too much and that he was completely fine, and scored "well within the normal limits," though the online version came back that he needed furthur evaluation.

Any ways I recieved his progress report today. He has mastered all 3 year old skills in gross motor, cognitive, fine motor, adaptive, and communication. Except for "speaking in a group" and "using two hands to manipulate objects each hand performing different movements." Those he scored Emerging, which is 25-49% of of the time. Now in the area of social emotional he only mastered "making choices" and carries out 1 step directions." All the rest of the skills were marked emerging. The skills were serperating from home\transitions, plays beside 1 or 2 friends, intiates social behavior, respond to other in need, taking turns, and identifies own feelings.

So the teacher said he was fine and was completely dismissive of my thoughts and then marked them all emerging, which I agree with and maybe even a bit lower. How could he have scored in the typical range then? The test was from 36-41 months, so he is at the tail end of the age group. I am also wondering why he has mastered all other areas, and is clearly struggling socially? What can cause that? What other things should I consider looking into? He has a phonological speech delay, could that completely cause only problems socially?? Or is it something else?

[kavamamakava]

One thing to remember is that girls are often more socially mature than boys of the same age. So comparing your son to your daughter won't give you much information. If you are concerned about Autism Spectrum Disorders, they generally include some delays in one or more of these areas: "He has mastered all 3 year old skills in gross motor, cognitive, fine motor, adaptive, and communication"
There are ways to work on social skills if you are concerned. Here is an excellent resource http://socialthinking.com/

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by jnet24

When I talked to his teacher she completely dismissed my feelings and said I was just worrying too much and that he was completely fine,

teachers are not qualified to dx and it really isn't fair to your children to compare them.

I am also wondering why he has mastered all other areas, and is clearly struggling socially?

In what specifc ways is he struggling?

Different kids have different strengths and weakness, and things click at slightly different ages. Most of the time, it doesn't mean a thing. If there are a lot of red flags, then doctor specializing is developmental issues is your best resource.

Social delays are common in kids with autism, but they usually have all sorts of other red flags. Not being super interested in playing with other kids isn't, by itself, a red flag.

[jnet24]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

teachers are not qualified to dx and it really isn't fair to your children to compare them.

I agree teachers are not qualified to dx children, but I thought since she has a master in special education and he is in a special needs preschool that she might be able to provide insight. Aldo I am not comparing them per se, I am am just noticing expressive things in my 18 month old that my son has never done and still doesn't really.

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

In what specifc ways is he struggling?

Here are the threads I have posted about DS's struggles

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1135545

this one is kinda old but we are still delaying with the same issues and also

Speech: Does not really intiate communication. Does not share thoughts or feelings really, mainly just requests things. Ask Whats that to point out something he sees even though he knows what it is, just to talk about the object. He also repeats the same phrase the same exact way in various situations. For example a year ago I throw away a sword bc it was broken and I said the garbage man was going to come and get it. To this day if someone says anything about throwing away something he says exactly what I said that day " and the garbage man will come and get it" The same exact tone and exact words ever time. He also uses phrases he hears from tv that fit the situation. We were chasing each other with water and instead of saying stop Mommy he said "Freeze bobos" which is from Diego.

Social Skills: Does not even parrellel play with children he knows very well. If he is going to play with a child he knows VERY well it is only to tackle, push, or chase, including his sister. Or somthing that includes running jumping sports or at the park. He does not show any interest in what other chidlren are even playing with, even if he knows them very well. We come from a big family and he has 5 cousins all between the ages of 2-4. So he is around a alot of kids. He is afraid of children he does not know well, even the kids in his class that he has attended for 5 months.

Cannot self calm, throws many fits a day. Still needs a pacifier to calm down. Rubs my skin when he is tired, upset, or has his pacifier. Hates transitions. Establishes rountines and stick to them. He has to eat an orange at my grandmas, at the counter with two napkins, and she has to wipe his mouth and say bobobo bc she did it one time and now he gets very upset if it is not that way.

The reason i posted this is because I find it hard to figure out what is personality and what are signs of something more. So it is not just the progress report but the day to day questions. I just didn't know what a social delay plus his other struggles could mean. i am going to seek a developmental ped, but I just wasnt sure if I need to per se.

[BookGoddess]

I think that based on what you've written in the post above and in your previous post, there are enough issues to warrant a full evaluation from a qualified professional like a developmental pediatrician or an experienced child psychologist, etc. Based on what you've written, it looks like your DS may have more than social delays. But again someone who is qualified and able to see the child in person is in a better position to say what the issues are. I'm just a stranger on the internet.
While a Special Ed teacher's input is helpful, it's better to get an eval from someone who has the qualifications to make a diagnosis. I've found that SPED teachers sometimes give credit for things the child may not have mastered whereas a behavior analysist or psychologist may not. We had two evals done on our child and the school's estimation of what DD was doing was higher than the private professional I hired. I tend to believe the latter. It's been my experience that when a skill is emerging, the school tends to act like it has been mastered.

[sbgrace]

That you see social things that your son never did in his sister is important. I would not trust a sp. ed. teachers' assessment and would want a formal assessment I believe in your place.
Have you seen these two links re: could it be spectrum stuff:
http://www.childbrain.com/pddassess.html (this one is an online assessment to see if further evaluation might be warranted)
http://www.bbbautism.com/diagnostics_psychobabble.htm (real life language of the current (not upcoming) diagnostic criteria for pdd-nos.) This is important because you would see more than just social stuff if this is the area to focus on with him.

[Linda on the move]

I agree that there are enough flags there for a full evaluation. Some of things you list are flags for high functioning autism/ PDD-NOS / Aspergers.

I really like the book "Quirky Kids" by Klass.