Fear v. Intuition

[JayGee]

I tend to talk myself into believing all kinds of things that are just fears, not facts. I've done this for as long as I can remember. I've convinced myself that friends no longer like me, that my husband is having an affair, that my Dad is having an affair, that my children are being abused, that I'm going to be fired from jobs, that my husband is gay. All kinds of totally irrational stuff, that I manage to twist into "truth" by hyperanalyzing snippets of reality and imagining them into something they are not. Anyway, it's killing me. I get all anxious and worked up about something that is just really a fear, not a fact, and can't seem to differentiate between my true intuition (which I wonder if I even have ) and my fabricated fears. It's putting serious strain on my relationships. I've accused DH of something totally false. And I've cut off contact with a friends because I've convinced myself that they really don't like me at all.

Any insight on how to deal with this??? And how can I differentiate between what is an irrational fear and what is a justifiable concern???

[windsorheightsmom]

Cognitive behavioral therapy sounds like a good option for you. You are stuck in some negative thought patterns and need help breaking the cycle. Although you may feel hopeless, since you've been dealing with this for many years, don't give up hope. It is possible to break those chains of anxiety.

[Penelope]

Yes, it sounds like the anxiety is really driving your thinking... have you ever been treated for it?

[JayGee]

Originally Posted by Penelope

Yes, it sounds like the anxiety is really driving your thinking... have you ever been treated for it?

No, never treated for anxiety. I never actually considered anxiety as the cause. I'll look into it. Thank you both!

[A&A]

What helps me is saying "or not" at the end of my worries, even though it sounds simplistic.

So I'll think, "my husband is having an affair!" and then I'll force myself to think "or not."

"I'm deathly ill!! ...... or not."

Etc.

[sapientia]

Anxiety and feeling out of control of a situation can cause my intuitive radar to get crossed with my paranoid radar. I have to step back and calm myself and find out what's really botheirng me to sort that out.

[Bea]

It sounds to me like you're describing Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) without the ritualistic compulsions (hand washing, for example). You have just the obsessive thinking.

It's very common and very treatable with cognitive (behavioral) therapy if you're motivated to try to fix it. It's a manifestation of anxiety. If you do seek a professional to help, I'd, personally, avoid any medications they suggest. You can conquer this by retraining your thinking which will take a concerted effort but not with drugs which simply biochemically masks the effects of the anxiety.