Leashes for kids? - Page 4

[TCMoulton]

Originally Posted by SparklingGemini

Not everyone who opts out of using a child leash experiences these kind of exchanges.

And not everyone who opts out of leashes holds their child's hand above their head for long durations of time.

I stand by what I said. I think leashes are ghastly. I think they can give a false sense of security to parents, I think they are the lazy way out of teaching children and I think that they send a horrible message to small children.

I think that making judgement calls about a person's parenting based on their choice of safety devices for their children can be dangerous and also sends an incorrect message - that there is only one "correct" way to parent a child and that couldn't be farther from the truth. I see no difference in criticizing a parent for using a harness or for extended RF their child in the car - in both situations the parent is doing what they feel will best protect their child and who am I, an uninformed bystander, to judge the choices made by a parent.

[GretchenC]

I haven't ever used them and am not in love with the idea. But parenting has taught me a lot I didn't know I didn't know. This may be one of those things.

[jess152]

Originally Posted by northernpixie

i did have an airport screening person tell me she wasn't a fan of them, and i was thinking, really? Have you ever tried to make your way through an airport by yourself with all this stuff and a kid who bolts? Stop judging me lady.

lmao!!

[kblessinggr]

My second oldest (the one who has the tedency to run away from you into traffic or public places), is the only one of the three that has a "leash", it s a backpack that looks like a puppy dog and has a tail as a leash, he calls it "bear bear". He's actually quite attached to it, and will actually behave (most of the time) when wearing it such as holding my hand while walking (with the leash around my wrist just in case). Normally I would think he'd fight such restraint but he just fell in love with the thing. I think its also cuz its something he has uniquely to him that his older brother doesn't have (but his older brother will stand right by you as you get the other two kids in and out of a car, etc)

We got ours at Meijers for 10$

[kblessinggr]

Originally Posted by GretchenC

I haven't ever used them and am not in love with the idea. But parenting has taught me a lot I didn't know I didn't know. This may be one of those things.

Least the kids can see em now as kind of a toy/accessory, than those really annoying velcro wrist straps + leash the rest of us grew up with. (or belt clips)

And honestly I'd rather not risk the bolting one from running in front of a car or something as I handle three kids at once.

What helps though is trying to get the kids to engage in an activity that keeps them near. For example my youngest often goes into a baby stroller, offering the two older brothers to help push the stroller (or cart in store) keeps them going in the direction you want them to go, getting them to stop on the other hand is a different matter.

[seren]

I have one. It's a backpack with a dry erase board. Perfect for something fun int he car. Just the right size to hold a few diapers and some wipes, plus a cup. We have only used the detachable leash part a few times, so few in fact, that I don't even know where it is. I will admit to thinking about buying another just for baseball season. Dh and I would really really love to be able to actually sit through a whole game of ds1's. Ds2 just wants to explore. I thought the backpack would give him enough to feel he has some freedom. At the same time I would be able to watch the game for more than half a second without worrying he's going to run off.

[happysmileylady]

Originally Posted by SparklingGemini

Not everyone who opts out of using a child leash experiences these kind of exchanges.

And not everyone who opts out of leashes holds their child's hand above their head for long durations of time.

I stand by what I said. I think leashes are ghastly. I think they can give a false sense of security to parents, I think they are the lazy way out of teaching children and I think that they send a horrible message to small children.

You are right, not everyone who doesn't use a leash is constantly saying those things, not everyone who doesn't use a leash is wearing the poor child's arm out above the child's head. Because, DUH, kid's are all different.

I never used one with my older daughter. I never needed one. She simply didn't have a real "runner" type of phase. She had other "phases" But I never felt that we would have a use for one-and we never used a sling or other carrier either.

But my younger dd? I am seriously considering buying one soon here. And we DO use a ring sling, I love that thing! But dd, well she doesn't. She wants to be DOWN and running! My mom and I took her and my 4 year old nephew to a state park to see a waterfall and nephew decided he really wanted to explore around it...and we ended up on a 2 mile hike. At the end of it, DD was the only one of the 4 of us who wasn't completely exhausted. She just loves to walk and run around and seems to have boundless energy to do so.

Having a leash is not about avoiding teaching the child about safety and staying close. It's about KEEPING the child safe while the child is learning that. It's not about a false sense of security, it's about a very REAL sense that your child can explore the grass in front of you but doesn't have the ability to end up in front of the car coming down the street because she is on a lease that limits just how far she can explore. It's exactly like all the thick mats that they put under the uneven parallell bars in gymnastics. The kids are coached to stay ON the bars, but the mats keep them safe while they learn to stay on the bars.

[justKate]

Funny I was thinking about this same thing. I HATE the idea of them, but when DD wants to walk in Target instead of being worn/carried/strolled, it's an appealing thing to try....

I'm hoping to ride toddlerhood out without one (because they do seem so "leashy"), but I might try one of the kinds that goes from your wrist to the child's wrist when she gets a little older. Of course this would create a great tripping hazard for other shoppers. Hmm. Now HAVING a very high-spirited child, I am hesitant to pass judgment on any parenting tool!

[Comtessa]

I have always hated them...

... Until the day when I was caring for two almost-three-year-olds and an infant, and the three of us were out for a walk along a busy street in their urban neighborhood. One child stopped suddenly to look at something, and the other one yanked her hand out of mine with no warning and took off at a sprint down the street. I had to leave one child alone on the sidewalk and chase the second child at a full run, with the poor frightened baby in the sling clinging to me for dear life. She was in the middle of the street, with cars coming in both directions, when I finally caught up with her. I was half out of my mind with terror. I hauled her back by the wrist to where the other child (thankfully) was waiting, while she twisted in my grip and shrieked, "you're hurting me!" I felt like I'd just won the Worst Nanny in the World Award. If she had been on a harness, she might not have liked it, but she most assuredly would not have ended up in the middle of the street -- and the other two children would not have been put at risk while I ran to catch her. And certainly I wouldn't have had to hold on to her so tightly, all the way home, that she was screaming in pain (though honestly, I don't think I was hurting her at all, I think she just didn't want me holding on to her). That very day, I told the parents they needed to figure out another childcare arrangement, because until the older children could be trusted not to run away from me, I couldn't be trusted to keep all three of the kids safe. A leash would not only have kept that child safe, it also would have allowed me to continue caring for all three kids!

So no, I'm not about to judge anybody who uses something like that, especially if the alternative is a child alone in the middle of the street. And in my case, it wasn't like I could figure out a parenting strategy that would keep her closer -- I wasn't her parent, I was just a nanny. The parents' choices created the monster (so to speak); I simply had to deal with it.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by justKate

I'm hoping to ride toddlerhood out without one (because they do seem so "leashy"), but I might try one of the kinds that goes from your wrist to the child's wrist when she gets a little older. Of course this would create a great tripping hazard for other shoppers. Hmm. Now HAVING a very high-spirited child, I am hesitant to pass judgment on any parenting tool!

As an argument against the wrist thing, that's going to be constantly in your child's view as opposed to a back pack that will sort of "disappear" for her once she was used to having it on. And if she did dash off, it'd be more harmful to pull on one arm than against a harness.

[GardenStream]

We have the monkey one. DS started walking at 8 months and developed into the kicking and screaming if held type at about 12 months. We got the monkey. DS loved it. Surprisingly it was something that we always had along with us, but we never actually used it. Anyway, a few months ago we decided to go to Washington DC. I told DS1 that he was 3 and therefore a big boy now and that his almost 2 year old brother was not the owner of the monkey. DS1 actually cried over losing the monkey he never used.

We have found that it's much more difficult to keep track of 2 kids. We have used the monkey a few times with DS2. It's the best compromise I can come up with. He wants to walk/run and I want him to stay within 5 feet of me. He's happy and I'm happy, anyone who doesn't like my decision can shove it.

I'm far from being the perfect mom, but I'm doing the best I can.

[coffeegirl]

Originally Posted by laughymama

DH and I both discussed how 'dumb' and 'terrible' they were when I was pregnant with DS.

Then DS was born and then he started walking.

He's a runner. Right now I'm pregnant and I just cannot keep up with him when he bolts sometimes. 2 year olds are QUICK.

Oh my goodness, yes being pregnant and having a toddler is one situation where I can TOTALLY see using and loving the leash/harness! As tired as I am now (33 weeks along) and as uncomfortable it is to move my big self in the heat, I couldn't even imagine that.

I don't get the couple of posters who have decided that they are evil lol. Really if you think about it, they aren't any more confining than a stroller or a baby carrier, or having your child hold your hand, etc. You just love your kids so much you don't want to let them get away from you, what's so bad about that message?

[Bekka]

My 15 month old daughter almost got hit by a car in the parking lot and I was holding her hand when she got away. I have plantar fasciitis that pops up from time to time and I suddenly have to walk slower; I never had a darter before and she's my 5th child. Guess what I'm shopping for? DH is not thrilled, but I was really scared when I was running and yelling for cars (and dd) to stop in the parking lot. She stands up in strollers and shopping carts and high chairs, she has no fear and thinks everything is funny. She will be learning safety parameters, but this seems like a necessity for this summer. I have to take my other 4 kids places that include parking lots...

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by SparklingGemini

Not everyone who opts out of using a child leash experiences these kind of exchanges.

And not everyone who opts out of leashes holds their child's hand above their head for long durations of time.

I stand by what I said. I think leashes are ghastly. I think they can give a false sense of security to parents, I think they are the lazy way out of teaching children and I think that they send a horrible message to small children.

Wow, thanks for calling me lazy. I really appreciate that. I have a leash, and I have it for one reason - TO MAKE SURE MY SON DOESN'T RUN INTO THE STREET!!!!! Seriously, what offends your sense of sight more? A dead child in the middle of the street or a leash? A leash? really? You'd rather my kid die than be attached to a safety device? Thanks, thats nice of you.

Let me explain. I have used a leash 3x. Once to test it out. Ok, my son hates it passionately, so I only use it when absolutely necessary. When would it be absolutely necessary you ask?

Well, see, I don't own a car. So I have to take the bus certain places, not often you know, but sometimes. Sometimes I also have to do lots of walking when I get somewhere, so I have to take the stroller too. Strollers have to be collapsed before I can get on the bus. This means that my child can't be in the stroller while we wait for the bus. So, I take him out of the stroller, attach his back pack leash and fold up the stroller. While I'm folding the stroller, he's usually trying to run into the street to "play" with the cars and trucks. I have told him not to do this THOUSANDS of times - he does it anyway b/c he's only 18mo and doesn't understand that those cars and trucks can kill him. The ONLY time the leash is taught is while I am folding the stroller. I can't hold him, fold the stroller, and all the rest of our stuff all at the same time. I HAVE to keep him safe - thats my JOB.

So, thanks for calling me lazy. It really truly made my day.

[isign]

I don't feel like I should have to explain the reasons I made the parenting decision to someone who doesn't walk in my shoes, and chooses to judge me based on a situation they know nothing about. I use one 2 to 3 times a week, sometimes with both children. DH and I use them because we feel that is the parenting tool that best suits our needs. I am not hurting my children, they are not unhappy, they don't complain, and request that they wear George & Daisy - monkey & puppy who wears DD's hairbows. I met someone this weekend who made a very harsh judgy statement about parents who use leashes until I told him that we use them. He backtracked very quickly.

[dalia]

This is a strange world we live in. It's totally okay to strap your kid into a stroller, high chair, car seat, or confine them in a play pen, crib or room. But put a leash on them?

"Gasp! My child is not a dog!!! Remove this ghastly thing!"

It's really all about how it makes us adults feel, isn't it? Because honestly, my kid would rather have a chance to be more engaged in the world than passively watching it go by. Not that I don't use a stroller, I totally do. But honestly I think most of the time he would be much happier on the leash! Gonna get him one for Christmas cuz I'm such a "lazy" mom!

[brennan]

I haven't used one for my daughter, but I had one for the kid I nannied (well I still have it, just haven't used it).  I never used it as a leash, I would always chase before I pulled and would try to hold his hand.  It was just nice to have that extra reassurance as he was a runner (at really bad times).  I haven't used it for dd because she doesn't really need one, we live in a tiny town with no traffic (as opposed to when I nannied in a big city) and if we go into the city I usually go with dh so there are 2 of us to chase.  

[peainthepod]

We have the puppy backpack one for DS, who will suddenly bolt without so much as a backward glance and loves the word "Stop!" and the game "Freeze!" but doesn't yet understand how to apply them to real world situations. Since DH and I are flying with both children in a couple of weeks, I expect we'll be using the good old-fashioned lazy parent leash. I'd rather face judgment from clueless strangers than lose my child in one of the three busy airports we'll be navigating each way. And a leash lets him interact with his surroundings safely rather than being confined and unable to touch anything as he would be in a stroller or carrier.

Fortunately for us, DS likes our ghastly ways. He actually seems to prefer being tethered like a dog than carried or wheeled around like a baby.

[Storm Bride]

I haven't read the whole thread.

They're a tool, like any other parenting tool. They can be used in a way that respects the child, or in a way that doesn't. There are some adults who will make negative comments about them when they see a child in one. That never happened when I used the harness with dd1 (and she loved it, btw), but if it had, I'd have probably said something like, "I'd rather be the sort of person who uses a child harness when appropriate than the kind of person who puts down strangers in public without knowing their situation" and left it at that. The harness saved my sanity when ds2 was a baby, and it gave dd1 a much, much better summer than she'd have otherwise had. I've never used one with ds2, because there was absolutely no need for it (he could use it now, but I don't have one that would hold his weight). He was always happy in the Ergo.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by SparklingGemini 

 

Not everyone who opts out of using a child leash experiences these kind of exchanges.

And not everyone who opts out of leashes holds their child's hand above their head for long durations of time.

I stand by what I said. I think leashes are ghastly. I think they can give a false sense of security to parents, I think they are the lazy way out of teaching children and I think that they send a horrible message to small children.

I think it's "ghastly" to make this kind of assumption about why a person is doing things a certain way with their children. I knew someone in this thread would make such an assumption, because someone always does.

What horrible message, exactly, do they send to small children?