Hi Everyone,
I don't know where to start. My mind is spinning with all of the new information I just receieved about my son. Hopfully someone can have some words of advice on what to do next or if my plans for what to do next are missing anything. Some background on J, my son who is 11-years-old. J is the youngest of 3 kids. He had delayed speech but I thought it was just a youngest child speaks later stuff. At four I had him evualuated and they found he had significant speech delay. At 4 his speech was at an 18 month level and we found he needed tubes. Tubes where put in right before he started kindergarden.
In kinder we found that he was delayed. When he was coloring he would start with his left hand and then where most kids would move the paper to continue coloring J would switch hands and continue to color. He used both hands equally but when offered a pencil would always take it with his left hand first. At the end of Kinder they held him back and made him use his right hand, only. We were told that by using both hands it was holding J back and he was unable to master simple skills due to using both hands. He had his first IEP in Kinder for speech.
For the next 5 years (up to two weeks ago) I have repeatedly said there was something wrong with the way that J processes information. He isn't normal. To which I was told "well you have gifted children and J is normal so he appears slow but he really isn't." I want to make it clear J is an intelligent child with a vivid imagination.
When the IEP review for J's speech came up they were going to discontinue his speech because he tested out of speech and no longer qualified. When J's teacher got wind of this an IEP review meeting was called. To make a long story short they did a ton of testing, half of which I do not understand and did not have enough time to have my questions fully answered. During the meeting the speech therapist came under fire for discontinueing J's speech but as she stated he tested out of the guidelines for qualifying for speech, yet this is a child who no one but his family can understand, and even at times we have to ask him to repeat himself because we cannot understand him.
To sum it up J's speech is not understandable by his teachers, or his peers. His handwriting is not legible and cannot be read by his teachers or his peers. J cannot be understood in speech by anyone outside of his family and his writing is not legible by anyone, including his family. He cries easily, has difficulty making and keeping friends at his own age level. Here are some of the test results. Full scale IQ - Low Average, Nonverbal IQ - Low Average, Verbal IQ - Low Average, Fluid Reasoning - Average, Knowledge - Average, Quantitative - Low Average, Visual-Spatial Processing - Borderline Delayed, Working Memory - Average. One test result that I found confusing is that they said his dibels score is effected because he mispronounces so many words then in the next paragraph say that he is above grade level on DIBELS assessments? They said that he can say and define words in a sentence but when given the word alone he is unable to do it. His teacher says that he reads and comperhends well and has great ideas but when asked to write those ideas on paper he struggles. What he wasn't given was a diagnosis. His IEP is under communication disorders. I was shocked to read/hear them say that J is aggressive on the playground and with his peers. J has never shown any agression nor have I ever been told J acted agressively towards anyone, let alone his peers.
His IEP has been revised from a speech IEP to a special education IEP. He will be given accomendations to teach him how to type, given more time when given longer assignments and those assignments will be broken down into smaller steps. If the assignment is a long written answer he will be allowed to type it rather than write it.
I have checked with my insurance and we are covered for OT, language and speech services and also for psychology. All of which I will be requesting on Monday.
Some of his behaviors are really ... odd. His room is a mess. I can tell him to pick up his clothes but he will pick up one shirt and then move on to something else. I have to stay in the room and give him one step at a time in order for it to be clean. I started putting out his clothes for him the night before and still have to check him before he leaves the house because he will put on dirty clothes and leave. He does things like will put on a shirt backwards and because the dirty is on the other side he "thinks" it is clean. He constantly loses things. We have started having anything that needs to be sent home sent with his brother or I never get it, it gets lost. He can spend hours and hours by himself playing. He takes things that others would see as trash, such as empty grocey store bags and makes toys out of them. If you try and throw them away he gets distraught that you would throw his toys away.
Now on for the broken hearted mom. J is such a sensitive child. One who is easily hurt, finds the good in everyone and everything. After the meeting at the school I came home and cried. My heart broke for this child of mine who struggles so hard and I didn't even realize just how much. Getting J to do any homework is difficult to say the least. No amount of consequences will get him to do it. At school they have started to reward (bribe) him to do and turn in his homework. They are having J volunteer in the special needs classroom for the kids with more challenges. J came home from school when he found and he was so excited about it. His exact words were "Mom guess what I get to do? I get to serve the other kids, what an honor it is to be able to help and be of service to them." All said with a huge smile on his face. This is the same child who is bullied, teased, called names and cannot communicate, for the most part, with his peers..... my heart breaks for him
I don't know where to start. My mind is spinning with all of the new information I just receieved about my son. Hopfully someone can have some words of advice on what to do next or if my plans for what to do next are missing anything. Some background on J, my son who is 11-years-old. J is the youngest of 3 kids. He had delayed speech but I thought it was just a youngest child speaks later stuff. At four I had him evualuated and they found he had significant speech delay. At 4 his speech was at an 18 month level and we found he needed tubes. Tubes where put in right before he started kindergarden.
In kinder we found that he was delayed. When he was coloring he would start with his left hand and then where most kids would move the paper to continue coloring J would switch hands and continue to color. He used both hands equally but when offered a pencil would always take it with his left hand first. At the end of Kinder they held him back and made him use his right hand, only. We were told that by using both hands it was holding J back and he was unable to master simple skills due to using both hands. He had his first IEP in Kinder for speech.
For the next 5 years (up to two weeks ago) I have repeatedly said there was something wrong with the way that J processes information. He isn't normal. To which I was told "well you have gifted children and J is normal so he appears slow but he really isn't." I want to make it clear J is an intelligent child with a vivid imagination.
When the IEP review for J's speech came up they were going to discontinue his speech because he tested out of speech and no longer qualified. When J's teacher got wind of this an IEP review meeting was called. To make a long story short they did a ton of testing, half of which I do not understand and did not have enough time to have my questions fully answered. During the meeting the speech therapist came under fire for discontinueing J's speech but as she stated he tested out of the guidelines for qualifying for speech, yet this is a child who no one but his family can understand, and even at times we have to ask him to repeat himself because we cannot understand him.
To sum it up J's speech is not understandable by his teachers, or his peers. His handwriting is not legible and cannot be read by his teachers or his peers. J cannot be understood in speech by anyone outside of his family and his writing is not legible by anyone, including his family. He cries easily, has difficulty making and keeping friends at his own age level. Here are some of the test results. Full scale IQ - Low Average, Nonverbal IQ - Low Average, Verbal IQ - Low Average, Fluid Reasoning - Average, Knowledge - Average, Quantitative - Low Average, Visual-Spatial Processing - Borderline Delayed, Working Memory - Average. One test result that I found confusing is that they said his dibels score is effected because he mispronounces so many words then in the next paragraph say that he is above grade level on DIBELS assessments? They said that he can say and define words in a sentence but when given the word alone he is unable to do it. His teacher says that he reads and comperhends well and has great ideas but when asked to write those ideas on paper he struggles. What he wasn't given was a diagnosis. His IEP is under communication disorders. I was shocked to read/hear them say that J is aggressive on the playground and with his peers. J has never shown any agression nor have I ever been told J acted agressively towards anyone, let alone his peers.
His IEP has been revised from a speech IEP to a special education IEP. He will be given accomendations to teach him how to type, given more time when given longer assignments and those assignments will be broken down into smaller steps. If the assignment is a long written answer he will be allowed to type it rather than write it.
I have checked with my insurance and we are covered for OT, language and speech services and also for psychology. All of which I will be requesting on Monday.
Some of his behaviors are really ... odd. His room is a mess. I can tell him to pick up his clothes but he will pick up one shirt and then move on to something else. I have to stay in the room and give him one step at a time in order for it to be clean. I started putting out his clothes for him the night before and still have to check him before he leaves the house because he will put on dirty clothes and leave. He does things like will put on a shirt backwards and because the dirty is on the other side he "thinks" it is clean. He constantly loses things. We have started having anything that needs to be sent home sent with his brother or I never get it, it gets lost. He can spend hours and hours by himself playing. He takes things that others would see as trash, such as empty grocey store bags and makes toys out of them. If you try and throw them away he gets distraught that you would throw his toys away.
Now on for the broken hearted mom. J is such a sensitive child. One who is easily hurt, finds the good in everyone and everything. After the meeting at the school I came home and cried. My heart broke for this child of mine who struggles so hard and I didn't even realize just how much. Getting J to do any homework is difficult to say the least. No amount of consequences will get him to do it. At school they have started to reward (bribe) him to do and turn in his homework. They are having J volunteer in the special needs classroom for the kids with more challenges. J came home from school when he found and he was so excited about it. His exact words were "Mom guess what I get to do? I get to serve the other kids, what an honor it is to be able to help and be of service to them." All said with a huge smile on his face. This is the same child who is bullied, teased, called names and cannot communicate, for the most part, with his peers..... my heart breaks for him
poor mama! J sounds like a wonderful boy who is trying his darndest!
