s/o on "you're beautiful"

[BAU3]

The thread on complimenting children on their looks got me thinking and the nagging question that keeps coming to me is why do we dress up our children? whether it be for events or just everyday, what are our motives in dressing them up, if not to make them loook, to themselves and others, beautiful?
I've now been pondering this for a couple of days and I am so curious to hear other peoples motives in dressing thier children. IS it just an expected norm in our society? is it for personal reasons? Is it for the approval of others?

I am of the opinion that when I dress my daughter up, I do so for personal reasons,first, and then I really think that somewhere inside me i want other people to think she looks good, too. (I'd kind of like to think thats NOT a reason, but I'm just trying to be honset with myself) So when she's complimented on her looks, I'm thinking she probably connects dressing up=compliments.
Is that why we ALL dress up for? to feel pretty? to have other notice that we've taken time to try to present ourselves in an attractive way?

What are your motives?

[MusicianDad]

Well in some instances, such as an awards dinner, we dress our kids up because the unspoken or specified dress code of the event is that people, including children, will dress up.

The rest of the time, it's beyond me. My kids aren't expected to look well put together all the time.

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

I don't know, not something i've ever really thought about it, i suppose i do like putting my lo's in nice clothing to look nice, not that they don't without the nice clothes. they usually get filthy anyway whatever they are wearing, especially caitlin and caden lol.
i've not really answered your question really, i don't really have motives if i can afford to buy something nice for my lo's to wear i will but then i may have different views of nice or dressing up, to me wearing something new for the first time to go to a party is dressing up even if the something new happens to be jeans and a top.
sorry for not answering properly it's 1.10am and i should really be going to bed lol.

[Youngfrankenstein]

I agree with MusicianDad about events and such. Soooo many people seem clueless in these situations and look very out of place and uncomfortable.

I don't dress-up my dd, but I would like her to have mostly clean clothes, combed hair, and a clean face when we're out of the house. At home she is dirty and plays with potato bugs all day.

[zinemama]

I dressed my kids to look cute because I could, pure and simple. It was one of the perks of having a young child, finding cute clothes at the consignment store and dressing my boys exactly the way I wanted to. I knew that soon enough they would want to dress to suit themselves (and they do) and I was going to live it up while I could.

Why not?

[BAU3]

Are the potato bugs family pets, or just passing by?

Mydd was given a TON of beautiful clothes by a friend, and she LOVES wearing them.. so she will often go to one of her brothers soccer games in,say, a velvet holiday dress with a spongebob flip flop on one foot and a dirty sneaker on the other. She's a magnet for dirt,too. Its really quite entertaining.

But when we have to go somewhere, and I (we) make an effort to make her look nice and clean, We both seem to get satisfaction from compliments that people give.

[blizzard_babe]

We dress up for "dressy" events (luckily there aren't many in my life), but other than that, I consider DS fit for public viewing if he isn't COMPLETELY covered with whatever he had for lunch or mud and squished tundra berries from when we play outside.

[happydance]

I dont. I dont get it. My husband says it has something to do with respect. I dunno. Got me.

[number572]

My reasons for dressing up (& will be my reasons for dressing up my kids) is mainly out of respect for the event or whoever is being honored. A wedding, temple/church/synagogue, a business event, a birthday, a graduation, etc. A perk of that is other people complimenting me & compliments feel good. Its nice to be recognized for the time you took to dress up & clean yourself up.

Adding that I also think muddy/worn out/mismatched little kids are beautiful too so I'd be the one complimenting your LO on how beautiful they are straight off the playground! lol I feel pretty beautiful after a day of getting dirty either playing or working hard. I think the most meaningful compliment I ever got was a boyfriend who told me I was "the most gorgeous thing" he'd ever seen, when at the time I was covered in dirt after working outside all day, sweating! Awesome Then again, he did end up dumping me for a girly girl... (wanders off scratching head...)

[Snapdragon]

[eepster]

Why I dress DS up for events:

1. I just enjoy seeing him looking so cute.
2. To show respect for the event organizers who went to trouble and expense.
3. To teach him about dressing appropriately for thing which is an important life skill.
4. To prove I'm a "good mommy" who cares about what her kid looks like (I know that this shouldn't be a motivation, but let's be honest and face that it is.)
5. So he can hear everyone tell him how cute he is.
6. I paid good money for those clothes.

[MamaChicken]

Well, when I dress nice, put on makeup, etc I feel better. I like the attention, it is flattering. There's no use pretending that most people don't react in a more positive manner when someone takes the time to dress nicely.

For the respect thing, I might feel honored if I noticed that you took more time to do your hair, put together a nice outfit, and stay clean when you showed up for an event I planned. I might feel a little disappointed if I did a ton of work on a graduation party and everyone showed up in the clothes they wore to garden in.

For my kids? The two older ones think it is fun. The twins are to young but I like the way they look dressed up. I also have a fantastic picture of DD in her fancy party dress playing in the mud. Cute!

[CatsCradle]

Simple answer for me: I like fashion (not necessarily mainstream fashion but the art of dressing). I don't do it so much for approval but as a way to express myself through what I wear and consequently through what DD wears. She can decide to wear when she gets older, and she is actually starting to do that now, but my approach has always been: what looks interesting and fun while remaining event appropriate. I think it's fun to express oneself through clothes. It is less about what others think and what we feel about ourselves.

[lucky_mia]

One reason is I like clothes. I enjoy shopping and finding cute, matching outfits and putting them together. I like seeing my children in the cute outfits.

[Storm Bride]

hmm...I dress my kids up for special events (weddings and an occasional party). With babies, I usually throw them in whatever I've got, and it often doesn't match. I do dress them up sometimes, because my MIL buys these really cute clothes - matching outfits and such (especially for my girls, because she had four boys, and always wanted to buy clothes for baby girls), and I like to be able to send her pics of the kids wearing the clothes she bought.

Other than that? I don't. My kids pick their own clothes starting at about 2.5 or 3, and they dress themselves as soon as they're able. DD1 does wear nice dresses and such sometimes, but she doesn't seem to collect any more compliments, so I don't think that's why she does it. Maybe she just thinks she's prettier that way, and likes the feeling? That may be it.

I honestly hate dressing my kids, so I'm happy to pass the job on as soon as I possibly can.

ETA: I don't feel honoured if someone dresses up for me. Barring a very formal event (my wedding's about all I've got), I'd find that...unsettling. I'd basically feel that I was being put at a distance. But, I'm not a big fan of formality, in general.

[leighi123]

Ds usually pics his own clothes (from the store and from his closit every day), but he looks cute in whatever random stuff he wants to wear.

I do make him a lot of outfits, and he wears them for specific things (a giraffe shirt is for the zoo, a mickey one is for disney, a spring one for easter etc).

When we go out to dinner or something he wears a button up shirt that I made. He has a bunch and picked out his own fabric for most of them

[Cascadian]

All of the above,

and,

dressing up is a way of marking a special event to distinguish it from all the other days of the year. 'Special' clothing (for my DDs, shiny, sparkly, fancy, whatever), shoes and hair seem to enhance the experience. eg. dressing up for a fancy restaurant, play, recital, wedding. I have no issue at all with that.

And this is from the mom whose kids dress themselves (dirty fished out of the hamper or clean, crinkled, etc.) in a suburb where immaculate, name brand dressing for kids is the norm. So it's not like I obsess over it or anything

[happydance]

adding that I have absolutley no problem if someone calls my child beautiful. ever. I cannot even imagine being upset about something like that. It makes her no less of a woman.

[One_Girl]

My dd chooses to dress up because that is what she likes to do. She used to always insist on wearing a dress, but now she is okay with only wearing one most of the week instead of all week. We got most of her clothes from friends and some she chose from the thrift store but there are so many that she could choose to dress in pants like her teachers and I do. She chooses to be her own person. I have always insisted that she have her hair combed and a clean face before we leave for the day because that is how I was raised and I see nothing wrong with looking clean. I also try to dress nicely almost everyday, though not as nicely as my dd, because I feel better that way which probably has something to do with social norms but it is also something deeply ingrained in me.

[Honey693]

Originally Posted by eepster

Why I dress DS up for events:

1. I just enjoy seeing him looking so cute.
2. To show respect for the event organizers who went to trouble and expense.
3. To teach him about dressing appropriately for thing which is an important life skill.
4. To prove I'm a "good mommy" who cares about what her kid looks like (I know that this shouldn't be a motivation, but let's be honest and face that it is.)
5. So he can hear everyone tell him how cute he is.
6. I paid good money for those clothes.

I'm adding to this b/c it's why I dress DD up.

* b/c I can! She's 19 months and already starting to form an opinion on her shoes/clothes. I need to shove all the cute matched clothes in I can before she insists on going to the library in pj's and cowboy boots.