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Dingos Run in the Sun...Dingo Mamas June Thread! - Page 8

post #141 of 541
Catching up here.... Lisa and Jen. And reading along with the bullying stories... makes me sad, and angry, and reminds me of the hell that was 7th grade. Sigh.

RR: did two 6m runs while at MILs this weekend. Fought openly with her twice. (Once, when she told me, for like the fiftieth time, this totall bull**** story about how one branch of dh's cousins "all" are "built just like their grandmother" and thus "have to have C-sections." The evidence against this? Um, it's stupid. They're all built fine, and even if somehow three perfectly lovely size 12-16 women had "small pelvises" they could still have vaginal births. And although apparently all the babies born in that branch were born by C-section, at least one was totally voluntary, after the "breach" baby turned and the mama decided to just go for the C-section anyway, because she was there... I must just practice my polite nod, as my curt "That can't possibly be true" did not win me any friends.)

Managed a somewhat decent Saturday despite the usual m.o. being in place (with dh and MIL making plans that involve a lot of me waiting around doing nothing with the kids while what was supposed to end at noon takes until past 3pm... ) Took the kids to a local indoor climbing structure for the morning, which was good. The drive up and back was not horrible, but I am glad to be home.

I am off for a tub and theraputic liquor.
post #142 of 541
just popping in to see that drjen and fam are ok - glad to hear it!
post #143 of 541
drjen, glad you're OK, and I hope your town recovers well.

Lisa, healing to your Dad. I hope everyone does all right in the long run.

I took some major bullying in 7-8 grade. It was pretty terrible, and I sure hope I can outfit both my kids to care a lot less than I was programmed to care about my peers' opinions.

Penelope, good times with the MIL. Making me look forward to our family visit to the ILs coming up this year. Oy.

I haven't run in a couple days. Dh gave me an afternoon off yesterday and I went to see reb instead of running. It was good to see her, but I need a run today. And my to-do list is long. I'm not going in to the office, but I am apparently securing a loan for a tractor (we've tried with two tractors already but we need something a little larger than we've bought thus far). Also, we are out of barn lime, I have library books due, and someone has thawed a leg of lamb. And yesterday we took frames from two hives, so now I have about 20-30 pounds of honey I need to extract. Which means borrowing an extractor...and capping, spinning, straining, bottling...and then cleaning and returning the extractor.

And I don't hear goats yelling, which makes me think my mamas let the babies out again. As soon as I get this cup of coffee down, I guess I'll find out.
post #144 of 541
just a minute for an update. Dad is stuck in one room as it is just too painful to walk on crutches anywhere. has portapotty now. he has a walker, but way too painful for that. He needs care. When asked what hospital to take to, he told them, and then they totally IGNORED HIM and took him to the state hospital (which is awful!!). Any other hospital would NOT have sent my dad home to live alone if he could't walk or care for himself. SO ANGRY about that. So I have stayed since Saturday to help him and make food etc. I have to go home in a little to get my kids, but plan on coming back down with them (secluding them to the tv and the back yard, but what are you going to do??). I also work tonight, but his GF is coming late afternoon to stay the night, so he has care. My Dad is a great guy and I am so lucky to have an amazing hubby to take care of our kids so I can be down here with my Dad. Just supports my nursing desire and instincts. Someday.
post #145 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Plady View Post
Re:Bullying and general bad behavior in kids - A little girl told C the other day that this other girl (who is sort of a classic frenemy of dd's) called C a "bad word" behind her back. Little girl wouldn't repeat the word but pinky swore that it was true. So yesterday I was trying to explain that the only way to deal with this is to just let it go because there is no way to prove what/if anything was said. Frenemy will certainly deny any charges and that will be that. I tried to tie this in to how rumors are so hard to deal with because people tend to be willing to believe nasty stuff more easily than nice stuff but bottom line is that dd's feelings are hurt and I can't think of anything to make it better. Any ideas?
I've been pondering this because I'm trying to ponder as many of these situations as possible so I can help K as they come up. Things I might discuss with C:
*What do you think are the motivations of the little girl reporting the words of the frenemy? LG might say she's doing it to be C's friend (i.e. "C needs to know what fenemy is saying..."), but the outcome is to only hurt C's feelings directly. Not useful information for C even if it's true.
*Why do you think frenemy might be saying something like that? Are those words of a friend? Is she trying to win LG as a friend over C? (We see lots of pairing up amongst friends in DD's cohort -- threesomes are not tolerated -- so there's a lot of wedge driving going around).
*Showing that these things bother you will motivate these kids to keep taunting you.

Things C could have said (and can practice for the next time, 'cuz let's face it, there will be a next time)
*"LG, telling me this is not that different from you calling me that word." or "repeating these things is just as bad."
*"LG, it sounds like you are trying to hurt my feelings. It won't work." (even if it's not totally true, repeating it enough will start to make it true."

Things to talk to the school about:

*Use the names of the girls involved, lay out the situation without your interpretation (leave out the part where you doubt that frenemy would admit to saying it, etc.). This at least puts the teachers on notice as to who is not interacting well. That would include all three girls in this case.
*This is an age where these kids warm up for the cruelty of 7th grade
*Kids need to be taught how to interact. Left unsupervised during unstructured time makes things worse. It's not just the "victims" of the behavior (C), but all these kids.
post #146 of 541
Frenemy/bullying/jr high friends/girls issues leave me so lost. I know of a couple of times when I was clearly bullied but all I can say for sure is that I was unhappy socially and never secure in my friendships. It remember a daily wondering who was friends and who wasn't and not knowing where I stood. I also didn't know that I could decide for myself who I wanted for friends, I just did what I could to get by and took what came. While I have grown beyond most of this I still feel at the mercy of the situation too often and don't know how to help my children.

Lisa, how great for your dad that you can be there and be strong for him right now.

jo, your day makes my head spin.

penelope, in-laws are difficult for me but I think it is because nothing is out there, we are civil and communicate rarely. I crave closeness but probably not with them though heaven knows I have tried. I hope the runs help. My fil rides his bike for several hours a day when he visits, or did before the Parkinson's took over.

I got a good 6 mile run in averaging 8:15 minute miles in perfect weather after dropping the girls at school. Now I am of to spend my Monday on errands that will keep this place going smoothly.
post #147 of 541
On the bullying front, I've made a lot of headway with my "desperate to please" DD lately by talking about intentions. Mainly, when people act this way (bullying, being two-faced, etc..) what are their intentions? Certainly, they aren't being nice. They know that. They aren't being "misunderstood", which my DD claims a lot.

They have intentions to make others feel bad. Once DD started to understand that, it was a whole new thing. She can see that people aren't all just trying to make friends like she is. I don't think it will make it hurt less, but it will probably help her not repeatedly put herself in the position of being bullied.

No Fm today, just walking the dog.
post #148 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by tjsmama View Post
Real, I can't wait to hopefully run with you next year!!! We'll get that sub-9 pace yet! Make your DH run with R and we'll meet them after breakfast.
That is a brilliant plan. We'll have to see if R will go for it. She did run with DH over the weekend.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geofizz View Post
DD is in gifted 5th grade math for next year.


RM-- for your Dad. I hope he gets some good pain relief soon.

DrJen--glad the tornado spared you. Ironically, those are one of R's biggest fears, even though we don't have many in Colorado, and most of the ones that do are east of here. It's not like I've told her about all the times the sky turned green as we went down to the basement as a kid, so I'm not sure where the fear came from.

Plady--more for your SIL

grnmtnmama--nice job on the tri!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Penelope View Post
Managed a somewhat decent Saturday despite the usual m.o. being in place (with dh and MIL making plans that involve a lot of me waiting around doing nothing with the kids while what was supposed to end at noon takes until past 3pm... )
Ugh--we've been there too. Hope this week is much better.

Got three runs and a hike (only 4 miles, but with a 600 ft elevation gain) in while we were in the mountains last week. I'm hoping it will pay off once I start pushing the stroller. I had a fantasy of running to my sister's with the girls in the stroller, but then I remembered it's suppose to be 95 today and I'd have to be insane. Hopefully I'll get out tonight after dinner (probably with the girls, or at least one of them). Or maybe after R's in bed. I don't usually run outdoors at night, but it might be worth it for cooler temps. OR there's always the dreadmill....

Oh, DrJen--can you put me down for the Habitat Hobble 5k on June 19? http://www.habitatgrandcounty.org/?p=38

ETA: AF has apparently returned. Grrr. I started spotting again on Thursday and it turned into some light bleeding. J isn't three months until Friday. I'm guessing the spotting from two weeks ago was part of the mid-cycle spotting I was having before getting pregnant with J, and that most of this is related to perimenopause. Or so I'm guessing, seeing as they saw all my reproductive organs up close and personal when J was born (that's the upside to surgery, right?) After nursing my first for over 4-1/2 years and nursing this one round the clock, you'd think it could hold off for at least 9 months. Or that my kids wouldn't have allergies.

OK, taking my crabby self off to the shower now that J is done nursing. Sorry--5 hours of sleep clearly isn't helping my mood.
post #149 of 541
RM ~ I can't believe they released your Dad?! But it's good that you are able to help him out there.

Jo ~ yikes! Your day is making my head spin too!

Penelope ~ ugh.... in laws.....

I'm volunteering at church for vacation bible school this week. Our church is very large, and VBX (as they call it) is a HUGE deal. Today there were 647 kids. I'm responsible for shepherding 15 3rd graders to all their activities. After jumping around and dancing and playing red rover and singing myself hoarse, I'm exhausted. One day down, only 4 more to go .

Tonight I'm swimming for sure.
post #150 of 541
fwiw, my head is spinning too. This is frickin ridiculous.
post #151 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Runningmommy View Post
just a minute for an update. Dad is stuck in one room as it is just too painful to walk on crutches anywhere. has portapotty now. he has a walker, but way too painful for that. He needs care. When asked what hospital to take to, he told them, and then they totally IGNORED HIM and took him to the state hospital (which is awful!!). Any other hospital would NOT have sent my dad home to live alone if he could't walk or care for himself. SO ANGRY about that. So I have stayed since Saturday to help him and make food etc. I have to go home in a little to get my kids, but plan on coming back down with them (secluding them to the tv and the back yard, but what are you going to do??). I also work tonight, but his GF is coming late afternoon to stay the night, so he has care. My Dad is a great guy and I am so lucky to have an amazing hubby to take care of our kids so I can be down here with my Dad. Just supports my nursing desire and instincts. Someday.
I missed this post.

I'm with JayGee -- he's been released? Really? Wha hhh ? My RP is a nursing home administrator and it sounds like he should have been sent to a nursing/rehab home at the minimum. They get all sorts of weird things -- people released much too soon when the hospital is booked up, and dropping to a trickle when the hospitals start to drop off in numbers. Bizarre world. You have a lovely family -- I hope you can get him and provide for him the help he needs.
post #152 of 541
RM - It's insane that they sent him home. This system is so effed up it just makes me want to .

Geo - I like the retort to LG. We did discuss the reasons that LG might have wanted to report the news, maybe even with elaboration. And as for Frenemy, she is a pretty spoiled kid and has a bit of a nasty streak - and she's almost a year younger than dd and though they are in the same grade some things are easier for dd and I suppose it might cause a little tension. They wouldn't have to give each other the time of day except that dh and I really like her parents and you know how rare it can be to really click with both halves of a couple. I haven't brought it up with any of the parents or teachers though, it seems kind of minor on the scale of nastiness that everyone is inevitably going to experience. Though the idea of this being a warm-up is making me rethink that. Gah! Why can't everyone just get along???

Nemesis - "Intention" is a good word to put into play.

Penelope - That whole IL scene is just a drag, I'm sorry that's the way it is.

Okay, just realized memiles is probably here, now and she's camping 2 miles from my house. I'm off to call and see about setting up a run!

Real - I feel your AF pain. No fair!
post #153 of 541
Plady ~ hope you get to meet up with memiles for that run!

Real ~ now that is TOTALLY unfair. With the hyperemesis, you'd think you could at least catch a break regarding AF.... .

I went to tri club swim tonight and it was great! The coach gave me some drills and small things to fix and I managed to cut 13 seconds off my 50 meter time ! Plus, it felt SO much easier and smoother ! Can't wait to get back to the pool tomorrow and put my new skills into practice.

ETA: I've got my compartment testing tomorrow morning! Wish me luck (and minimal pain...)!
post #154 of 541
rm~That is SO not ok that they sent him home. I'm pretty sure that a social worker is supposed to clear anyone living alone that they either can take care of themself sufficiently or can stay with someone else until they can. Ugh. I'm glad that you're able to help out, even though I'm sure it's completely stressful!

jaygee~ for your testing tomorrow.


Phew. It's been a day. I had an orientation for my online class first thing this morning, which I was late for because I had to take the dog to the groomer. Luckily, I didn't seem to miss too much, and I do feel a little better about the class after hearing a little more info. It's going to be some work, but not too horrible. Just a lot of reading for the most part. Two short-ish papers, and a group project, which I'm not really sure how that works considering it's online. Now I'm just panicking about my lecture classes tomorrow. I haven't had a lecture class since all this technological stuff started up. I'm used to taking notes in a notebook. The recommendations that we've been given are to either print out pdf pages of the lecture notes to write on (thereby killing trees and my wallet with ink for my printer) or to type notes into the powerpoint of the lecture notes itself (thereby leaving me with a computer screen to study, not my first choice). I think I may try the laptop tomorrow, just because I don't want to print out a bazillion pages when I may not even really need them. Blech.

I had planned to get a quick swim in before spin class since I most likely won't get a workout in either tomorrow or Thursday, but the groomer didn't get the dog done in time, so it was spin class only. And I didn't go particularly hard, since my legs are still sore from yesterday. Oh well. I then spent the afternoon getting my house in order, like I meant to before the nanny started last week. Mind you, it's not really "clean", but everything is put away, I got the office cleaned/sorted/organized yesterday so you can actually enter it, and I vacuumed. The bathroom and kitchen could really use an actual cleaning, but it's a start at least. Now I just need to get organized for class tomorrow, get organized for the nanny (I want to put together some sort of info sheet for her), and finish writing the thank-you notes for DS's bday presents. Blech. Oh, and get to bed at a decent hour so I'm well rested for class. HA!
post #155 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by tjsmama View Post
I'm used to taking notes in a notebook. The recommendations that we've been given are to either print out pdf pages of the lecture notes to write on (thereby killing trees and my wallet with ink for my printer) or to type notes into the powerpoint of the lecture notes itself (thereby leaving me with a computer screen to study, not my first choice). I think I may try the laptop tomorrow, just because I don't want to print out a bazillion pages when I may not even really need them. Blech.
Are you printing in powerpoint? If so, when you get to the print dialog box there's an option for "print handouts" and it lets you pick how many slides per page. My students who take notes this way tell me they print 3 slides per page and it will put lines there for you to write on. I do that, but on the lines I write the stuff I want to say about the slide. I think you can print up to 6 per page?
post #156 of 541
Runningmommy--I'm so sorry about your dad! Is there any chance he could get into a rehab place now? Or get nursing care into the house? It's great that you are able to help him out, but there should be a support system in place so you don't have to do all of the work.

Jo--I'm so jealous that you have your own honey. Did you manage to
capture (is that an offensive term? entice?) another swarm of bees? The very thought terrifies me; bees are my one constant phobia.

Ack, bullying. I recently read "Queen Bees and Wannabees" and was scared to death for a day or so, thinking about the world our girls are growing up in. The book had lots of scary things to say about drinking and drugs, sex and dating, self esteem, and lots of other topics. Then I talked myself down when I looked at the publication date--2002. Published seven years after I graduated from high school, so likely some of these horror stories were in the same time frame that I was in school. And NO girl I ever interacted with was performing oral sex on groups of boys while high at parties when their parents were away for the weekend, I can tell you that. I'm a prime advertisement for parental connection being an antidote to peer nonsense.

I was totally nerdy and never had a big group of friends, but I also never cared about belonging and I certainly wouldn't have jumped through hoops to
make it into the popular group. My parents thought the sun rose and set on me and they told me so all the time. I had one close friend who didn't go to my school, and a handful of acquaintances who did, and that was fine.

Our strategy with DD at this point is to have her in a few groups--playgroup, ballet, soccer--that will give her opportunities to make friends, so she will have people to turn to even if things go badly at school. And, as is likely obvious from my conversation recently, I'm reading like crazy to gain strategies for if things do go badly. I'm still nerdy like that.

Thus far she is oblivious to the fact that she is being excluded even when it happens. Fingers crossed that she is able to hold onto that casual attitude about people who don't want to play with her.

Managed to run four miles today, but it was in the evening, which I hate. I'm on my way up to bed in the hopes that tomorrow morning I'll be able to drag myself out on the roads early.
post #157 of 541
<--Me at work.

RM, this does sound terrible, like he's in far too fragile/injured a state to be alone in his home. Not cool. Can a doc refer him for better care?

La, I caught just one swarm, but when we took honey it looked like we may have prevented another swarm. (All in all, probably a good thing.) Don't be jealous, really. It's just another thing to do.

I'm several days without running. Dh has sucked away my mojo, I fear, and the perfect storm of Work Crazy + Summer Vacation is pulling me into the riptide of No Running. Must...swim...sideways...

Will run tomorrow, and then when I finish, maybe I'll tack on 2 more miles just as penance for not running. We'll just see. So, goodnight.
post #158 of 541
kerc~We have copies of the lecture notes that we can download in powerpoint, or in PDFs of the powerpoints with either 3 or 6 slides per page. I guess I could always type into powerpoint and then print off to study, if I feel like I need to. I think the first week or two are just going to be kind of figuring out what works for me. We have exams every week, so I should be able to figure out pretty quickly if it's working for me or not, I guess!
post #159 of 541
Help! What does this sound like to you guys? I had a killer tkd class and rode my bike over and back (6 miles) for the first time in many moons. Everything felt fine, I got off my bike, walked in the house and suddenly it felt like the back right corner of my calf muscle had burst. It totally hurts and it was kind of puffy right away. I iced, vit. I'd, Ben Gayed, and wrapped. I haven't heard back from Memiles yet but it's not looking up for a run. Oy. And dang. I was all determined to kick my car to the curb because I feel guilty driving it and then thinking or reading about all the poor people and animals being destroyed by that oil spill. Frick.
post #160 of 541
Plady, could it be a popliteus strain? Is it on the inside of the calf, or the outside? Closer to the knee or the ankle? (Listen to me, like I know what I'm talking about !)

Good luck with your class, Gaye! College for me was all notebooks and handwritten notes. I fear I would not do well with the current technology. Gah, I'm getting old!
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