Freaking out!

[momtoS]

I have two little ones 5 and 3.

I just took a HPT because yesterday I walked by the calendar and I should have started af last week.

A + popped up immediately.

I am in shock.....I was done having children. I don't know how to tell DH.

I suffer from Hyperemesis. I am so so so so in shock......

[COgirl19]

It's ok mama. These things happen for a reason. This pregnancy was a total and utter shock for us - bad timing too. I had just started a new job, DH was (and still is) unemployed. But everything worked out with my mat leave, insurance and DH and we are really excited to welcome a new baby. It will be ok.

[momtoS]

I just have a total feeling of disbelief.

I am going to retest in the am.

I don't think I can do three children. There is so much that I am working on, and I am finally trying to get stuff organized.

I just feel tired.(Which was a reason I looked at the calendar)

Right now I feel in shock and a bit shakey.

[Ellen Griswold]

Mine are 3 and 7. I was also done. I was on birth control.
When the + popped up I almost passed out and smacked my head on the countertop.
I'm due in November.
I'll second the fact that things happen for a reason.

[CrazyCatLady]

I replied to your other thread. But now I see about the hyperemesis, so no wonder you're so scared. I suffer from it too, badly. That's also why I'm so scared and freaked out this time as well. When I saw the "yes" on my pregnancy test I fell to the ground crying "fuc*, fuc*, fuc*". For now I'm just praying this pregnancy turns out like my second, cause that was my best one so far. I have no words of wisdom because I'm shocked and scared too.

But I wanted to offer you another

[MaerynPearl]

My first and second were both surprises. Surprise condom baby (no rips, used it 100% correctly) and surprise birth control baby (never missed a pill yet there she is)

It was really hard to deal with... but now that they are here I wouldnt trade them for anything. May want to talk to your doctor/midwife about how it wasnt planned and ask if they can suggest someone to go to for counseling. Not saying to end the pregnancy (thats your choice, no one elses) but to help you come to terms with it. I wish I had so I could have bonded with the babies faster.

[Tizzy]

FWIW Everyone told me the 3rd was so much easier than the 2nd and I hoped and prayed that they were right...
And so far it is!
Such a huge adjustment going from 1 to 2 children, but the 3rd has just blended right in.

[VillageMom6]

I want to give you some encouragement... just because you've suffered from hyperemesis in the past does not mean you are doomed to it with other pregnancies.

My first two pregnancies were awful, requiring multiple i.v.s and old-school medications.

My third was adequate (no vomiting, just queasiness) and my 4th, 5th and 6th were great.

I've always heard that the baby you don't plan is the one who will be the biggest comfort to you in old age. I think folks were just saying that when I was in shock, but I can't imagine life without him.

Best wishes, hon!

[lillymonster]

hypermesis is terrible. I planned this one and having a hard time being happy about it

This is my second, it hasn't been as bad, (but still would be classified as bad by normal standards) The good thing is there are new drugs and treatments to try.

I wish you all the best and hope you have hardly any m/s with this one.

[MaerynPearl]

I had HG with DS... possible HG that was never diagnosed with DD and this time around... just pretty bad morning sickness. Was never bad enough to be considered HG and for the most part it was, by definition, MORNING sickness. While I would feel nauseous all day... I would only puke in the mornings.

[RedOakMomma]

I don't believe that things happen for a reason...it's just too harsh when you also try to fit losses and pain into that equation.

What I do believe is that, as humans, we are hard-wired to love our little ones. We are also pretty hard-wired to find balance and happiness in our lives (I'm not saying it isn't a struggle at times...but honestly, when things don't go our way, do we say "the heck with life," or do we march on and find our happinesses?).

I'm sure this is a shock. I'm so sorry about the dread of feeling so sick. I hope you can come to terms with this new page in your life, and that when you look back in a couple of years, you feel love for your new balance and happiness.

...and yes, #3 is pretty easy. We've done it twice now (we used to have one more child, and he isn't in my siggie). I also found that having a four-year (or almost) spacing between my oldest children and the new baby was wonderful. It's great spacing.

Best of luck to you, mama.

[pacifica]

Aww, thinking of you. This pregnancy was a surprise for me.....I was in shock for months. Now I'm so very excited!

[MaryLang]

#3 was a surprise and I remember feeling freaked out, my oldest was only 2 and I was in a panic, I wanted more kids but not so soon. My feeling changed when I started having what I thought was a certain m/c, never had so much bleeding even with a period, I went to the doc for an ultrasound only to see a very much healthy little one bouncing around in there and my life became about saving this baby. I felt so guilty for having been so afraid of pregnancy now that I was on the verge of losing that baby. She was born with a few issues and a heart defect and has been one of the greatest surprised of our life - changed our lives completely, and I could never imagine living on this earth without her. I know I could say that about all my kids, but #3 (the surprise, the one I didn't think I could handle) has taught us sooo much. You never know whats in the cards, sometimes its hard to understand/comprehend at first but things work out. I also want to give you a little hope that HG doesn't happen with every pregnancy, I had it with #2 and #3, but 1, 4, and 5 were fine. With those two I was in and out of the hospital every few weeks, on meds around the clock until the end, but my others were just normal 1st trimester morning sickness, so you never know for sure.

[BlackSheepPDX]

I know how you're feeling, mama. We were sure we were only having one. And then, on December 1, 2009, despite an IUD that had been in for over 2 years, I turned up a few days late, tested, and got, well, the shock of a lifetime. It took some soul searching, and some deep conversations with my DH, but we decided whoever it was that had decided to take up residence in my uterus was one determined being, and that we owed it to at least give it a fair shot. We had the IUD removed and just waited to see what happened. After a couple months of feeling shocked, scared (I had a 3rd degree tear with my first, and I wasn't at all mentally prepared to ever face that again), more than a little angry and a lot overwhelmed, we've come around to being honestly excited and happy, and looking forward to meeting this baby in August.

Don't be afraid to talk it out with your DH, and to feel the feelings that you're having. It's no small thing to face an unplanned pregnancy. It's a huge, huge thing. Hugs.

[momtoS]

Thank you for the replies.

I thought maybe I had a false positive so I did a second this morning...and it popped up immediately positive and was dark.

I am totally in shock. I kind of wish I could cry. BUT I can't....nothing.

I feel bad. It took 2.5 years to conceive my first. I should be happy.

I should be happy to welcome a new little one into my life.

BUT instead...I am just in shock.

I don't want to call and make appointments....but due to the hyperemesis I have to.

I don't want to tell DH. BUT I have to.

[etsdtm99]

aww it will be ok! I wasn't done having kids, and i am currently pregnant with a surprise sooner-than-planned baby.. i wanted to wait longer, i wanted DS to be at least a little older and i thought even then that it would take a while to get pregnant.. so I get the shock.. a surprise is shocking..

but try not to freak out just yet.. get yourself prepared, work on the shock.. and you never know how your body will react this time.. i got really sick with my first (threw up/felt horrible until 16-17 weeks, got better but still felt gross the entire pregnancy), and felt better with my 2nd (a boy, still threw up, still sick til 16 weeks but better overall), this time - was totally different , i felt nauseous, but i didn't throw up which was totally new to me, i think i've only thrown up 2 or 3 times and i'm almost 25 weeks now! it also let up several weeks sooner than with the other two (i got that 'light switch' thing at 11!! weeks) ..

[lil_earthmomma]

[momtoS]

Well...I am still in shock. I have called the midwives. I still need to call my doctor. And I need to tell hubbie.

I did some shopping and bought two pairs of shorts and two shirts that will be okay to hide in for a while.

I need to get a dating ultrasound...which I have never had before.

And because I am over 35 I have to decide on an ISP test (never had any tests with dd1 and dd2).

[mama to 2 girls]

Aaaww I was in your shoes when I found out I was expecting #3.... in complete and utter shock! My OLDEST had just turned 3 and dd2 had just turned 14 mos. I was in total denial about the whole thing.....the first person I told was my cousin NOT dh, it took me a day to figure out how to tell him....but once I got thru the throwing up and feeling like crap (which was hard and I just had to take it 1 day at a time) which was around 22 weeks I started to come around to the idea and once I towards the end I couldn't wait for him to come!! I also decided I had better enjoy what I could of the pg because dh had the big V because he decided if all it took was one little slip up with NFP (that's all it took with dd2 who also was not planned) both times than we were both way to fertile to take anymore chances. So while it has not been an easy road, I can NOT imagine my life without him.

I know it seems grim right now but just try to be gentle to yourself and I am ITA with the pp who said you should tell your dh....she is right it isn't a small thing to have to deal with on your own.

[lil_earthmomma]

You can do this mama! You are such a strong amazing woman! I admire your strength and courage.