My Stupid Panic with a pre-k child

[Stacey B]

So we plan to homeschool. We always have. We're part of a co-op that has kids from 2 to 8 eight that we met up with once a week. We have "school time" when ds asks for it. I thought everything was going along swimmingly. Then this evening I was talking to my SIL who takes care of him once a week and she said that he's been talking about "when he goes to school in a few years." ACK!!! How do I explain to my 4 year old that he isn't going to go to school. How do I explain what homeschooling is about in a way that could sink in? Since we're leaning towards Unschooling we don't really "do" anything that sets learning apart from the rest of our lives.

Oh and he's and only so I'm not sure if that makes it even more confusing for him.

For those of you with older kids (which would be most of you) how did you introduce homeschooling to your dc?

[SundayCrepes]

When my son was about 3, a friend started preschool and a cousin started kindergarten. He would play, "Going to school." He didn't know what school was, just that that's where kids went. I told him, "Some kids go to school at school. Some kids do school at home. You're going to do school at home." Then when we would do something I'd say, "We're doing school at home." Even if we were driving to the gym or just painting at the table, I'd tell him how we were doing school at home and he seemed to accept that.

[sbgrace]

I did the same thing the pp mentioned. I explained that some kids do school at a building and some do school at home and we're doing school at home.
I did go on about how we could learn whatever he/they wanted since we were doing school at home, etc.
My kids did get fascinated with the idea of riding the school bus for a while. We went one town over and spent much of the day riding the city buses from place to place. They enjoyed it and never mentioned riding school buses again. Maybe they were just curious, I don't know!

[jenfl]

We also say that some kids go to school to learn, some kids learn at home from their mommies and daddies. It also made DD happy to call her gymnastics class her "school" and "teacher".

Now DD (3 yrs) announces to anyone who asks her about when she's starting school that she's homeschooled!

[greenmamapagan]

Originally Posted by SundayCrepes

When my son was about 3, a friend started preschool and a cousin started kindergarten. He would play, "Going to school." He didn't know what school was, just that that's where kids went. I told him, "Some kids go to school at school. Some kids do school at home. You're going to do school at home." Then when we would do something I'd say, "We're doing school at home." Even if we were driving to the gym or just painting at the table, I'd tell him how we were doing school at home and he seemed to accept that.

We do similar. We've been telling DD since she was 2 that she will do homeschool (we used to live near a school & she'd ask about the kids whenever we walked past) and we make a point of mentioning any older hs kids she knows or and any her age or younger who will be hs'd.

[LuxPerpetua]

My dd is 4.5 and she definitely knows we homeschool. It sort of happened just through conversation, as around age 3 it seemed like everyone started asking which preschool dd went to and I would reply that "we homeschool." I didn't even know that dd was paying attention and then one day out of the blue my mother was talking about "going to school" (grrr--my mother was having a hard time accepting that we would be hs-ing) and dd told her that she was homeschooled. After that she started asking about some of her friends who went to preschool and we talked about what homeschooling meant and what "going to school" meant. I explained that some kids learn at home and some kids learn in buildings. We talked about how nice it was that she and I would continue to be at home together and all of the fun stuff we do. I say that we already homeschool so that dd understands that learning happens all the time (we're unschooling inpsired ourselves). I'll be honest and say that when we talked about "going to school" I explained that kids were away from their parents and that many times they had to do things they were told to do instead of being able to choose (I wanted to be honest and not glorify the whole "going to school" thing). I also told her that many children like myself when I was a child wished they could be at home with their parents and that she was very blessed for being able to do that. I obviously do not believe in political correctness.

[eastkygal]

DD1 knows that she doesn't "go" to school in quite the same way many other children do on the school bus. She does "go" to school when we attend homeschool co-op and homeschool 4-H. She will ask what school are we going to today mama. And I'm like you, leaning/exploring unschooling, so while we "do" school its only when DD asks to do it, and it is what she would like to study that week. She's fine with this.

[cappuccinosmom]

My oldest also was telling people "I'm homeschooled" at age 4. When people asked me, I just told them we were planning to homeschool. No confusion for the kids and the only people who had problems with our homeschooling were some relatives of mine who already think I'm nuts so I didn't care about their opinion.

[laohaire]

My DD tried preschool but she stopped wanting to go. Everyone asks her if she's going to school, or sometimes they ask her if she's going to Kindergarten in the fall, but she just looks them in the eye and says "I only go to swim school!" (YMCA swim class). Lately I've been telling her, "you'll be schooling at home, so if anyone asks you can say you're homeschooled." I think that's all any of us really do.

Honestly, in my 4 year old's case, I'm pretty sure she doesn't really have any clue what school-school really is (nor homeschool nor does she have any clue she's being unschooled). Yes, she's gone to pre-school but she doesn't really have a concept for going to 1st grade and learning the 3 R's, or an a theoretical concept for 5th grade or junior high school. I don't know why she doesn't and other kids do (maybe because she doesn't watch TV shows that show school? She just watches Scooby-Doo and Dora videos sometimes).

So, I wanted to ask, why do you feel PANIC about this? A strong word... are you feeling judged (or afraid of it) by others, like your mother?

I haven't officially told my mother yet about homeschooling, but she HAS to suspect it. Just when I think she's not only figured it out but accepted it (about 4 months ago she mailed a preschool curriculum to us - we use it like unschoolers, which is to say it sits on the shelf until DD brings it to me, which sometimes she does!, and we turn to whatever page she likes). Then a week later she'll say something like "when she goes to Kindergarten..." Mothers!!

[Stacey B]

Originally Posted by laohaire

So, I wanted to ask, why do you feel PANIC about this? A strong word... are you feeling judged (or afraid of it) by others, like your mother?

I haven't officially told my mother yet about homeschooling, but she HAS to suspect it. Just when I think she's not only figured it out but accepted it (about 4 months ago she mailed a preschool curriculum to us - we use it like unschoolers, which is to say it sits on the shelf until DD brings it to me, which sometimes she does!, and we turn to whatever page she likes). Then a week later she'll say something like "when she goes to Kindergarten..." Mothers!!

Oh it's definitely a family thing. My family is very academic and adult centered. Most of my cousins are getting MDs, MAs and PhDs and really love what they are doing. The one time it came up with my father he wanted to know why I wanted to waist my time homeschooling (not that it wouldn't be good for Alder but that it would be interfering the "really important" things I'm doing).

This is why I called it STUPID PANIC because I know I get overly stressed about these things.

I do have to say everything people have said here have (once again) given me a great idea of how to talk to my ds about this. I love that this forum exists and that you are all so kind when it comes to questions I see it reading other people's questions how much time and thought people give to their answers. You all make me feel brave. Thank you.

[dubatatamama]

My DC are 4 and 3 and we are also part of a weekly co-op that sounds very similar to yours. I use the co-op to my advantage if the subject of "When will I go to school?" comes up. I say, "You know your friend ___, and ___? They go to school in a building. Now you know your other friends, __, ___, and ___? They go to school at home just like you!" I think explaining it to him that way helps him get it. My 3 year-old has not asked yet, but I will use the same explanation when it comes up with her.

If he really starts to press the issue and says he wants to go to school, I will ask him what it is he likes about the idea of school, and try to find a way to facilitate it (ie sometimes it is just about carrying a cool backpack/lunchbox, or riding the bus).

[CrazyCatLady]

I panicked a bit before we officially started our kindy year. I think it's normal.

We just always tell Zayla that she goes to home school. We also explain to her that that's why she takes all these classes, goes on all these field trips, can play with me at McDonalds at 11am on a Wednesday, comes shopping with me all the time, and why we get to go to our home school group park days.

When people ask her what school she goes to, she loves to tell them "I go to home school!" It's really not a big deal here at all.

Best of luck to you.

[Jungle Mama]

We do the full on pretend bus ride to school...backpacks on as we sit on the pretend bus as I talk like Ms. Frizzle and say "To the bus!" and "All Aboard!". Then we pretend to drive to school. Sometimes the bus flies to the moon. Sometimes the school is a tree house and we pretend to climb up the ladder. Then we start school from there. The Magic School House!