Please tell me what I'm doing wrong?? Is it me? - Page 9

[mamazee]

I'm not telling people what their priorities should be, just stating my priorities. And I do see a distinction between "I dont' want people to think badly of me" and "I'd be embarrassed by you", but if you don't, that's cool. We can do things differently and have different opinions about this.

When toothbrushing was an issue, I took my dd out and had her choose whatever fancy toothbrush she wanted, which she thought was great fun and got her brushing, but I am lucky to have the financial ability to do things like that and I understand other people might not.

[mamazee]

Oh, and what I've had to force is mainly getting my dd together to get on the school bus on time. Like, get on your shoes right this second. So we all have our own issues we deal with, and I'm certainly not perfect and haven't found an answer to that problem. If I've come off as judgmental, it wasn't my intention, and I apologize.

[buttercup784ever]

I guess it's how you picture it in your mind as well. I mean, if you picture me as Mommie Dearest screaming at my child that she's an embarrassment, yeah I'd agree that was wrong. But your explanation of your feelings is exactly how I feel, and I don't see any problem in telling my kid's that their dirty condition embarrasses me.

I felt it was judgemental only because you sort of made it seem like because control over their own body's is important to you that it should be important to everyone. Unfortunately, I see the results of that, like I said before. I do medical testing on kids, and they don't always have a say over what's happening to their bodies. I think the kids that have complete control over their own body's would be much more traumatized by a forced medical procedure than one who is at least somewhat used to a parent making them do some things they may not like.

I think you were very lucky with the toothbrushing only because I know kids that wouldn't have been persuaded by fun toothpaste, and you might have had to then make the choice of forcing a child to do something or dealing with the consequences of rotten teeth.

[mamazee]

I was inspired much more from baggage from my mom than anything specific from you.

Also, maybe we should take this to PM if we want to talk more, as I'm afraid this thread is getting way off topic.