Separation anxiety in 4.5yo?

[wookie]

Ds1 is almost 4.5 and has recently started showing anxiety when separated from me. For example: he used to love going to preschool. Asked every morning if it was school day. Suddenly in the last couple of weeks he clings to me at drop off, shies behind my legs and insists I stay there or take him back home with me. I left him there today crying and flailing I would take him home with me in a heartbeat if I knew he didn't really want to stay but he *always* says he had a great time afterwards. This has been going on for a few other classes he's enrolled in besides school.

Another example: he was going to bed at a decent time (7:30pm) every day for a few months. Dh laid down with him (he wished me and the baby gnight and went straight up), read him some stories and he slept. Now he won't. ot only will he not let Dh put him to bed he doesn't even want to sleep in his room. "I don't like my room, mama" "I always just want to stay by your side, mama" etc. What's going on?!

I'd wait it out if I was sure this is a phase. Is it? He's starting K this fall (which he is/was really excited about) but I don't have it in me to bear the crying every single day! :

ETA: there have been no major changes in our life, no moves, no new baby (baby brother is 13mo) etc.

[wookie]

no one?

[Limabean1975]

Hmm...my 4.5 year old has his clingy days, but this sudden change in yours sounds like it might be more than "just a phase". I've heard a few stories like this amongst friends, and it often turns out that something has happened/is going on - in one case, it turned out the little girl was being bullied in kindergarten. It was *very* easily resolved after a long period of anxiety with the cause unknown (they spoke to the teacher, worked with the "bullies", etc.).

I don't know how you can find out what might be going on - I know I can't get squat out of my 4.5 yeard old if I'm trying to find things out!


Also, I don't mean to alarm you - it could be something really small that feels huge to him, y'know?

[spughy]

Huh. I have kind of the same thing going on. Exactly the same age. (See my thread about tantrums in a 4 year-old). I have no idea what the deal is.

One of DD's preschool buddies was over for a playdate this week and DD was being cranky and difficult; DD's buddy's mom said that he had gone through a few months of tantrums, crankiness, and generally being obstreperous and unpleasant then he came out the other end, got cheerful again, and could suddenly read. I'm hoping for that kind of explanation.

[wookie]

Originally Posted by Limabean1975

Hmm...my 4.5 year old has his clingy days, but this sudden change in yours sounds like it might be more than "just a phase". I've heard a few stories like this amongst friends, and it often turns out that something has happened/is going on - in one case, it turned out the little girl was being bullied in kindergarten. It was *very* easily resolved after a long period of anxiety with the cause unknown (they spoke to the teacher, worked with the "bullies", etc.).

Also, I don't mean to alarm you - it could be something really small that feels huge to him, y'know?

Thanks, Limabean. I don't think it's a bullying issue because his teachers say he's always cheerful in class after the first few mins, is very attentive and participates well. I also *know* the other kids in his preschool and they all seem pretty friendly. Also, fwiw, he only goes 2x/week.

He doesn't seem anxious otherwise. hmm. Not sure what's going on.

[wookie]

Originally Posted by spughy

Huh. I have kind of the same thing going on. Exactly the same age. (See my thread about tantrums in a 4 year-old). I have no idea what the deal is.

One of DD's preschool buddies was over for a playdate this week and DD was being cranky and difficult; DD's buddy's mom said that he had gone through a few months of tantrums, crankiness, and generally being obstreperous and unpleasant then he came out the other end, got cheerful again, and could suddenly read. I'm hoping for that kind of explanation.

Amen, sista I do think some of it is some kind of growth spurt/milestone. He's grown an inch in the last month and has been almost hormonal, for want of a better term.

[jillmamma]

sounds familiar here too...NAK