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Why?

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
A friend had her baby last week and it was a boy. They had him circed even though they both said it was going to be awful and didn't want to be in the room. The husband went so far as to say he didn't even want to be in the hospital when it was done. I dropped a few things off there today and the mom was telling me how awful it was watching them strap the baby down, etc and how he's been screaming all day. The poor kid had his eyes really wide and looked shell shocked. I almost started to cry. Then the mom proceeds to tell me "If you have a boy that's definitely the worst part." Why on earth would she tell me how awful it was and then assume I'd have it done? I was floored. Usually when people go through something awful that affects them like this obviously did her they warn people to not do it. I just don't get the reasoning behind this, but maybe I'm missing something...
post #2 of 14
That's so sad. Poor baby!
post #3 of 14
Sadly, I think many people are under the impression (and this is reinforced in the hospital) that it needs to be done.

They are told:

They have to do eye goop
They have to do Vit. K
They have to do Hep B
They have to push on their backs
and if it's a boy, they have to have their genitals cut.

People choose to believe all of this and never give it a second thought.
post #4 of 14
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post
Sadly, I think many people are under the impression (and this is reinforced in the hospital) that it needs to be done.

They are told:

They have to do eye goop
They have to do Vit. K
They have to do Hep B
They have to push on their backs
and if it's a boy, they have to have their genitals cut.

People choose to believe all of this and never give it a second thought.
The thing that gets me is she refused half that stuff.
post #5 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Honey693 View Post
The thing that gets me is she refused half that stuff.
That's really sad - I think that reinforces the it has to be done scenario

How many birth plans have we seen that go something like this:

I want a peaceful birth
no epidural
freedom to move
no IV
dim lights
immediate skin to skin contact
No bottles or formula

oh and please cut his penis as soon as you can

Complete disconnect
post #6 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post
They have to do eye goop
They have to do Vit. K
They have to do Hep B
They have to push on their backs
and if it's a boy, they have to have their genitals cut.
So glad we said no to all 5 things! BE AN INFORMED CONSUMER OF MEDICINE. Doctors don't know everything. It's YOUR body and HIS penis. The responsibility is ultimately YOURS.
post #7 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post
That's really sad - I think that reinforces the it has to be done scenario

How many birth plans have we seen that go something like this:

I want a peaceful birth
no epidural
freedom to move
no IV
dim lights
immediate skin to skin contact
No bottles or formula

oh and please cut his penis as soon as you can

Complete disconnect
We have a lot of midwifery patients at the hospital where I work. The ones of American decent frequently refuse most intervention BUT circ. But, they will include instructions ABOUT the circ in the birth plan a la "We would like him to have local anesthesia with the circumcision"

post #8 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Honey693 View Post
I just don't get the reasoning behind this, but maybe I'm missing something...
From your description, I can only assume they believed it was a "necessary evil," which means they were convinced it was "the right thing to do" by people close to them or medical professionals.

I'd say the majority of people that seem to abhor the procedure but have it done anyway are people that have blind faith in doctors. "Well, the doctor went to school for 8 years and has a medical degree, who am I to argue?" That seems to be a valid point, however, thanks to the Internet and accessibility of valuable information, patients are becoming more and more informed and can make better decisions about their health and the health of their children.

It sounds like your friend and her husband unfortunately did not do enough research before he was born. You would think the basic instinct that we have as parents to "do no harm to our children" would overpower most questionable procedures, but amazingly many people are able to supress it (not being in the same room or same hospital helps I suppose).
post #9 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post

How many birth plans have we seen that go something like this:
I've seen it numerous times at my hospital! It boggles my mind.
post #10 of 14
Did anyone say anything to them before the birth? Often times parents really have no idea that it's unnecessary and they can refuse.
post #11 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post
(and this is reinforced in the hospital)
We wanted a birth at a birth center but had to transfer to San Francisco General Hospital, which is a birth friendly hospital. So while I believe that's true many times I am pleased to say that my personal experience was that the hospital staff didn't even know circumcision procedures existed. No one mentioned anything about it, positive or negative, at all. (Also notably, our son spent his first night in the hospital bed on mom's chest and lactation specialists and others came by to help her start breast feeding right away ... formula likewise didn't seem to be an option unless absolutely required and we ended up liking the hospital midwife better than our own .. especially during that critical hour of birth .. both midwives were present).

Just had to speak up and say not all hospitals are evil ... or at least not the birth centers. Having seen the inside of the emergency ward of the same hospital, that's a bit of a different game. Probably easier to have a good attitude when you're delivering babies into the world instead of treating gunshot wounds though.
post #12 of 14
One of the things that bothers me the most about these types of stories is the obvious disconnect between instinct and the brain. Both parents in this case felt how wrong it was, had very negative gut reactions, yet still consented. Somehow, they weren't able to translate that instinctual feeling of wrong to the thought that maybe they shouldn't do it. It's just so sad to see even when the parents don't feel right about it, society has made it so many don't even realize it's truly optional.
post #13 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post
That's really sad - I think that reinforces the it has to be done scenario

How many birth plans have we seen that go something like this:

I want a peaceful birth
no epidural
freedom to move
no IV
dim lights
immediate skin to skin contact
No bottles or formula

oh and please cut his penis as soon as you can

Complete disconnect
Yeah. As a doula, that one makes me bang my head.
post #14 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by BugMacGee View Post
We have a lot of midwifery patients at the hospital where I work. The ones of American decent frequently refuse most intervention BUT circ. But, they will include instructions ABOUT the circ in the birth plan a la "We would like him to have local anesthesia with the circumcision"

Yeah...I had one client like that recently. I told her that it would only provide about 50% pain relief, and I don't think she really believed me. Her first son had been circed, and she had no clue if any anesthesia was used at all for him. Second she had a home birth, so she had to take her son to a pediatrician for the circ, and she told me about how she could hear him screaming from down the hall just from the pain of having the lidocaine injected. And yes, she DID know just the pain of the lidocaine injections made him scream...because that was done, and he bled too much, so they stopped the procedure until he could get some blood work done, which meant he had to go through it all over again on another day. UUUUGGGGHHH. I had hoped that after the experience with just getting the injections was so painful and caused her son to lapse into a coma-like sleep for about 4-5 hours she would rethink the circumcision, but she didn't.
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