: I don't believe 5, 6, 7 year olds are always capable of making choices that are in their best interest. If she was totally in charge of her own body/life, she'd never brush her teeth and she'd eat lollipops for breakfast. And I do care what other people think. I don't want people judging my child at school if she's dirty. Also, I didn't think I needed to get into all the details, but there were real reasons why on this particular day she had to have her bath right then. I am not unreasonable or rigid. If she could have had a bath before school or before bed, that would have been fine. She couldn't this time.
Another issue is your reaction to your DD being upset. When a child has a tantrum it's helpful to not take their behavior and words personal. Staying calm helps them calm down too. When you get really upset it can be scary. Since you showed your DD that getting her treat was dependent on being nice by taking it away for being rude, her idea that being nice would get it is logical.