Do you ever just get sad and frustrated? - Page 2

[goodlife2010]

Mama Soltera: Sorry to hear you are stressing. Remember how lucky you are to be a mom and how lucky your children are to have you. I know it gets tough sometime..belive me I know.

Jsma: sorry you are going through your pregnancy alone. I know how difficult that can be.
Just remember what a blessing being able to carry a child is. Many women would die to be in your shoes.
Take care

[Lacrymosa]

Oh, I understand completely!! I am a single mother to an 11 month old and it seems like it is every day I am incredibly sad and frustrated and just worn out.. and envious of all the parents who are still partners when it comes to parenting. I have my baby 100% of the time and I get NO child support because her father doesn't even have a job and lives on someones couch.

It's hard but then I look at her and realize how in love with her I am and I'm glad I get to enjoy every moment of her precious life, and also that he doesn't seem interested in fighting in court for her like some of these other poor single mothers have to go through..

Hang in there, mama.. message me if you ever need moral support!

[Wolfcat]

Single, working mama to a pre-schooler and a newborn, here. I have never for one day had a partner to share the responsibilities.

Originally Posted by Mama Soltera

Sometimes I just feel so burnt out and resentful about being a single parent. Not resentful towards my kids, but towards other mothers who have help and support and a partner always there with and for them, helping around the house or with the kids -- just someone to hang out with every night after a long day. I know all the partnered moms say they don't really get much help and they might as well be a single mom, but I have been a partnered mom too and, while I know what they mean, they just cannot imagine how different it really is for single mothers.

Anyway, sometimes I feel really trapped and hopeless and I don't really have anyone who I can relate to. I know a few single mothers but their kids go on visits with their dads (I have mine 100% of the time) and they get child support and there is at least another responsible adult out there invested in their kids and sharing the burden. I know I'm completely rambling. I just wanted to see if there was anyone here who could relate. Thanks for "listening" anyway.

Originally Posted by vocalise

I know exactly how you feel, mama.

Sometimes, parenting alone 100% of the time just plain sucks. You can sugar coat it and remind yourself that partnered parents work hard at their relationships, that some partnerships are tough and brutally uneven in terms of work load, that you wouldn't for the life of you want to have HIM living with you, but... it still plain sucks sometimes.

Lately, I've been struggling with resenting all the people in my kids' lives who visit them, have "fun time", and then leave. I don't begrudge my kids their relationships with extended family, etc., but it just so happens that I do all the work of raising them, and other people get to enjoy them (while I'm usually running around trying to catch up on all the things I'm behind on). Then, as soon as the visitors leave, the kids are all over me, melting down, tearing the house apart, and needing their needs met in spades. Ugh.

Anyway, I'm there with ya. Sending supportive vibes your way.

I hear ya, both of you. Solo-single parenting is like Chinese water torture. It wears you down one day, one minute, one melt-down at a time.

Originally Posted by HappilyEvrAfter

Luckily, I get regular financial support, but a helping hand to do laundry while I cook dinner sure would be fantastic!!!

I know. Just hold the baby so I can cook. Or make a sandwich for bug while I'm nursing the baby. Change the laundry while I do bedtime. Watch the older child while I'm nursing the baby.

Just another body to help pick up or minimize the mess, to give attention to the kids. Any of this would be a godsend at this point.

Originally Posted by missgranger

Mama Soletera, I could have written your original post. I don't have advice but offer up hugs and "you're not alone." It will get better. It will. It must. We'll make it.

I get through it all by reminding myself that those biopics frequently have some big shot talking about how he/she owes everything to his/her single mom who is his/her hero... I will be that mama. I will...

[SamiPolizzi]

Originally Posted by HappilyEvrAfter

I'm generally going good, doing all the single momma things until I get a glimpse into another mom's life (who's attached) and realize all I "cope" with being a single mom; all the things I do double duty on...that's when I get overwhelmed. I know I should feel proud that we're doing as well as we are with just the two of us, but, dang, sometimes I get mad that it's just the two of us...sad that it's just the two of us.

Yes to this! In general, I'm fine being totally solo, but then I see how other families function and I'm just JEALOUS. I hate being jealous.

[Kiernan]

I can definitely empathize. My son's dad passed away last fall so I am 100% a solo parent. Sometimes I get unbelievably tired not just doing all the physical parenting but all the mental parenting - all the decisions about childcare, school, health, discipline, whatever fall completely on me. I do have great parents and a sister within an hour's drive who will take DS occasionally to give me a break, and that helps tremendously. But sometimes it would be nice at the end of the day, when I am tired and DS is whining, to be able to just take a quick walk outside to clear my head. It's hard to never be able to do those simple things.

[meemee]

no i dont.

i wonder because i have been a single parent for 6 years. and my dd is no longer a little child.

but i have come to the conclusion that parenting is parenting. single or not. its just the same.

we all have our problems. and it is the same. while you may have a problem getting to have a shower alone, another mom may be struggling with how her dh disciplines the kids.

i am a loner. doing things my way with no one trying to tell me what to do is sooooooo good.

however yeah there are some times when i wish i had some support.

but those are on rare ocassion.

[Kylad]

Oh I totally understand, I do the 100% of the time thing as well, and with no financial help as well. I have two little boys ages three and eighteen months, and sometimes I literately wonder if I'm loosing my mind. There are times when I feel like I never stop, the house is never clean and I never get sleep.
The thing that keeps me going though are my little boys and the fact that I'm the one constant thing in there life. That and the hugs and kisses I get from them helps, lol.
This probably doesn't help much, but remember it's worth it, your doing this for your son, just remember though sometimes you need to do something for your self, it's a lesson that I myself had a hard time learning, but it's something all parents should learn in m opinion lol.
Any way hugs again and I hope things get better.