Originally Posted by karika
4. If my child did not want to travel in the car, we don't. Just like if I had an adult friend that had the same behavior, I would not force them. Walk with baby in a sling if you can, use public transportation where a carseat is not required maybe. But for us, we just didn't ride in the car.
(Personally, I do not know any adults who scream and arch their back when getting into the car.)
I try to discipline as gently as possible, but some of these suggestions are absurd. My kids are 3yo and 15 mo.
12 mo is BORDERLINE too early for discipline. A 12mo can learn, and they NEED to learn a lot of things so as not to become monster toddlers.
If your kid doesn't want to go in the carseat you don't go out? That's ridiculous. Sometimes you have to go out, especially with an older kid or a working parent. As a pp said, talk to the child, even if he doesn't understand all of it, and tell him where you are going...the park, grandma's, etc...sometimes just hearing you mention something that he recognizes and likes calms him a little. Sometimes not, but we have to go out, so I bend him as gently as possible, put him in his seat, put on some music, and go. He usually calms down shortly after the car starts moving.
Shop by yourself? If it's so easy for you to just suggest that as a solution, then I am totally jealous of the amount of free time you have. DH works long hours, and I work PT a lot of the hours he is home. If I didn't take my kids shopping we would have no food in the house. If the kid is pitching a fit at the store, I may cut the trip short, but not short enough that he thinks it's short due to his tantrum. Otherwise you will end up with a 2-3 yo throwing tantrums to leave the store, because he knows it will work. Sometimes snacks, toys and distractions work, sometimes not so much.
At 15 m, my youngest is starting to learn these things. He hasn't arched his back for the car seat in a few months, and our shopping trips, while rarely pleasant, are becoming more tolerable.
I think 12 mo is a key age, as a pp said, in planting seed of discipline. They may not say much, but they understand a lot.