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~*~*~Poly Families-- The Second Thread~*~*~ - Page 14

post #261 of 268

Jumping back in here. I've identified as poly for ~7 years, and haven't been monogamous since high school. This is my first time as poly and single though! I haven't really been single for any extended period of time since I was 14. 

post #262 of 268

Yay! Activity... :)



My introduction to polyamory was this (just typed it for another board, lol)

In accident by high school was my first intro, but I didn’t know that’s what it was called then. I was the new kid and I ended up having a very strong attraction to this guy who introduced himself to me. Shortly after, I found out he was dating this guy. I sort of “gave up”. He kept flirting with me though. And so did his boyfriend. They explained that they dated each other. We all started dating each other and then I think each of them (and myself) all had one other partner. It lasted a few months, which for a high school “experimental thing” I think isn’t that bad.

Fast forward about 2 years. My ex (of 6 years) and I started monogamous.
About a year in, we had a conversation with a friend of ours, older than us by about 15-20 years, sat us down and told us he could tell there were other people at the party we were interested in. He asked why we didn’t run with it if we knew we loved each other.
Now granted, he was talking about just having sex with other people. But the more I talked about it with my ex, the more we realized we could expand that to relationships as well. We eventually broke up; but I still consider myself poly.


Much like yourself, I have been in at least one relationship pretty much nonstop since age 15. This is a new situation from me. I broke up with my ex-husband in April and had drifted away from the other person I was seeing about a month before that. From April to October I was completely single.


I started looking for people to get to know in October and ending up meeting this pretty awesome guy (A) on OKC in person the beginning of November. Neither of us are in a place where we can or want to settle down at this point, but we're having a blast. He actually broke the ice on this topic when he was talking about wanting to have a little bit of freedom and not being "responsible" for someone else's happiness. I explained to him about my poly past and he seemed relieved. So, we've both been given the green light to "date" other people as well. He and I are becoming a little more serious. Now it's less of a "this could end at any time" thing and more of a "OK, this person is going to be around for awhile" thing. He's not actively looking for anyone else at the moment, but I have started talking to another guy. I was forthcoming with A about the fact that I started talking to this other guy (J) in the past week, but was surprised that A actually wanted to know more about J and I. lol. I'm used to the don't lie to me, but I don't expect to know everything as long as your being safe approach.


All that being said, I'm sure this question has come up at some point in this threads existence, but how do you approach this with kids? I have a 7 and 4 year old. Neither has met A yet but they know about him, that I go out with him. He wants to meet them soon, but he is going through his mother having a terminal illness so lately he's just wanted to kind of escape everything. DD(4) has met J because he has a daughter the same age and they had a playdate.

post #263 of 268
I'm excited to find you guys!
I've got two kids under 5 and a developing poly life. DH and I have considered ourselves to be poly for about 2 years but put it on hold when our daughter was born (DH was defending his dissertation at the same time). We just didn't have the time or energy.

This fall I met a great woman who is either going to be an awesome best friend or a fun girlfriend; time will tell. I'm also dating her husband. The kids have met them both, but they have simply been introduced as Mummy's friends. At this point in the relationships and in my kids' development that seems both accurate and appropriate.
post #264 of 268

There has been a lot written about how coming to poly by way of cheating has been very difficult to achieve successfully. The key to a poly living is honest communication.

In regards to different styles, yup there are prolly too many to count. We are all individual and even at times our personal preferences change.

Start with honest communication, even if it hurts!

Good luck!

Hugs. joy.gif
post #265 of 268
Dhs gf of a year and half just got a bf ( a classmate of mine ) dh will be unavailable to her all of feb so he's not sure if they will continue sleeping together. Dh doesn't have romantic feelings for her and hes always felt bad about that since she did ask to be his gf.

Im pretty busy with work and school. My brief time at the end of summer where I was actively trying to meet people didn't pan out and I've stopped trying. It would be cool to but im so picky I just don't see if happening
post #266 of 268

Yay, this thread exists!

I'm a poly mama of 1 adorable little munchkin. I live in NC. I have 2 partners, my hubby and my boyfriend (LDR). I'd love to meet someone nearby. I'm bi, poly, demisexual, and a SAHM. That makes dating and meeting people kinda difficult, lol. We're looking to expand our family, hopefully with more partners as well as more little ones.

This thread deserves a bump! Hoping to maybe forge some friendships here with some local-ish crunchy poly families.

post #267 of 268
I have a real honest to goodness boyfriend! We've known each other a couple years. I've had my eye on him but timing wasn't right. Well we finally went out and its been wonderful ever since.

He's 100% my type. And I guess im his too smile.gif hea so romantic and funny. Im definitely in love. He's monogamous though but I we've talked about me being married and he hasn't seemed effected by that

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post #268 of 268
Dh and his gf petered out. Hes just cuddle friends with her

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