Symptoms displayed at home or with parents but not really elsewhere?

[4Marmalade]

I have been lurking in this forum a bit lately and wondering if we are at the point where we need some help dealing with our 7-1/2 year old ds. We have a lot of behavioural issues that are becoming much more intense and physical. He has always been an intense, sensitive, anxious, explosive, spirited child. I have read all the books and we've tried implementing many different discipline techniques but it's still an ongoing struggle. When I read about SID and Autism spectrum disorders many of the symptoms fit. I am sure he has some sensory issues. But I can also see how some of them would fit for a typical child and then wonder if maybe I'm reading too much into what is happening in our home.

Anyway, my real question is "is it possible for a child to be diagnosed with a disorder like ASD or SID and exhibit most of the problem behaviours only at home or with parents?" Aside from teachers, instructors, friends seeing the occasional anxiety, emotional outburst I am sure that he is a model student. He does have a lot of anxiety about new things, change in routines, perfectionism, etc... that I'm sure his teacher is aware of but not sure she knows how much this is an issue at home.

I am just trying to figure out where to go from here. Family doctor, teacher, elimination diet, therapist..... Feels so overwhelming and lonely when everyone else sees a fairly typical child and I feel that there is something else going on. Or else we are just doing a really bad job parenting this child

[buttercup784ever]

You're not a bad momma. You're here aren't you??

Seriously, I would start with the teacher since she probably sees your son the most. Make an appt. to talk to her after school so she has plenty of time. When we noticed my son tic-ing, we asked his teacher whether he was doing it at school, and she said "now that you mention it..." We wouldn't have known if we hadn't asked! You might go and watch how he interacts with the kids at recess, or sit in the back of the classroom.

After that I would go to his regular pediatrician. Hopefully you have one you can trust, and she can do some basic lab tests on him. If all the easy stuff is ruled out she'll be able to point you in the right direction. Maybe have the teacher jot down some things she's noticed to give to the dr.

[CarrieMF]

I agree talk to the teacher. there may be more going on at school that you aren't aware of.

Yes kids can show more at home than at school for a few reasons.

1) home is a safe zone. SPD kids will often be okay in outside surroundings & hold in their sensory stress until they get home when they're a place they fully trust & feel safe in to release.

2) expectations of them at different places. You will have different rules at home than at school & the consequences of these rules are difffernet so kids may seem to behave better in 1 place because of it. The boy(8) I work with strips down to nothing as soon as he gets home because mom lets him. At school he has tried to once, but only that 1 time. He doesn't get the chance to take his clothes off & if he tried it would not be allowed so he does not try.

[Emmeline II]

We started with a therapist, but I don't think ds is getting anything from it. We did have the opportunity to sort out how our discipline style affected ds and what did and did not work.

I found a behavior clinic at a local hospital (developmental pediatrician); we had to go to our family doctor for a referral and it takes 9-12months to get an appointment. Our son acts out more at school than at home so when I went to our doctor I took a bullet list of his behavior which was largely based off of his school "offense reports."

In the meantime we will do a behavioral evaluation with an occupational therapist.

This may help you sort out his SPD behaviors (scroll down for checklist): http://www.sensory-processing-disord...checklist.html

I recently started giving him a (liquid) magnesium supplement after a mom on the Learning at School board posted about it. We haven't received any "he's running around/climbing the walls, throwing things, won't listen AT ALL" phone calls from school in over a week.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by 4Marmalade

Anyway, my real question is "is it possible for a child to be diagnosed with a disorder like ASD or SID and exhibit most of the problem behaviours only at home or with parents?"

yes, a good eval will consider how a child does in different situations.

Also (not trying to be negative) just because he is doing fine at age 7 at school, doesn't mean that he'll be able to handle Jr High or high school, where their are constant loud bells, slamming lockers, and transitions.

Family doctor, teacher, elimination diet, therapist..... Feels so overwhelming and lonely when everyone else sees a fairly typical child and I feel that there is something else going on.

You have a lot of options. You can try a change a diet and see if it makes any difference for him. For some people, it helps a little, for a few it is a cure all, and for some, it doesn't make a bit of difference.

The way these things are dx'ed is by a doctor who is a specialist. It's called a "neuro-psych evaluation." Talking to your family doctor can put you on the right path for the best person in your area.

An Occupational Therapy Assessment would be a good idea, too (because of the sensory stuff). How are his motor skills? If they are off, you can get the OT eval through the school, if not, figure out what hoops you need to jump through for your insurance to pay for it.

BTW, my favorite book on the subject is "Quirky Kids" by Klass. Very nice book for getting through the eval process, explaining different dx's, etc.

[TzippityDoulah]

my SPD 5 yr old and 1 yr old both show symptoms at home or in the car... then we get somwhere and everyone says "oh they are so adorable! how could they possibly have any problems?!" and I immediately feel like they much think I'm some overreactive crazy nut!

I wanna say "would you like to come spend a night at our home!?" but I feel like that kinda make it look like I'm trying to make my kids look bad or someting. but seriously... the constant tantrums and freaking out and whining, and fits over seat belts, clothing and hair.... oh my word! I feel likemy entire day revolves around putting our fires! and then someone says "looks normal to me!" ugh!

lol ok so I'm babbling... but yes yes yes it is totally possible to have a kid with SPD or on the spectrum that goes under the radar to people outside the family!

[ericswifey27]

Originally Posted by 4Marmalade

I am just trying to figure out where to go from here. Family doctor, teacher, elimination diet, therapist..... Feels so overwhelming and lonely when everyone else sees a fairly typical child and I feel that there is something else going on. Or else we are just doing a really bad job parenting this child

Trust your gut because it tends to lead us in the right direction. As for the bad parenting thing, it is hard, but don't take it to heart! We are being the very best parents we can be. To anyone who tells you that, offer to drop off your child for the night at their house and see if their opinion has changed by the morning. I predict they will be exhausted, they will have seen some of the challenges you face, and hopefully they will get to know your kiddo even better and really just enjoy him for being him. Because if he is like my kid he can drive me batty but he also makes me smile constantly too at his unique viewpoint.

J was diagnosed with autism through the school district in Oct or November of last year, and last month through a Regional Center psychologist-but this is now years later from my first suspicions and after considerable debate among many professionals.

Seriously I listened way too long to what others were saying, including his ped, some teachers, the preschool early childhood evaluators, strangers etc. "Oh he's just bright and you need to discipline him more bla bla bla. ". Family and friends tended to stay out of it and not say anything until I voiced more concerns then all of a sudden, oh yeah, I was thinking that too... (in their defense maybe I just wasn't really ready to hear it earlier) When he started reg. ed. kindergarten in September it was painfully obvious to everyone though, especially me.



I feel the main problem the diagnosis took so long is the professionals were testing him or seeing him one-on-one in a very controlled environment, and just seeing his actions as stubborn or discipline issues. In fact he was simply being, well, autistic. They were not observing him with his peers, across different settings or in the home with his sibling or cousins. The developmental tests we had done when he was preschool aged kind of brushed on just a little of each skill area, but did not look in depth at his motor skills, sensory issues, social skills etc. It was just scratching the surface, IMO.

Prior to the latest report concluding "mild autism", my son was actually evaluated in the office one-on-one at Regional Center and given a diagnosis of Asperger's at that time. They felt they needed more information and conducted a school based observation. That psychologist diagnosed him with autism. To tell you the truth I also work with kids on the spectrum and I am still confused at the distinctions between Asperger's/ HFA/mild autism, and what is the appropriate label for my son. Personally, whatever label that gets him the services he needs is the right one, and in my professional experience that is "Autism Spectrum Disorder". This is the term written on his IEP.

Oh and on a side note re: elimination diet, it's definitely something worth trying IMO, and not just for kids on the spectrum either, although I think there is a higher correlation there. I've seen them work atleast with some noticeable results for myself (gluten- no more migraines or abdominal pain), with my friend's neurotypical daughter who had eczema (gone!), my "maybe ADHD" nephew (calmer and better eye contact) My own son only showed scratch test allergies to mold, but he has already shown improvements in behavior (more calm, no scratching, no biting, more eye contact) after removing gluten and yeast from his diet. Next to trial will be casein. I want to put my NT son and hubby on the diet too but am meeting a little resistance there The only caveat is if you are going to try it, you've gotta go hard core- read the labels with suspicion and be a detective- gluten and other allergens can be found in other ingredients under different names- join some forums specifically for elimination diets for a better chance at making it work, IMO.

[quaz]

He has always been an intense, sensitive, anxious, explosive, spirited child.

When I read about SID and Autism spectrum disorders many of the symptoms fit. I am sure he has some sensory issues.


I don't know if it fits, but some of the above also rings bells of gifted characteristics.
That is something that could potentially cause you to see certain behaviors in one situation over another. In K, we saw no issues in school, but by the end of the day things spilled over in the home environment.

In my daughter's case, she is gifted. We see the above (actually with three of my kids), and the anxiety to varying degrees with my two girls. The girls also show perfectionism.

At the same I have looked into SPD and ASD for her as well...

Tammy

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by ericswifey27

To tell you the truth I also work with kids on the spectrum and I am still confused at the distinctions between Asperger's/ HFA/mild autism, and what is the appropriate label for my son. Personally, whatever label that gets him the services he needs is the right one, and in my professional experience that is "Autism Spectrum Disorder". This is the term written on his IEP.

I'm with you.

They are all "autism spectrum disorders" though, so a child with an Asperger's dx *should* get an IEP under the autism umbrella, but some states/school districts don't see it that way, so the magic phrase "autism spectrum disorder" with a doctor's signature under it is a good thing. The law pertaining to IEPs lists valid reasons for IEPs and autism is on the list, but none of the more specific labels (PDD-NOS, Aspie, etc) are listed.

My DD's doctor was nice enough to type it up on letter head for me.

The way I under stand the the differences:

Aspie's tend to have normal speech development, but HFA tend to have speech delays

Aspie's tend to have a higher desire to have social interaction, but even people with profound autism display a desire to interact with others from time to time.

HFA and mild autism seems to be used interchangeably, and seem to the casual way to refer to those who's official dx is PDD-NOS.

My DD has had different labels at different times. She is 13 and had a complete eval this year. Her dx changed to Aspergers, and I believe it is the label that she'll take into adulthood.