STILL pooping in pants. HELP! (No potty training forum?)

[Gendenwitha]

He is 3yrs 11months old. For about the last year or so he was potty trained as long as he was naked. About two months ago, I tried putting underwear on him. He said, "no, no, no" as I was putting it on, I said, "just try it."

Later he wet his pants and I said, "Oh! You were supposed to use the potty, remember?" and he said, "I KNOW, I don't LIKE it when you do that!"

So gave up....

Then about three weeks ago, when in the auto parts store, he really, REALLY, wanted a remote control car they had there. I told him if he used the potty for a week I'd buy him a remote-controlled car. He immediately came home and put on underwear. He used potty to pee for a week so I bought him a remote-controlled car.

Problem is, he still wasn't using the potty to poop. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten him the car yet, but it seemed like he was trying and I was so excited he was willing to wear underwear.

So my question is two-fold:

One, how do I get him to poop on the potty?

Two, because he basically wore diapers because he LIKED them, I don't want to put him back in pull-ups or diapers, for fear he'll start using them to pee... but cleaning up poopy underwear is driving me CRAZY because it goes all down his leg and into his pants. (It's not like he says whoops, mom I pooped, I have to discover it for myself, by which time it's a MESS.) So are there any training-pants that will hold in the poop better but not make him go back to full-diapers?

[Gendenwitha]

bump.... anyone??

[pbjmama]

I've been there. My ds pooped his pants for over 6 months. He is now 4 and still does it sometimes. My 2 year old is more reliable as far as pooping in the potty. So based on my long and very very very bad experience...

One, you don't get him to poop on the potty. You have nothing to do with it. He does it when he is ready.

Two, you get over it or you fake it instead of getting crazy. He knows he is in control. Remain calm. Something like this, oops looks like you pooped in your underwear. Here we go to the bathroom, strip down, clean up, bath, get dressed, take dirties to the laundry, start the machine. He helps clean up any other mess too. Wow, it took a long time to do that. If you go poop in the potty you only miss a minute of playing but if you go in your pants we have to stop playing until you are cleaned up.

Good luck. Pooping is def my trigger and my ds pushes that button. I have to remind myself I am the adult. And sometimes shut myself in the bathroom and have my own little tantrum!

[Gendenwitha]

Thanks PBJ, but how do I leave the house?!!

Definitely a good idea tho.

[alfabetsoup]

Dollar store. 15 or so cheap but attractive toys. One BIG toy, something he really wants. Put the small toys in a bucket, every time he poops in the potty he gets one, when he's got them all he gets the big toy. Make sure he can see the toys but not reach them. Worked (took 2 rounds) for poop-averse DD1 although we had to stipulate that it was a big poop as she could generally manage to squeeze out little ones at will.

I don't normally do rewards and bribes but desperate times call for desperate measures.

[Rosebud1]

PBJmama, your post made me laugh out loud! I am picturing myself in the most detached and driest manner saying "Wow, that took a long time".

Your advice is really great -- it's a perfect example of natural consequences. When you don't take the time to go to the bathroom, the clean up is inconvenient and not very fun.