Would it be cheesy...

[annettemarie]

to go ahead and start a wishlist at Target.com or someplace, just in case people wanted to get us stuff for the babies? I know it's our fifth and sixth babies, and I wouldn't say this in real life to anyone, but with twins I am really hoping someone does decide to throw a little shower. But even if they don't, sometimes family asks. But I don't want to be tacky.

[tinynyota]

Hey, there's nothing wrong with being prepared, now is there?
Plus, twins are different than singletons and you might need different stuff ... and it's only a wishlist. For now.
Do it! I think I might too.

[HeatherB]

Totally, go for it! I started lists on my own before anyone knew we were pg. Now, I am not sure if anyone (other than my mom, maybe?) knows about them. But it was lots of fun to scour stores for items I'd want for a new one. And, yeah, this is #4 for us. But there ARE things we need, and other things we'd want. And, if nothing else, it's a list to help ME remember what I found.

[lilmiss'mama]

Someone told a friend of mine that having a shower after your first baby is tacky. I think that is ridiculous! There is always something you need. And most importantly a shower isn't just about getting gifts; it's about celebrating a new life! The 6th kid has every right to be celebrated just as much as the 1st.

[HaikuMommy]

I don't expect a shower, since this isn't my first baby... but I did register at Target, mainly to use the registry as a shopping list for things we will buy for the baby. My little ones are both girls and will be born within 2 years of each other, so it's not like it's been several years or anything.

My sister even offered to throw us a shower and I said it wasn't necessary, because people feel obligated to buy gifts if they get invited and we really don't need too many things. Then later I was thinking about it and kind of regretted it. I should have said "Sure, but on the invitations, specifiy that gifts aren't necessary." Why not celebrate a new baby coming into the world? And if someone really wants to give a gift, that's up to them -- as long as they know it isn't an expectation we have.

[HeatherB]

Haiku, I totally agree about celebrating a new baby. It's not the gifts, it's the celebration! I suppose that's sort of a different thread, but it's also entirely true that having a registry does NOT mean you're asking - let alone requiring - anyone to give gifts.

While I've given showers for 2nd babies for ALL of my friends, no one EVER has given us a shower beyond our first. I heard one of my mom's closest and oldest friends wants to give us one this time, and I'm shocked - and pleased. Taking the opportunity to celebrate a new life is always a good thing!

[teenyxdoodlez]

I agree, I think a shower is more about celebrating a new life. You shouldn't not be "allowed' to have one or frowned upon because it's your 2nd,3rd or 4th babe. As a matter of fact a family member of mine had one for her twins which were her 7th and 8th babies. Guests were just as giving with those two as they were with her first.
Anywho, HeatherB-Totally agree!
I say go for it. Not only will it help out other members get ideas for what you need (if you choose to tell them about your list) it will help you stay organized on what you might want/need to buy. I have one for my older kiddies too. I like to pick things out and then go back and buy things i've listed as needed.

[Adamsmama]

I personally don't see anything wrong with having a shower after the first baby. I think it is about supporting the mom (and dad) and celebrating baby. Different people/groups gave us showers for each of ours. I found it to be fun and uplifting, especially when feeling huge and just wanting to hold my baby.

[RedOakMomma]

I think with twins it's incredibly important to celebrate the babies and family, actually. Twins can require a community effort, especially in the first several months, and a shower can be about bringing all those loved ones together in joyful anticipation of the effort and love to come.

[paintedfire]

I think it's a great idea. At the very least, you can give a bit of direction towards what you really want/need. I know people often give "inappropriate" gifts, but it most cases like that I think it's just them not understanding your way of parenting and they really want you to have something you love. I know I've never bought a present for someone with the intent of bothering or upsetting them (especially a pregnant woman!).

I also agree with everything that RedOakMama said. It's not just about gifts, it's about support.

[butterflies]

I'm planning to do exactly that. We gave away a lot of baby gear after ds because we moved long-distance and it just didn't make sense to haul all that around. My co-workers threw my 1st shower and I think they'll organize something this time too. Any excuse for a party with this group!

I was living in a new state where I didn't know a lot of people with my 2nd so I didn't haven't a shower.

[Ellen Griswold]

So glad you asked! I wanted to know if I should do this too. I'm pregnant with a surprise #3 and have NOTHING left. However, I find that I'm way more opinionated this time around and want people to get me the "right" things.

[mediumcrunch]

Sure, why not? I started a wish list at Amazon and this is my ninth Things do get worn out, which I don't think people really realize. No one has asked me if I need anything and I am reasonably sure no one is throwing me a shower (I've never had one) but at least I have a list of what I want/need all in one place and with pregnancy brain a little organization is always a good thing.

[mediumcrunch]

Originally Posted by lilmiss'mama

The 6th kid has every right to be celebrated just as much as the 1st.

Preach it!!!

I sent myself flowers after my 6th. I was soooooo sad that no one really seeemed to care he was born. My hubby got a clue and when I brought home #7 the house was immaculate and all decorated with streamers and balloons and Happy Birthday signs.
We moved so often when I was having my first 5 that I never knew anyone well enough to have a shower. By the time we settled down in one place long enough to make friends I was on babies 6,7,8.......and trust me, *no one* thinks that a mom might want a celebration of baby #8 or 9. It is NOT about the gifts. I'd be thrilled if I had a shower and every brought a donation for the local home for homeless pregnant women. Instead most people are more concerned with when I will have the baby and whether or not it will interrupt what I need to be doing for them
And I'm teary again. This just upsets me so much every time. I don't want to tell anyone either since I'm afraid it will seem like I am just fishing for presents and/or attention/

[annettemarie]

Thanks everyone! I would love, love, love a mama blessing, but this isn't really a very crunchy area and I don't know that anyone would have even heard of that. I'm not good at asking for help or spelling out what I need, and I think that's why this feels so strange to me. But twins are just... whoa. We weren't expecting this. One more we could have done without really needing to get anything, since we've saved pretty much everything, but two seems kind of impossible at times. And you're right, if nothing else, it serves as a list for me to check stuff off as I find things at yard sales, etc.

[kittywitty]

I think it's totally fine. I always have. I don't usually tell anyone about them but point them in that direction if they ask. Mostly b/c people always buy us bottles and things we don't use/want and so if there's a list of things we do want/need, at least some people prefer to use the list. Plus you get 10% off what isn't bought off your list at Target.

[FarmerCathy]

I registered at Kelly's Closet for diapers and a moby wrap already.

[MaerynPearl]

I have a myregistry.com registry.

I figure, even if no one wants to buy us something (this is my third baby and DFs first) I have it as a list of things that I still need to get.

[St. Margaret]

I made one on Amazon this time, b/c they have crunchy stuff on their site and you can link up anything from any store on the web, too.

But a lot of it is for me to keep track of what we need, plus our family loves wishlists, we often check each other's amazon list for birthdays etc.

If you register at target or BRU, I think some of those places give you a discount on buying anything left on your registry after your due date (or wedding date, whatever kind you have), which would be awesome! You can make up a registry and let the date pass and then get the discount on stuff you really need!

[newmommy7-08]

These are only my second and third, but I did it! If anyone looks at you funny if it comes up in conversation, just say that with so much going on you needed a list of what you needed to get somewhere it wouldn't get misplaced!