Do you have a house cleaner? - Page 3

[*bejeweled*]

Originally Posted by ErinBird

I don't think a SAHP is supposed to be able to balance childrearing/cooking/cleaning/errands/other aspects of household management with just a bit of assistance from their partner. Either you learn to live with lowered standards, stress and lose sleep trying to do it all, or outsource. I'm not willing to simplify my cooking or find childcare for a few hours a week, but I am willing to hire a housekeeper.

I agree ErinBird.

[ledzepplon]

Originally Posted by mbhf

Come on. This may be so for you, but it's kind of insulting to SAHMs who do all of the things you mention with little to no help to say that they have lower standards or stress and lose sleep trying to do it.

I swear I'm not being snarky, but how do you not stress, give up some sleep, or lower your standards and do EVERYTHING when you have four kids? I am baking our fourth, and the oldest is six years old. So while they do help with unloading the dishwasher and picking up toys, they really aren't capable of doing "bigger" cleaning/cooking/household chores.

I am a pretty hard worker, but I'm still human, and I maybe *could* do it all if I sacrificed somewhere else--family time when dh comes home, sleep, or sanity--but I certainly don't want to live that way. Up until the last fifty or so years, at least in the United States, it was quite common for SAHM's to have even daily help cleaning or cooking or caretaking, and we also had, in some cases, tighter SAHM "networks" to help each other out. I don't mean that these mothers had it "easy," but they weren't expected to do everything alone, either.

Really I'm not trying to argue or be preachy. I just genuinely would love to be able to do it all, and I'm not sure how I could.

[artgoddess]

If we could afford it I would in a heart beat. When DP and I both worked full time and we didn't have kids so much more disposable income we had a lady come twice a month. Frankly I am just not as good at cleaning as she was. Today to get just one room in my house as clean, or almost as clean as she could, would mean both kids have to be at the park with dad and it would take two hours, just for the bathrooms alone. Forget getting the whole house done.

I pretty much surface clean day in and out and then when we have company coming, like yesterday I stress, become short tempered, and wear myself out for two days straight cleaning. It's not a fun way to keep the house up but it's what we do now since we can't afford any other way.

[neveryoumindthere]

Originally Posted by ledzepplon

I swear I'm not being snarky, but how do you not stress, give up some sleep, or lower your standards and do EVERYTHING when you have four kids? I am baking our fourth, and the oldest is six years old. So while they do help with unloading the dishwasher and picking up toys, they really aren't capable of doing "bigger" cleaning/cooking/household chores.

I am a pretty hard worker, but I'm still human, and I maybe *could* do it all if I sacrificed somewhere else--family time when dh comes home, sleep, or sanity--but I certainly don't want to live that way. Up until the last fifty or so years, at least in the United States, it was quite common for SAHM's to have even daily help cleaning or cooking or caretaking, and we also had, in some cases, tighter SAHM "networks" to help each other out. I don't mean that these mothers had it "easy," but they weren't expected to do everything alone, either.

Really I'm not trying to argue or be preachy. I just genuinely would love to be able to do it all, and I'm not sure how I could.

:

[SeekingJoy]

We don't right now, but apparently we should since my MIL just told DH our house is embarrasingly messy. (Nevermind how that is supposed to only be a reflection of me and not of DH or that she only comes over right before dinner during the middle of the week with everything is insanity anyway.)

[damona]

oh, how i wish...

i hate cleaning. i truly do. i can keep up with it, for awhile, once i've got the place spotless, but since that rarely happens, my house is usually in some stage of disaster. i have 4 sons, several of whom have special needs, and i swear, they simply follow behind me making messes as fast as i pick them up.

i know darn well i picked up and swept the living room before i went to bed at 4am (insomnia. ugh.), and when i came down at 9am, it was already covered in crumbs and toys and a few stray plates and cups, etc. and, honestly, i was just too tired to care

when we have a party or something, i literally don't sleep the night before b/c i wait til the boys are all asleep and then just tear the place apart all night. i'm usually just finishing by the time people get here.

my best friend and i take turns helping each other out with big stuff, like sorting out the vast piles of outgrown clothes, or cleaning carpets, but it would be so fabulous to have someone to help with the day to day stuff.

if i ever win the lottery, i am so hiring a service... twice a week would be beyond amazing for me.

[hillymum]

Yes we do! There is no way I could keep this whole house clean and cook and be a nice mom to the boys. As it is I surface clean the kitchen, breakfast room and family room every day and do the laundry. That takes almost 2 hours a day. I have to vacuum daily or I spend every minute sneezing due to allergies. I have spent the last year decluttering and there is significantly less "stuff" that gets moved around, but it is still enough to generate what to me is a mess which needs tidying every day.

[MissinNYC]

Up until the last fifty or so years, at least in the United States, it was quite common for SAHM's to have even daily help cleaning or cooking or caretaking, and we also had, in some cases, tighter SAHM "networks" to help each other out. I don't mean that these mothers had it "easy," but they weren't expected to do everything alone, either.

They did have help, but they also had no dishwashers, laundry machines, cars, lawnmowers, modern detergents, elevators, etc. There was a ton more work to be done, generally, and I don't think it's true that most women had help. Maybe some upper class women, but I don't think my grandmother's generation of middle/lower/working class women had help, nor her mother's.

I have a cleanish home, good dinners every night, 4 good kids, and I don't neglect my kids or marriage too much. I don't think this makes me amazing or perfect. Maybe I have lower standards because my baseboards aren't spotless, but I think some people can stay on top of the house, generally, without help.

Of course if I could afford a cleaner I wouldn't pass one up!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I dont have one but would in a heartbeat if I could afford it. I suck at housework always have and probably always will unless a miracle happens so help would be beyond awesome.

I am the only one who does anything to clean in this house of 4 people and I cannot keep up and I am unwilling to spend every waking moment trying to.

[ledzepplon]

Originally Posted by MissinNYC

They did have help, but they also had no dishwashers, laundry machines, cars, lawnmowers, modern detergents, elevators, etc. There was a ton more work to be done, generally, and I don't think it's true that most women had help. Maybe some upper class women, but I don't think my grandmother's generation of middle/lower/working class women had help, nor her mother's.

You know, this may be too off topic, but I actually read something a while back that said that all of our modern "conveniences" don't really save us time. Because, for example, while we have washing machines, the average person now has way more clothes than back in the day. (Although I personally can't fathom diapers by hand!) I totally have fantasies, probably unrealistic, about living like they did in 1930. Only with antibiotics and hot water.

[mbhf]

Originally Posted by ledzepplon

I swear I'm not being snarky, but how do you not stress, give up some sleep, or lower your standards and do EVERYTHING when you have four kids? I am baking our fourth, and the oldest is six years old. So while they do help with unloading the dishwasher and picking up toys, they really aren't capable of doing "bigger" cleaning/cooking/household chores.

I am a pretty hard worker, but I'm still human, and I maybe *could* do it all if I sacrificed somewhere else--family time when dh comes home, sleep, or sanity--but I certainly don't want to live that way. Up until the last fifty or so years, at least in the United States, it was quite common for SAHM's to have even daily help cleaning or cooking or caretaking, and we also had, in some cases, tighter SAHM "networks" to help each other out. I don't mean that these mothers had it "easy," but they weren't expected to do everything alone, either.

Really I'm not trying to argue or be preachy. I just genuinely would love to be able to do it all, and I'm not sure how I could.

I've hit reply to this at least once and I'm not really sure what to say. There's no magic answer, I don't do anything special, I just do it. Generally one room gets really cleaned once a week, or I guess each category of room. Each room gets picked up every day. I just keep up with everything, very rarely does anything get to the point where I can't have it clean within 10 minutes or so.

I don't spend a lot of time cleaning, I would say less than 2 hours total every day, and most of that is 10 minutes here 5 minutes there. I spray and wipe the sink and toilet every morning, and swish out the bowl. It takes less than 1 minute. I make sure to rinse the bathtub with very hot water after it drains so I don't have to spend much time scrubbing it every week. I wipe stuff up as soon as I see a spill so I don't have to spend time scrubbing spinach and spaghetti sauce off of the floor the next day.

I don't know, I've just found that if I do a few minutes here and there throughout the day I don't have to spend a lot of time cleaning. If dinner is going to take a lot of prep work I do it in the morning or afternoon so I can just pop it in the oven when we get home from school pickup. We eat early now (about 4) because my dh is not home until bedtime but I have cooked dinner in the afternoon for years because it is generally a lot easier for me to do it then than it is in the evening. Sure, every once in a while I will just take the kids to bed before having them pick up their rooms and the living room so I can just come out and do it myself in less than half of the time, so I guess maybe that's me lowering my standards, but I feel like that's pretty normal after a busy day.

I hang out with my kids, we go places a lot (which helps keep the house clean, if no one is home all day it can't get messy), I spend as much time with my dh as possible given his work schedule, I don't know. I don't feel like I'm doing anything special.

[nichole]

NO, but I wish I did. That would be awesome!

I've learned that cleaning the bathroom doesn't take as long if you stay on top of it. I've found that vacuuming and dusting will be there when I get to it, unlike the bathroom where things just get harder and harder to scrub the longer you wait.

I plan on having my children doing lots of chores this summer (within reason).

I like to do a little everyday, but I find that I really need one day that is a stay at home day, so that we can catch up on chores.

[nichole]

Originally Posted by ledzepplon

I swear I'm not being snarky, but how do you not stress, give up some sleep, or lower your standards and do EVERYTHING when you have four kids? I am baking our fourth, and the oldest is six years old. So while they do help with unloading the dishwasher and picking up toys, they really aren't capable of doing "bigger" cleaning/cooking/household chores.

Four is a lot. I don't think I could handle any more responsibility than I already have, and I only have 2. Everyone is different though.

[*bejeweled*]

Maybe you're Superwoman. It's not that easy for most.

Originally Posted by mbhf

I've hit reply to this at least once and I'm not really sure what to say. There's no magic answer, I don't do anything special, I just do it. Generally one room gets really cleaned once a week, or I guess each category of room. Each room gets picked up every day. I just keep up with everything, very rarely does anything get to the point where I can't have it clean within 10 minutes or so.

I don't spend a lot of time cleaning, I would say less than 2 hours total every day, and most of that is 10 minutes here 5 minutes there. I spray and wipe the sink and toilet every morning, and swish out the bowl. It takes less than 1 minute. I make sure to rinse the bathtub with very hot water after it drains so I don't have to spend much time scrubbing it every week. I wipe stuff up as soon as I see a spill so I don't have to spend time scrubbing spinach and spaghetti sauce off of the floor the next day.

I don't know, I've just found that if I do a few minutes here and there throughout the day I don't have to spend a lot of time cleaning. If dinner is going to take a lot of prep work I do it in the morning or afternoon so I can just pop it in the oven when we get home from school pickup. We eat early now (about 4) because my dh is not home until bedtime but I have cooked dinner in the afternoon for years because it is generally a lot easier for me to do it then than it is in the evening. Sure, every once in a while I will just take the kids to bed before having them pick up their rooms and the living room so I can just come out and do it myself in less than half of the time, so I guess maybe that's me lowering my standards, but I feel like that's pretty normal after a busy day.

I hang out with my kids, we go places a lot (which helps keep the house clean, if no one is home all day it can't get messy), I spend as much time with my dh as possible given his work schedule, I don't know. I don't feel like I'm doing anything special.

[junipervt]

nope, the only sahms that I know around here who do have dhs who make quite a bit of $. most of my sahm friends don't.

[sanguine_speed]

I think it's pretty impossible to judge anyone's situation though. One family's four children is different than another's in temperament and time need. Some houses have more bathrooms, or more space. Some people spend more time on preparing fresh foods than others. Some families prioritize certain activities that leave less time for cleaning, etc...

[Chicky2]

Originally Posted by ledzepplon

I swear I'm not being snarky, but how do you not stress, give up some sleep, or lower your standards and do EVERYTHING when you have four kids? I am baking our fourth, and the oldest is six years old. So while they do help with unloading the dishwasher and picking up toys, they really aren't capable of doing "bigger" cleaning/cooking/household chores.

I am a pretty hard worker, but I'm still human, and I maybe *could* do it all if I sacrificed somewhere else--family time when dh comes home, sleep, or sanity--but I certainly don't want to live that way. Up until the last fifty or so years, at least in the United States, it was quite common for SAHM's to have even daily help cleaning or cooking or caretaking, and we also had, in some cases, tighter SAHM "networks" to help each other out. I don't mean that these mothers had it "easy," but they weren't expected to do everything alone, either.

Really I'm not trying to argue or be preachy. I just genuinely would love to be able to do it all, and I'm not sure how I could.

When my kids were younger (even as recently as 2 yrs ago) I couldn't without stressing out, being a #itch sometimes, and without taking away from my kids or the food I prepare. In the last couple of years, though, they have gotten truly amazing. Now they have their dry erase board that they check off as they do each task (and the little geeks truly enjoying checking them off). I also have my 21 yo who pays her rent by doing the deep cleaning stuff once a week. She sweeps, mops, vacuums, cleans mirrors, general straightening, and all the counters and bathrooms. That's alot because we have 4 bathrooms, a pretty large kitchen, and she has 3 younger siblings who are here all the time, lol. She had her choice, though, and she chooses doing the work over paying us rent. I think it's a sweet deal for all involved. The younger kids have more time to take care of the livestock chores (feeding, watering, some of the raking, and all of the hauling the poo and bedding off to the compost heap or garden). I have ample (most days, I do have a 3 yo) time to handle all the finances and the cooking, gardening, processing of the harvest-meat or veggies, etc...and I feed them well. I also have meds and appts to take care of for my MIL (bipolar) and my 21 yo who has Aspergers and has trouble keeping up w/that stuff.

Originally Posted by sanguine_speed

I think it's pretty impossible to judge anyone's situation though. One family's four children is different than another's in temperament and time need. Some houses have more bathrooms, or more space. Some people spend more time on preparing fresh foods than others. Some families prioritize certain activities that leave less time for cleaning, etc...

Exactly.

[briansmama]

Yes, we have cleaners come every other week. We thought about giving up the service a few times, but DH knows other families who do not have it and the husbands end up helping out with the deep cleaning on the weekends, and he would rather pay $$ to have someone else do that than live in a dirty house or spend his weekends deep cleaning.

I spend so much time doing dishes, cooking food from scratch, homeschooling, grocery shopping, folding laundry, and generally picking up the house that I know we'd just have to live with a dirtier house is we didn't use the cleaning service.

But we definitely aren't rich- we justify it by giving up other things that mean less to us (eating out often, hiring babysitters, buying electronics, etc).

[Birdie B.]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who hires somebody to clean the house! I only have one child, but I hate hate hate cleaning, and my husband suggested we get a cleaner when the shower started getting mildewy and I hadn't gotten around to cleaning it. I love our cleaner, she is amazing, and she comes once a month to do the deep clean that I hate. It isn't that expensive to have her come once a month, and it's well worth it to us. I still do the day to day cleaning, but I don't have to scrub floors or dust.

I don't know if my SAHM friends have cleaners or not. I would guess not, because they all seem like they're better housekeepers than I am, but I don't know for sure.

[PancakesMancakes]

I our housecleaner. Sometimes I have her come twice a week