Managing a toddler and a new baby? Book recs?

[kitikatuka]

I'm having a baby in October and my DD will be 25 months old when the new one arrives. I'm a SAHM and I love it and think I'm doing a good job, but as things progress, I'm starting to freak out thinking about being outnumbered, without a free hand to do anything (even with the little one in a sling), about getting a 2 year old down for a nap with a newborn in my arms...about getting the baby down for a nap with a 2 year old running around.

I've been searching for a book which talks about these things, but am not having much luck. Can anyone here recommend any good reading material on this topic -- or, if anyone has any tips on what has worked for you, I will be forever grateful.

[waiting2bemommy]

nak---I think there are no books on this subject because nobody with more than one would have time to write such a thing. Or read it.

baby in arms and toddler going potty, will be back later with a 'real" response....

[mckittre]

Looking at 22 months here, and am eager to hear any tips as well.

[Nicole730]

DS was 22 months when DD was born. And I wasn't sure what to expect. But things are going quite well. DS loves his little sister, or is just indifferent to her. We are fortunate that DD is a baby who loves to sleep and is able to do so without me.

Basically, here's my thinking as to why DS is fine with DD. I only tell DS I am not able to do something with him, while I am with DD if I really can't. He climbs on my lap while I nurse, he is often on my hip while I am wearing DD, he 'helps' with diaper changes, etc...

If I need to put DD down to deal with DS and she starts fussing, I tell her, E, you have wait your turn, I'm with G right now. And then do the same if I am with E and G has to wait. That way he sees that they both get their 'turns' with mama.

Those first few weeks DD did pretty much lived on me, either in a stretchy wrap (my favorite) or a sling. It was easier to nurse in the sling, but not as comfy for me for long time wear.


We also do a lot more TV here than we used to. A friend lended us Elmo's World and he will watch a few episodes of those a day, although now that we can be outside, tv time is dwindling again.

ETA:
re: naps. I usually bring DD in DS' room for his nap. I hold her while DS sits next to us and read books. Then I put her down while I do our routine with DS and then pick her back up for kisses good bye to DS. If DS wants to sit on my lap for stories, I put DD down or hold them both, it's not too difficult.

For DDs naps, I don't have too many struggles because she sleeps when she is tired. I either put her down in her bassinet and close the door, put her in her swing, or wrap her on me and she just goes to sleep. If DS tries to help with naptime, I just remind him to use a quite voice and gentle touches because DD is sleepy and needs quiet time.

[Dahlea]

I got some books from the library on going from 1 to 2 but they were not helpful. They were more about the pregnancy and birth not after. There was an article on kellymom recently about it-I'd link it but I'm on my phone. Mine will e 21
months when the baby is born and I'm super nervous too and have been looking for any and all info and coming up empty! (if you're planning to tandem nurse, there's adventures in tandem nursing)

[frogautumn]

Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy

nak---I think there are no books on this subject because nobody with more than one would have time to write such a thing. Or read it.

baby in arms and toddler going potty, will be back later with a 'real" response....

This is such a great point! I do wish there were more resources on this subject because the transition from 1 to 2 children was sooo much harder on me than I anticipated.

Best advice is, you WILL get through it!

[kitikatuka]

This is all very helpful -- especially hearing how you've done things, Nicole, and also hearing that there just may not be any good, appropriate (especially for this young age) books that deal with such topics.

If anyone else would like to share how they've worked some things out with their little ones, I am all ears here!

[bubbledumpster]

You will probably find babybunching.com to be very helpful! They cover lots of stuff ranging from what the best stroller for toddler and baby is to how to handle naptimes, outings, and bedtimes.

[kitikatuka]

Thanks bubbledumpster! I've spent two happy days (okay - more like two little stretches of time) on babybunching.com. What a great resource - perfect! - thanks so much for sharing!

[lairaja]

babybunching.com seems to be gone! Am I missing something?I really want to check it out.

I have a 31 mo DS and a 4 mo DD, and everyday is an adventure. My best general advice is to let go of the idea that you can do everything the same way with #2 as you did with #1. I have had to make a conscious decision to let go of guilt about my daughter not getting my undivided attention, and that my son now has to wait for things I used to anticipate and provide immediately. They are different people, and their lives are supposed to be different.

Going from 1 to 2 is HARD. So take it easy on yourself, ask for (and receive!) help, and remember you are doing the best you can!

That being said, I couldn't live without babywearing and strategically-placed bouncy seats and swings. And, yeah, I'm allowing much more TV/DVD time for my son. Which I never thought I would do, but at least it is PBS. And it can make a huge difference in my sanity level, so I forgive myself for lowering my standards a bit.

Good luck, enjoy watching a lifelong relationship forming between your two LO's! It's worth it!

[kitikatuka]

lairaja - I had similar trouble finding babybunching. I'm not sure why, but this URL will take you there:

http://www.babybunching.com/

And - thank you for the advice!