Should I say something or let this go? *Update, post #14* - Page 2

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by zinemama

As far as I can determine, these discussions are not taking place within the context of the sex ed class, but after class, privately. The teacher ought to know better and the OP should not be encouraging her daughter to continue this. I've taught in public schools. It doesn't matter if the teacher is actually being creepy or not. It's not appropriate for a 13yo girl and a male teacher to be discussing penises outside class.

If they're being taught about penises in class, then there is no problem. Unless you're going to state that she can't talk about math outside of math class, or English outside of English class, or any other class, then there is nothing off or weird about this. Unless sex ed is inappropriate to teach in class (and I've certainly heard opinions in both directions), there is no way to say they shouldn't be discussing this outside of class. She's discussing the curriculum.

OP: I'm not sure what I'd do, but I'd be insanely angry. He has no business making medical recommendations to his students, and his attitude about you (the "let me guess...your mom?" thing) is disgusting. If any of my teachers had ever shown that kind of disrespect of my parents, I'd have blown a gasket. If any of ds1's teachers ever does it, they're going to wish they hadn't.

I don't know enough about how things are structured in the US public education system, but I'd definitely go over his head. He's giving them incorrect information, and refusing to admit it. I'd also go over the head of a teacher who insisted the Battle of Hastings was in China in 605 BCE, if he or she refused to admit that information was wrong.

[Fellow Traveler]

Well you might provide the prevalence map that shows the few places that actually do this and perhaps the new Dutch policy statement could help.

[JessicaS]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I'd also go over the head of a teacher who insisted the Battle of Hastings was in China in 605 BCE, if he or she refused to admit that information was wrong.

I admit I would too.

[Bea]

Originally Posted by abimommy

I admit I would too.

1066, bloody battle, France v England @ Hastings, England. William the Conqueror (F), King Harold II (E) shot dead with arrow in eye. France then ruled England.

Both had foreskins which can be seen clearly depicted in the Bayeux Tapestry (not really).

[Frootloop]

Originally Posted by zinemama

As far as I can determine, these discussions are not taking place within the context of the sex ed class, but after class, privately. The teacher ought to know better and the OP should not be encouraging her daughter to continue this. I've taught in public schools. It doesn't matter if the teacher is actually being creepy or not. It's not appropriate for a 13yo girl and a male teacher to be discussing penises outside class.

Actually, yes.. these conversation are taking place at the end of Health class, where they're in the midst of Sex Ed. As number572 said (thank you!), it's not as though she's going to her male math teacher to talk about penises. I truly don't find it the slightest bit creepy or inappropriate, as she is having these discussions with the same teacher who is teaching them the wrong information in a classroom setting. I am very proud of DD for correcting misinformation about this subject, even though it's regarding a penis. I think that to tell DD NOT to talk about or question it is just further instilling in a female's mind that the penis is none of her business (how many times have we heard that from men? That they have the penis, therefore we females should butt out?), which I absolutely do not agree with at all. It's not as though she is talking to her teacher about having sex, she correcting his misinformation about a painful surgery performed on baby boys. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Annablue, yep.. extremely condescending and unhelpful. One thing that DD and I can't stand is for someone to talk to us like we're idiots. And for him to basically tell my daughter that I don't know what I'm talking about because I'm not a health teacher...?? YUCK.

Storm Bride, thank you, as well. You said exactly what I've been thinking!

Ambystoma and Fellow Traveler, I just read part of the Dutch policy statement and I am absolutely in love with it so far. That's definitely going to be included!!

Now, with that said, I'm not going to send the printed information to school with DD, as I talked with her a bit more last night and she feels that he's already angry with her for questioning anything he's teaching them. I did tell her that unless he gives more inaccurate information in the classroom in regard to circ, she should just back off for the moment.

I don't know if I will be emailing him any information.. I think that it's highly likely at this point that he wouldn't click on a single link and it would go directly into the trash. I do plan to email him and also the principal that I am extremely unhappy that Mr. Teacher is giving inaccurate information to his students and hopefully start a dialog with them and just kind of go from there. I will either snail mail them a packet of information about it or if I can somehow manage to get up the balls to do it, I'll take it to the school myself.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Please keep in mind that namecalling is against the UA. Please keep this in mind when posting. Thanks!

[Irishmommy]

Originally Posted by Frootloop

I do plan to email him and also the principal that I am extremely unhappy that Mr. Teacher is giving inaccurate information to his students and hopefully start a dialog with them and just kind of go from there.

I would also CC the school superintendent, going by what you said about the principal.

[knitted_in_the_wom]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

... his attitude about you (the "let me guess...your mom?" thing) is disgusting. If any of my teachers had ever shown that kind of disrespect of my parents, I'd have blown a gasket. If any of ds1's teachers ever does it, they're going to wish they hadn't.

That really bugs me too. I think the OP needs to address this personally with the teacher, copying the principal, vice-principal, and possibly school board president. A teacher should NEVER undermine the authority of a parent in such a way. It is one thing to respectfully suggest that a parent might not have the most up to date info (not the case here...but...), but it is entirely another another to do it this way.

[rhiOrion]

Haha, I posted this earlier, but I *may* have called the teacher a name that violates the UA. Oops!

I say you mention in the email that he himself admitted that he doesn't know that much about it, and that, you have done a lot of research on it. That you understand that he may have been given incorrect information. That as a health ed teacher he's bound to frequently encounter newer research into old topics, and that it must be really frustrating to have thoughts on certain topics change. BUT, you just so happen to have some links with the newest, most up-to-date, information that you'd love to share with him.

Basically, this guy is acting like a UAV. Arguing with him is only going to make him a bigger UAV. So I say kill him with kindness (but not be sugary over-the-top about it), while at the same time being very informed on something he is not informed about. And make sure the sources you use are sources he will most likely respect. Random website probably won't do it, but medical association statements might.

I'd try to make as much of your argument as possible include actual quotes from organizations.

[KristyDi]

I'm glad you're addressing this with this guy.

I was a special ed teacher and dealt with lots of students who were on various meds and lots of families who were considering meds. It was always stressed to us that we were not to recomend or suggest any meds or medical treatment. The furthest we could go was something like "I'm aware of other kids who've had success with XXX treatment or med, you may want to mention it to your child's dr."

So I think this guy is really over the line.

His attitude about you is extremely unprofessional. He's allowed to think whatever he likes about his student's parents in the privacy of his head, but to show anything less than respect for parents to their kids is just unacceptable and should not be tolerated. Perhaps if this is a chauvinistic environment it might help to have a meeting with the teacher, you and your DH. Sad as it is you might get him to listen to you better if your DH is there in support of you.

[EarthyMamaofDaisy]

I would print out info from doctorsopposingcirc.org They have some pamphlets you can use. Also nocirc.org has stuff you can print out. When the NP retracted my son AFTER I asked her not to I used their info and highlighted portions and went over her head to the patient liason. I would write the teacher, attatch the documentation and CC the whole package to the principal and superintendant. God help any teach of my kids who tries to pull similar crap...

[NSmomtobe]

Originally Posted by Frootloop

Actually, yes.. these conversation are taking place at the end of Health class, where they're in the midst of Sex Ed. As number572 said (thank you!), it's not as though she's going to her male math teacher to talk about penises. I truly don't find it the slightest bit creepy or inappropriate, as she is having these discussions with the same teacher who is teaching them the wrong information in a classroom setting. I am very proud of DD for correcting misinformation about this subject, even though it's regarding a penis. I think that to tell DD NOT to talk about or question it is just further instilling in a female's mind that the penis is none of her business (how many times have we heard that from men? That they have the penis, therefore we females should butt out?), which I absolutely do not agree with at all. It's not as though she is talking to her teacher about having sex, she correcting his misinformation about a painful surgery performed on baby boys. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I agree with this because it was always hard for me to speak up IN class when I was a student. If I had a concern I would talk to the teacher afterwards and hope that if I pointed out inaccurate information, he would set the class straight at the beginning of the next class. I also felt it was more respectful than openly disagreeing in front of the class. However, the teacher is not being the least bit respectful in return and that makes for an uncomfortable situation.

Originally Posted by Frootloop

Now, with that said, I'm not going to send the printed information to school with DD, as I talked with her a bit more last night and she feels that he's already angry with her for questioning anything he's teaching them. I did tell her that unless he gives more inaccurate information in the classroom in regard to circ, she should just back off for the moment.

I don't know if I will be emailing him any information.. I think that it's highly likely at this point that he wouldn't click on a single link and it would go directly into the trash. I do plan to email him and also the principal that I am extremely unhappy that Mr. Teacher is giving inaccurate information to his students and hopefully start a dialog with them and just kind of go from there. I will either snail mail them a packet of information about it or if I can somehow manage to get up the balls to do it, I'll take it to the school myself.

At this point, I am thinking it might be best to wait until the school year is over and your daughter is out of his class before making more waves, as they will affect the way he treats her.

[fruitful womb]

I have experience with this.

my advice to you is Go to him in person and discuss your concerns.

I've been in your shoes. Well, sort of.

I happened to look over an Anatomy and Physiology book at my son's school during registration. The books were stacked near the registration desk. I read the information regarding the anatomy of a complete penis. As expected, its incorrect . Hey, I'm an intactivist! I couldn't help but to make sure the information was correct!!!

I wasn't prepared for how bad it actually is.
All it said: The foreskin is tight. This can cause phimosis. Newborn boys have this part of the penis removed. This is a surgery called circumcision.

I'll PM you the name of the book.

The lack of info and the misleading bias literature in it infuriated me!


I went to speak with the A&P teacher. She'll be my son's "Science Explosions" teacher in fall. I wanted to make sure she wasn't some bigoted airhead with a dangerous agenda to culturally brainwash kids.

I kindly addressed my concerns about the information in the book. I told her it was misleading and incorrect. I asked her if it would be alright if I could bring her materials regarding the function and the purposes of the prepuce organ. She was receptive.

This is what I brought to her:
http://www.amazon.com/Doctors-Re-exa.../dp/0971187800

Information on Proper Intact Care
http://www.asnatureintended.info/3/p...tact-care.html
and the dull lecture video (good for a sexEd class because its based on complete facts regarding the structure and functions of the Prepuce Organ)
http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...o/prepuce.html

She took it. A few weeks before the semester was over Mrs. Teacher came to me and thanked me for the information. She said it was very helpful and that she really appreciated it. She said she would give it back to me on the last day of class. On that day she said she forgot the materials. I asked her to keep it over the summer as my son will be in her class in the Fall and we can talk about it then. And thanked her for viewing the information I gave her.