Just found out I'm pregnant...now I'm freaking!

[sarabei]

After years of not wanted to have children, I guess my biological clock started ticking (in conjunction with the birth of an adorable niece), so I stopped my birth control and crossed my fingers. 3 months later, I've got a positive test and now I'm just freaking out! I'm not super excited like I thought I'd be, and I'm wondering now if it's the right time and if it's really what I wanted (a little late for those thoughts...), etc... Is this normal? I feel like maybe just because it happened so fast and I hadn't really gotten used to the idea (we did wait about 3 months before I stopped birth control). I've read that it's ok to not be all gushy and excited at first, but all my family and friends are on cloud nine when they find out, so I guess I just wanted reassurance that this can be normal.

(I also haven't told anyone yet, so maybe my friends have felt this way, but by the time they announce the pregnancy, they have already gone through the emotional roller coaster?)

[queenofchaos]

Ambivalence (sp?) and anxiety are EXTREMELY common during pg. Add a whole bunch of surging hormones to the mix and LOOK OUT! Why wouldn't you be 2nd guessing something so completely life altering? It sounds like you gave everything plenty of time to be mulled over. If you haven't developed confidence in yourself, becoming a mom is an excellent time for it! You are doing fine, mama!

[Ellen Griswold]

Yep, I remember that burst of panic while looking at those pregnancy tests and thinking, "Holy cow, what have we done?" even though we'd planned and charted and all that. That was with my first two. This one was unplanned and, well, that caused some panic too. Motherhood is life changing and change always causes stress. I'd say you're ahead of the game by acknowledging your feelings.

[Funny Face]

It is so normal! SO normal! Of course everyone else experiences pure bliss when they hear you are pregnant. They aren't the ones who will undergo a huge life change!

I had freak out moments all through my first pregnancy. I told dh I was seriously afraid I could have the baby and not bond with it, what would I do then? I was so afraid of everything 'motherhood'. Then she came and I never looked back.

Let yourself feel everything and put words to those feelings. A journal is a huge help.

[Eresh]

Ah, the "what the hell have I done?!?!" Yep. Been there. Twice. And both pregnancies were planned more or less. R was conceived 1 month before we decided we were going to start TTC. This one was conceived on the first cycle of not avoiding. I thought I'd have a while TTC and could mentally/emotionally adjust.

[jessieb503]

I totally agree with above posters... I've been trying to have a baby for 2.5 years with three miscarriages... I am now 13.5 weeks preg and I actually freaked out when I got preg this time! I was like, wow, I might ACTUALLY have a baby this time- and I got super scared and nervous!
Now I am super excited and can't wait to hold the little bundle.

congrats!

[laughymama]

When we got our positive for DS both DH and I doubled over the kitchen counter because we were so shocked and slightly hyperventilating.

But we KNEW we weren't using birth control and wanted a baby...for some reason it actually happening wasn't a reality we could fathom.

I remember being 4 months along and feeling almost sad because I was thinking about how it's never going to be just me and DH anymore. I wondered several times during my first pregnancy, "What have we done? Why did we want this?"

I think it's very normal.

Now that I'm pregnant with baby #2 I'm having similar feelings. We're thrilled but now and then I have days where I'm thinking, "What on earth were we thinking?! We'll have a toddler and a newborn...this is not a good idea..."

It's a journey. Once baby gets here, it's a journey and adventure that keeps going whether you're processing reality or not. I think those days (even weeks) of feeling all those feelings are very normal and necessary for some of us to truly grasp our situation.

Motherhood is transforming and change can be scary. Especially this type of change because you have no idea HOW it will change things until the baby gets here.

You're going to be a good mama.

Funny Face is right, a journal can do wonders. Or even a blog.

[CherryBomb]

Ambivelence is normal, no matter how much the baby was wanted. Bringing another person into the world is a pretty big deal, so I think it's natural to get nervous

[sarabei]

Thank you so much! It is good to hear from real people that have felt similar things, and not to just read it in a book.

[MaerynPearl]

I wanted to get pregnant... since I had my last child (nearly 5 years ago) I knew I wanted another.

We tried for 2 years before conceiving this little girl and let me tell you...

ambivalence prevailed the first few weeks! unsure what I had gotten myself into, could I really handle three kids?! oh my goodness, I have to go through morning sickness again... oh I didnt think of that (lie. i did, but not-pregnant me didnt care! LOL)

[KempsMama]

We tried for three and half years before we got pg with DS1, and I had several OMG is this really happening am I really ready what the heck where we thinking moments, all the way through the pregnancy. And I've had them this time around too. Perfectly normal, IMO.

[Beltane]

Yes - I went through the same thing ~ thank goodness for this forum and all the wonderful and experienced posters here!

DH and I decided to try since we weren't getting any younger, but when it happened I freaked as well. I remember crying in the car all the way to work some mornings because I thought I had made a mistake. (Just recently I found out DH was having the same thoughts). We couldn't be happier now, so I believe you will be, too. Congrats! Enjoy your pregnancy.

[cagirlintexas]

I have one and really did want a second most of the time yet it has taken me a while to get excited about this one. It happen on our first try and took us both by shock. I am 13 weeks now and finally starting to get excited but only mildly. A lot of days I wonder if we made the right decision. I swear my 3 year old is more excited then dh and I. I think feeling this way is pretty normal. Having a baby is a huge step and can be pretty overwhelming at first.

[porcelina]

Just another note to say it is totally normal to freak out. We did the same thing. However, the amazing changes to your life that now appear frightening will be more than compensated for by the unconditional love and joy of having a child. You will not think twice about what you once saw as sacrifices, once the little one becomes part of your life. Of course, bonding is not always immediate, but as your relationship grows and you enjoy those daily milestones, you will suddenly find yourself completely in love with that little being.

[zippy_francis]

Totally normal as pp have said. It takes time, and for some they are excited right away and for others (like me) it wasnt till I held my dd's for the first time that I was really excited. But as soon as you see that little person, you fall in love like you cant imagine.

For me it took alot to be ok because both pregnancies were unplanned. I was terribly sick through both, plus I was working full time and my DH was always working and never home to help out. Plus the TOTAL realization that my whole life was changing. Some people keep doing what they always did before kids, but for me I knew I was going to be changing my whole life.

It is overwhelming, but what I have learned is you can handle alot more than you think. I could never have imagined 2 kids under 3 but you grow into it as they grow.

[Loving1]

I think it's perfectly normal. Even though somewhere in my mind I think I may have wanted children for years when I became pg unexpectedly I was terribly depressed and filled with anxiety for months. On top of it, I had awful morning sickness with extreme fatigue.

I waited to share the news because I didn't want to deal with people on Cloud 9 when I was so uncertain. I only told a few people that I was really close to at first knowing that they would have a listening ear and allow me to express myself without trying to overwhelm me with their feelings.

I started to come around sometime around month 5 and even though I'm nervous about all the ways my life will change, I can't wait to meet and raise my daughter.