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~*~*~Poly Families-- The Second Thread~*~*~ - Page 2

post #21 of 268
yay! A new thread! I'm Kelly from Northern Vermont! My primary partner and I have been together for 11 years and we have three children. Currently we have had to much going on to start any new relationships but have been making lots of new connections!

It will be nice to hear from other poly people
post #22 of 268
WARNING: pouty, whiney post to follow:

I want a girlfriend I feel a distinct empty feeling like there are supposed to be three adults in our family and there is a woman out there...I love my husband and we meet each other's needs nicely, I guess I am just lonely for someone I don't even know yet?

[/pout-whine]
post #23 of 268
Quote:
Originally Posted by somanythings View Post
WARNING: pouty, whiney post to follow:

I want a girlfriend I feel a distinct empty feeling like there are supposed to be three adults in our family and there is a woman out there...I love my husband and we meet each other's needs nicely, I guess I am just lonely for someone I don't even know yet?

[/pout-whine]
I am right there with you!
post #24 of 268
I would love a GF too. One that was mine all mine mwahahaha....ahem.
post #25 of 268
Well it's just a few weeks after saying I was done with boys (and maybe girls) and dating for a while...and now it looks like I have a boyfriend.

So far he's great. Maybe I have grown up some and am choosing better people. Only time will tell. I haven't even had the poly discussion with him yet but my poly preference was plastered all over the online profile that he first met me on. So he has to a least be a little aware of it.

One thing at a time though. But right now I'm all giddy and excited about him. I feel like I'm 15 again.
post #26 of 268
So a question for you all. Are you open with your family about being poly? Do you tell others that you are ?
post #27 of 268
We are pretty open about being poly & if the family doesn't know, it's because they choose not to know, you know? They are very good at not acknowledging what they don't get. But we have been who we are and I think it goes the same with friends & co-workers... if they are the type of folk who ask the right types of questions then they are aware. We don't hide it, we also don't broadcast it.
post #28 of 268
Nothing would surprise my family anymore yk? I took two girls as my dates to one of my high school dances. They know but we don't really discuss it ever. Me and my decisions get nothing more than a raised eyebrow anymore, if that.

However my family isn't religious (expect for some pagan folk) and there have been other poly people in my family. So I'm not the trail blazer here.
post #29 of 268

Am I open to family?

Mark does not feel comfortable to be open to our parents, particularly his. I barely communicate with mine, so it is not really necessary to deal with that. His brothers are aware that we are in an open relationship. I'm fairly open in general with all the local people that know me. Our family does not live near us.

Mark and I are attending a Munch tonight. A local poly friend is going with us. We do not have any munches near us, so we are traveling to Yonkers, NY. It is about a 45 min drive.

Enjoy!
post #30 of 268
shanetedissac - Have fun at the munch and let us know how it goes I go to one every second Saturday, plus another event (Kinky Coffee) on the last Wednesday of each month. I don't know what I'd do without my kinky family.

As far as family being "in the know" about my being poly.... not so much. My mom knows about my fiance, of course and she knows I have a girlfriend but if she knew about my Sir (who is *not* my fiance) or the flirtation I have going with a transgendered individual she'd probably freak out. I'm not close enough to any of my other family for them to have any need to know.
post #31 of 268
Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyCatLady View Post
Nothing would surprise my family anymore yk?
Sounds like my family... dreadlocks, tattoos, etc. doesn't even raise an eyebrow (although when I dye my dreads magenta this fall that might ). I hear a lot of ... "That's Aimee being Aimee." when aunts or uncles comment to my dad about whatever I am doing, wearing or whatever. My mother uses her blindness to stay as ignorant as she wants to be.
post #32 of 268
I haven't been to a munch in forever... the ones "close to us," are at least an hour away and on evenings that make it impossible for both DP & I to go.

I am just not interested in driving half way across the state by myself these days. Maybe in a another couple of years or three when DS is old enough to be home alone for a couple hours, I'll see if there is enough interest to start one on my end of the state. Hmmm... or maybe run a child-friendly group idea by the state-wide online group.
post #33 of 268
Me and my partner are beginning to explore becoming more openly Poly, and I have a question for those of you who have school age children/ or grown kids now. What did you tell the what didn't you tell them? Did any of you kids have problems with being tormented or excluded by peers or any thing like that? How did your kids react when they became aware of your life style? Thanks for any answers you are willing to share.
post #34 of 268
Can I just rant for a min about my secondary?

He moved in with my hubby and I in January. I will say that I love him as a primary.

but he never considers my feelings. for instance, last night I asked him to move his laundry from the dryer so I could do the kids clothes before we go on a trip. I cannot do it tomorrow because I will be packing so we can leave Thursday. Today, I go to do laundry and the clothes are still in there, not to mention a pile on the dryer so large i have no where to put my basket full of clothes. I get on IM and am furious. This happens every.single.week. I do the kids clothes and my boys do their own clothes to help out. He says he thought i just said empty the washer, which apparently was full too. Really? I need to do clothes and the last thing I want to do is haul his immensly large clothing piles back into the house(we have a detached laundry room) so i can dry clothes? He really thought i just needed to washer? He doesnt get home until 7 p.m. and by then i am too exhausted to switch dryer loads. I give him the weekend to do laundry. TWO DAYS. But he still somehow manages to forget his clothes and leave them for me to do, which I refuse.
I am just so livid. This is a greater pattern of his inconsideration. he leave towels on the floor in the bathroom, doesn't reuse towels, leaves trash in his room, plates all over the living room,etc. You get the point.

So tired of being his mommy And with my IUD causing serious hormonal problems, i need support. But instead I am picking up his clothes from around the living room and doing his laundry.

argh.
post #35 of 268
We are meeting a possible girlfriend today for lunch! I am so excited I just love NRE it brings so much excitement to life!

Will post details later
post #36 of 268
Quote:
We are meeting a possible girlfriend today for lunch! I am so excited I just love NRE it brings so much excitement to life!
I'm excited to hear about how it went. I also love that NRE. I'm in the middle of it right now with this new guy and it's the best.
post #37 of 268
Hi there

I'm Kel, new to the MDC forums because it seems a little more accepting to different family types than the other forum that I'm on. I'm so excited to find a poly thread!

I've got a DH, a BF, and am TTC with my BF seeing as how DH and I are both carriers for the cystic fibrosis gene and don't want to risk having a child with CF.
post #38 of 268
Our ideal situation would be to find a couple that we click with and that has kids and is into NFL. really good friends that we can go to parks, hiking etc and of course develop a deep connection to,

we tried this with some good friend of mine. DH and I and my friend definitely had a lot of chemistry (lots of steamy fun) but her DH wasn't really fun or my type. I didn't connect to him at all and for me connecting on a mental level is a really big part of attraction. I'm not really into quiet or serious people and they must be smart, passionate about something and funny.

DH and I did have a good friend and we saw her for awhile but she ended up getting back with her ex who is not poly.

I'm definitely not into living with anyone else. we both are really scared of drama and are really cautious.
post #39 of 268
Quote:
Originally Posted by somanythings View Post
WARNING: pouty, whiney post to follow:

I want a girlfriend I feel a distinct empty feeling like there are supposed to be three adults in our family and there is a woman out there...I love my husband and we meet each other's needs nicely, I guess I am just lonely for someone I don't even know yet?

[/pout-whine]
I feel like I could have written this exact post. Those exact words. I have tried to talk to my DH about it multiple times but he seems so closed to the idea. He thinks it is absolutely impossible to love more than one person at a time, while my heart feels like it's impossible not to, or at least to not want to. We've only been married 3 years and we're both young (23 & 24), so I'm hoping with time, he'll be more and more open to the idea.
post #40 of 268
Quote:
Originally Posted by RainRaven View Post
Me and my partner are beginning to explore becoming more openly Poly, and I have a question for those of you who have school age children/ or grown kids now. What did you tell the what didn't you tell them? Did any of you kids have problems with being tormented or excluded by peers or any thing like that? How did your kids react when they became aware of your life style? Thanks for any answers you are willing to share.
Totally crashing your thread, as we are not poly, but I wanted to add my experience in case it might be helpful. I dated a guy towards the end of high school and through college whose (married, opposite sex) parents were poly. We just thought they were goofy. Of course they didn't make a big deal out of it, and we didn't ask them anything specific, so they didn't share anything specific. Which was good. We teased them some (just because kids will tease their parents about anything), but they teased us right back (remember, no sex in the hot tub. it messes up the ph). Although our relationship didn't work out for other reasons, he and his sister are well adjusted and didn't seem bothered by it.

[/crash]
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