how do I help my 5 year old adjust to having a new baby brother?

[yentroc]

My dd turned 5 a few months after ds was born. Ds is now 5 months old.

We were VERY VERY close before ds was born. She was used to my constant attn for almost 5 years. She loves her brother, but is so sad and frustrated lately. She says many times a day that I "don't love her anymore". She told me that she feels like I "hate her". She is old enough to know that ds is not going anywhere but not old enough to rationalize that I can love both of them.

I've noticed that everything about 5 has been quantifying. Like, "I like this better, this medium-best, and this the least"... she's wanting me to love her the best, OF COURSE!

We go on dates every weekend. I enlist her help with ds and tell her what a great job she does being a big sister. I point out that ds lights up every time she enters the room.

How can I let her know that I still love her dearly?

It just kills me that she is having such a hard time and I'm scared that she'll never recover.

[starlein26]

My oldest had a very hard adjustment to my youngest. He told me many, many times that he wished she were dead. It was hard to hear. We would talk about how difficult it is for him that she's here...that everything's so different. That daddy and I didn't want her to die, that we loved her and loved him too.

He told me that "actually she isn't so bad" about a month ago...

My son had a lot more adjustment problems with my last than my second...likely because of his age...he thought more about the negative impact on him. He's a very sensitive boy.

Your daughter will come around.

[Boot]

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