does your five year old have a friend?

[jackson'smama]

i am currently INSANELY worried about social issues WRT my 5 yo ds. he will be homeschooled and we are currently attending a very small co-op prek once per week and he's been playing t-ball (with waning interest) this season. but he hasn't really made "friends". i know alot of kids his age are already having massive birthday parties, sleepovers, spending all day at a friends house and vice versa.
mine seems perfectly content to play alone or with his brother. he seems like he sometimes tries to get in on play with the two other boys at prek, but their mothers are best friends and those boys are together all.the.time, so it's hard for my ds to break in - he's like the 3rd wheel. when i sit back and watch this, i just cringe and it makes me sad inside.
at t-ball, most of the kids are completing their first year of kindergarten (ds isn't old enough until this fall), so they're already "friends" and while they are all nice to him, he just doesn't seem to get into the "let's hang out and talk and act goofy" together thing that the rest of them do.
please tell me i'm worried over nothing. i admit my worry stems from the fact that i'm shy and an introvert and i think mine has to do with some home issues as a child (that ds does not experience), but i also worry i've passed on something to him that quite frankly, i wish i didn't have. it's hard for me to make friends, make small talk, etc....
any advice?

[BellinghamCrunchie]

If he wants friends and doesn't have any, then I would work harder to try to develop some friendships. DD (age 5) is very extroverted and I'm very introverted - we are part of a homeschool group that does things together weekly and she has made some friends that way.

If he is not concerned about not having very many friends, then I wouldn't worry at all. I personally think introverts are way cool, and very interesting people. I secretly wish DD was just a tad more introverted so that I wasn't having to constantly socialize with other moms all the time.

[jackson'smama]

he seems like he couldn't care less. he seems to have fun whenever we have prek or a playdate, but he has just as much fun going to the park as a family.
he never says beans about "friends". so i assume he doesn't even really get that whole thing yet.
so i guess i don't have anything to worry about at this point? i keep thinking we need to step up the whole socialization thing and i'm already freaking about how in a small town we are going to accomplish the social end of homeschooling.

[EyesOfTheWorld]

I wouldn't worry in the least! At this age some kids are all about socializing, but some kids would really rather be doing their own thing or spending time with their family. You're giving him a great family foundation for future friendships! He'll let you know when/ if he's ready to be more social with other kids

[EyesOfTheWorld]

I totally didn't answer the actual question!

When DD1 was 5, her "friends" were my friend's children. They got along, but they weren't extremely close, and I was a little worried then too. She's just recently found 2 friends that I'd say are really kids she CHOOSE to be friends with who weren't just circumstantial buds. It's just one of those things that happened on her time.

[KCMichigan]

I have 4.5 yr old twins that are heading in K next fall.

They have very few 'friends' that they play with that are non 'mom's freinds kids'.

They do talk about their PreK friends and play well at preK. One DD is very reserved and is content playing alone, other DD asks constantly to have school friends over.

I think it is personality for the most part. They are together so my more outgoing DD gets a playmate all the time, but my other DD would be fine if left to her devices most of the time.

[~cassie]

Alex thinks he has friends. And he does care about having friends but he is a little socially immature so he is always adding himself to the mix with the neighborhood kids and they just want him to go away He hasn't caught on that they only play with him for his toys.l He does say he has friends at school though he doesn't see them outside of school.

[peaceful_mama]

DS had 2 years of pre-K with the same teacher and many of the same children. (Those who don't go on to K or move or anything stay with the same teacher, they can start at age 3 and go till they hit K age, so many have 2 or even closer to 3 years with same teacher.)

He did not really start playing with the other kids and showing huge interest in that and in having friends until about the middle of this last year. (at age 5 years, 2-3 months)

His friends have also been the kids right near us in the neighborhood and my friends' kids until recently. I would say just this spring he is really finding his own friends in the neighborhood and seeking them out to play with--actually going to find them and saying he wishes they were around when they are not rather than just randomly seeing them outside and going out to play. This is 5 and a half. I'd say he has two friends he looks for and plays with really well. (he does play with a few others in the neighborhood, but these two seem to be his real buddies. One is pretty new just since school got out, I think he was in K this year.)

My son at 4 was also the kid who kind of messed up other kids' play and didn't really 'get it'. He's past that now. It *does* pass!

[One_Girl]

My dd had a bunch of friends at that age at daycare, some were my children of my friends, and then there were the ones that were her friend for the day in the park. A lot of the playdates were set up between me or other parents making the invitation, or prompting our kids to. If you are worried then I think you should talk to the mom's you see most and invite their kid (with mom if she wants to come) over to your place for a playdate. It takes time and a lot of experience to really build a deep relationship even for kids, especially for kids who take time to warm up in big play situations. Play dates may help him warm up a little quicker in situations where he already has a friend he knows.

[Gal]

DD is 6, she has two kids that she hangs out with in school but that's all. She's not interested, at first I thought it was becuase they excluded her but then I saw what was happening and she chooses to be alone. The other kids invite her to play and she says "no" not a shy no but a firm "leave me alone" no. She's like SO.
I wonder if I should be worried now that you ask.