Letting my kids spend 5 weeks with stbx and his family in France

[Hollycrand]

It's official - the tickets have been bought, my 6yo dd's passport will be taken care of next week. The kids will then get on a lpane with their father and spend five weeks with their grandparents in France. I am nervous at letting them be so long from me, as well as so far away (they will be across the Atlantic).
I have legal documents assuring me that they will be returned to me safe and sound after 5 weeks, but I am still a bit nervous.

The only reason I am letting them go is because mt ex-FIL doesn't have much longer to live, and I'd like the girls to be able to spend some time with him. My ex-MIL is also wonderful with the kids, and I am secretly hoping that a change in environment, yet seeing a familiar one, will help my 4yo dd gain confidence in pooping by herself on the potty.

Does anyone else have to deal with several weeks being away from the kids?? How do you help pass the time?? I am really dreading these 5 weeks!! (Even though I have a BF and will be taking a summer correspondance course in Human Resources....)

[LorenaAZ]

I´m on the other side of this. I am spending the summer in Spain with my little one and her dad is not going to visit with her until we go back to the US in August. We got notarized permission letters stating I could take DD to Europe until September (just in case, because when we came the volcanic cloud was causing airport closures). I know that my ex is spending a lot of his free time with friends and working on the house. We also do video conferences over the internet so he can talk to his daughter and so she can see and hear him as well. They really enjoy that time together even though my little one is not yet 2 yrs old. She likes to listen to her dad on the phone, but adding video to his voice has made it very special for them. She "reads" him books, shows him new toys, blows him kisses, makes faces with him, etc. I don´t know if you would like to do that since it´s only 5 weeks......but 5 weeks to me would seem like a very long time. Programs like Skype serve this purpose well.

If I had time away from my kids, I would use it to recharge. Yoga, massages, chiro visits, private hikes with your BF, etc. Maybe going out at night? Just do things you don´t normally get to do when the little ones are with you.

I hope the 5 weeks go quickly for you and that your children enjoy their time in France. They are lucky to spend this time with their family.

[La Sombra]

I don't really have advice for you. My 3 yo dd is going to England this summer with her daddy, my ex, for ten days to spend time with her grandparents and other family there. I know it's really important to ex and to his family--and that it will be a great experience for dd, too, that I would never try to take away from her. Still, though, when I think about it, I feel sick. She's never spent more than two days away from me. I'm expecting my second babe around the time she'll be gone so I don't even know if she'll be around for the birth. It might be nice to have a little one-on-one time with the new baby and with DP but mostly I think it will be really really hard to have her so far away, and that I'll be wishing she could be around to spend time with her new baby brother. But what can I do?

Sorry, like I said, no advice, just commiseration!

[KatWozBlue]

Just to let you ladies know and hopefully it will help you feel better, I spent every summer in Costa Rica with my grandmother when I was a child, from age 4 or 5 until I graduated from college and they are some of the best memories of my childhood. I missed my mom and my dad but I learned so much about myself and was able to really learn to be independent. I am going to do it with my own children starting next year as my mother has moved back to Costa Rica. I will miss them terribly, but I know how wonderful it was for me.

[Mountaingirl79]

My kids went on a cruise a couple of years ago to Mexico with their Dad and his extended family. I was so so nervous, and I missed them terribly but in the long run, it was GREAT for them to get to spend time with their grandparents (one of whom is approaching 80) and their aunts and cousins. It was worth letting them go explore the world and trusting their dad ( which I do absolutely) to care for them. It went great.

I know you will miss them and 5 weeks is longer (!) than my experiences, ( I went to NY with my now DH a few summers ago sans kids for 10 days tho) but if you trust the caregivers, all will be fine.

[Holland73]

My ds has been spending 4-7 weeks in Oregon with my parents since he was 4 years old. Although, I do go up there every couple of weeks to spend a few days.

I am surrounded by children 24/7 (I am an elementary school teacher) and a 100% solo parent, so I enjoy every single minute of my peace and solitude. Plus, I know that he is having an awesome time with gma, gpa and all the aunts, uncles and cousins.

I do miss him very much and am very happy when he comes home, but man, that break is a major blessing for both of us.

How do I pass the time? For the past 2 years, I had been teaching summer school. This year, there is no money for summer school. So, I will just be taking classes 2 nights a week, going on a short vacation to Boston to visit a gf and enjoying the peace, quiet and FREEDOM!

[Teensy]

I spent 2 weeks with my grandparents every summer growing up and have great memories of those times. I just went to Atlanta - spending time in France sounds like a terrific experience for a child!

Five weeks - man, I could catch up on my to do lists, clean out every closet in the house, and still have fun evenings to do what I wanted (dinner with a friend - without having to cut up anyone's meat!, watch all those shows I have Tivo'd, stay up late reading novels since no one would be waking me up in the morning - at least on weekends, go for bike rides, browse antique stores, . . . sigh)

Enjoy it!

[Holland73]

Oh, and I also spent every summer, 6-8 weeks, with my grandparents from 5-12 years old.

I feel so blessed for having that time with them. I had so much fun (and troublemaking ) during those summer months. What wonderful memories!

Btw... I am so jealous of your dd! I wanna go, I wanna go, I wanna go!

[SoulCakes]

I hear you. We're the ones who moved to a new country, but DD is going to be spending five weeks with her dad back home this summer. Honestly, I'm not the slightest bit worried (well, ok, maybe just a little), because he's a great dad, she's going to have a wonderful time, and I'll have five weeks of peace and quiet! I totally understand why you'd be a little nervous in your situation, though - it's new and a little scary - but the odds weigh heavily in your favor that everything's going to be just fine. Relax and try to enjoy the vacation!

[lindalu]

Boy, it would be hard to let them go for 5 weeks. BUT, how do they feel about it? If they are excited, try to be happy for the amazing opportunity they have. Many children never get time with grandparents or to experience life in another country.

What a wonderful reunion you will all have! Wishing you all the best.

[Hollycrand]

The kids are over the moon! They used to be really close to their grandparents when we lived on that side of the water.
I think it'll be a great experience for them, their language, and in their identities.
They have gone through a Transatlantic move and a messy separation/divorce in the past couple of years, and a change of scenry will be good for them.
I am also hoping that it'll help my 4yo with her poop issues.

But darn it, I want to meet the pilot of the plane and tell him to take care of my babies!!!!

[paakbaak]

oh your kids will be very very very happy!!!

the most important thing is to trust the adults they will be with. if you do, then it´s cool!

also, skype once a week, or every chance they have and WANT to!