"you" time - Page 2

[mama_ani]

Our situation is unique because dh doesn't live with us. He gets whatever "me" time he needs just by staying at his place when he's not at work.
My "me" time is whatever mornings I go to the gym to exercise & put the Littles in child care there. I also have down time one morning a week when I go to a mom's group & they provide childcare.

[mamamoogs]

I havent had a a chance to read the other posts but No free time for me! Heck I am having a hard time gettting this psot up, the reason for possible mispelled words

Dh gets it in the morning before we wake at night when we do bedtime, and in between lunch at work driving to work driving home from work etc. I try to get up ealier but it is hard because my youngets still wakes several time a night and no DH does not get up with her...
So NO I get no me time and he just cant seem to get it.( as to why it bothers me)
I am a SAHM and a homeschooling mom... So the kiddos are home with me all day...

I shower with kids at the door, use the bathroom with kids at the door, eat sleep clean etc with kids at my side.... Which I am sure all mamas do but he blames me and says it is my fault for not taking me time, maybe it is,,, I cant seem to find the time... He works and when he is not at the office he is working from his laptop! The kids want to be with me all the time,,, I'm flattered but would love to shave my legs and shower in peace a few times a week..... KWIM? any advice I would love to hear it!

[savannah smiles]

We both try and exercise daily, so that's about an hour to each of us every day. Outside of that, we just let the other person know if we need some downtime and then take it. I find that with older kids (mine are 4 and 8) it's much easier to get downtime and I don't find I need it as urgently as I did when they were younger.

[InMediasRes]

We each have a scheduled night off, although DH's is much longer than mine because he doesn't have to be home for bedtime (baby still needs my boobs for bed ).

But we also can each ask for as much other time off as we need and it happens.

[bluebirdiemama]

when we need it, we ask for it. MOST of the time it happens.
And usually, by the time we ask for it, we reeeaaally NEED it

[Grace and Granola]

When my kids were really little, I got into a bad habit of waiting until I was at my breaking point before asking for a break. DH knew I was stressed, but he didn't know the answer was for me to leave.the.house. When my kids were about 2 and 3, we scheduled DH on bedtime duty on Friday and Sunday nights. So, after dinner on those nights I could do what I wanted. Alot of times, I just wanted some peace and quiet, but I found it extremely helpful to actually leave the house on one of those nights. After dinner, I say goodnight to the kids and usually head off to barnes and noble. I pick out a few books, get a drink, sit in a cushy chair and sit until they ask me to leave I needed to schedule it to make sure it could happen. DH was happy to oblige once he knew what I needed.

[Meksmama]

I chose DH gets I don't only because when I want to do something its a hassle and I have to ask my mother in law to come watch the kids but I feel guilty leaving them because they both CRY when I leave. DD is almost 6 and ds is a little over 2. I thought it would get easier to leave them but its getting harder... DH does what he wants when he wants works all day and stops by friends on way home and comes and goes as he pleases. It works for us I just get overwhelmed at times...

[limabean]

DH and I each have one evening per week to spend however we choose (mine is tonight -- I think I'll get a crossword puzzle book and a frilly coffee drink and chill out in a cafe for a while ), and if we have something scheduled beyond that we work it out between us, but it's usually fine. Little things like baths are a given -- we could each do something like that every night without getting any grief from the other.

Lots of times we choose to just hang out together as a family on our "free" nights, but it's nice to know that we can plan to go see a movie or have dinner with a friend or something if we want -- it's nice to be able to tell my friends, "I'm free any Thursday if you want to get together!" DH usually uses his free evening to go for a long run outside, since on other nights most of his running is on the boring treadmill, but sometimes he'll go hit golf balls or get together with a friend or something.

We also schedule couple time and one-on-one time between each parent and kid into our week -- that stuff is important, as is time to oneself, so it's a priority in our family.

I don't understand the concept of feeling guilty when kids are with their other parent. I think taking the time to nurture my relationships with my husband, each kid, and myself is an attribute and something to be proud of, not something to feel guilty about.

[Kelly1101]

"When either of us needs it we just ask for it and it happens"

We are also enjoying our last few months of having an easy only child (her brother is due in September), who goes to bed at 7 pm. So we usually set aside our "me" time and our "us" time for after 7. Every once in a while, he'll get home after having an awful, rough day, and need 30 minutes just to sit by himself and have no one talk to him. And every once in a while, as soon as he walks in the door I'm like "I need a shower, I need a snack, I need some time to get my sanity back." We try to cut each other a break, but if at all possible we try to save personal time for after the baby is in bed.