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Originally Posted by MarineWife  You do realize if you get pg this month or next you'll be due in the spring, right? 
Shannon ~ I think cd41 looks more likely, too. |
What Annie said!! Not that I've calculated it or anything
but a pg next cycle (I'm about to start AF right now) would be a mid March baby-- here in Winnipeg that's very much winter still!
And I get having the husband who takes it as an attack. Sometimes all you need is someone to validate your feelings... and I know when I would try to talk to DH, even when it wasn't my intention... he did end up taking it as me trying to just get my way and guilt trip him. I absolutely agree with what MW said though- that obviously there is guilt there in his mind somehow. My DH it was because he knew that his 'reasons' weren't really good enough reasons, but emotionally, he couldn't work past them yet. So it was easier just to say "no", and push the rest of the guilt on to me. Which of course... I did feel, because who really wants to have to "convince" their DH they want children, really?
The most connected I've ever felt with him, through all the years we've been together really, isn't some romantic or sweet ocassion, but the times when I've been devastated when another month has come and gone and I'm not pregnant, and he has been able to hold me close and tell me he's sorry that I'm hurting, and sometimes even admit that it hurts him a bit too. It's ok to not be pregnant, as long as you've got someone there who acknowledges how much it hurts, and that it's a real, strong, biological urge that tears you apart (and sometimes makes you a tad crazy).
When my SIL was in the hospital with our first niece to be born, she actually pulled my DH (then boyfriend) aside, and told him "You're not going to understand this yet, but just know that it's not your fault, there's nothing you can do, just be there..." etc etc etc. He was totally weirded out, but then we got home from the hospital and I turned into a hysterical blubbering mess. No reason, I was just completely overtaken with hormonal emotion and neeeeed to have a baby. And since she prepared him, he was able to support me, but more importantly, to see that apparently what was happening to me was "normal" because someone else knew it was going to happen, that meant it must happen to others.
Do do do do .... scrolling down the posts.
My LP is a bit shorter this month too.... ODD. Weather? Moon? I really have no idea. Pretty sure I'm starting like... today, and that makes me 11dpo, whereas 12-13 has been more normal the past few months.
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| And of course, I always hope that it doesn't drop. |
Meeee too!
And I think that's everyone!!
AFM... next month should theoretically be our last cycle TTA, but I think truly we've been whatevering this cycle too, and next will likely be the same. I think DH is finally ok with doing that for the next few months. I'm hoping we don't have to transition into TTC, but we'll see what happens. March sounds like a good month to me. hehe. I'm a July baby, and I always hated that because in the summer, all your friends are gone, I don't remember ever having a good birthday party. I'd ideally like to have a due date between March-June, though that's not saying I would prevent to avoid the summer months, just preference! I also have a hot tub outside we want to use for labor, so March/April/May would be nice months for that to happen. Silly isn't it, planning pregnancies around your labor environment?
So this loud, screaming voice in my head that is telling me to make a baby with my DH has to be ignored at all costs.
stops. Lately, I've been waiting until I get ewcf because I usually have that for at least a week before I O. I may change that once my dh comes home if I need to be more cautious.
DH and I had a talk the other night and I don't foresee that we will ever TTC. In fact, without Divine Intervention, I don't foresee that I will ever have a child. I just feel broken by this whole process.
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