Bitter Sushi Ladies - June - Page 3

[Nanette56]

Originally Posted by enigo

Nanette "I don't take a baby home from the HOSPITAL, then I get 80% of the money back"

WOw! how can they do that? I want in! Sure wish I had insurance.
Oh thanks about the not looking 40 thing. Apparently my eggs have gone moldy though
I have also put on a beer belly since having the 3 mc's too. I don't even drink!

My eggs are broken too apparently!!! Actually my insurance doesn't cover any kind of infertility treatment. Most of it has been covered because they coded it under PCOS and not "infertility". My RE referred me to a separate program called attain IVF. http://attainivf.com/

It's actually a 70% refund, I thought it was 80. It's 24k for 6 cycles of IVF with the program (or 4k per cycle), but it's a credit plan. You start with a balance of 30%, which you pay in monthly installments like a credit card (or all at once if you're rich I guess) and then when you bring a baby home from the hospital, they'll add the remaining and you will start paying off the balance. But I don't know how FET fits in. I have to ask...

ETA- sorry 3 cycles of IVF and 3 cycles of FET

[jenger]

Originally Posted by rcr

Hi BSL: I am not around here much, so sorry to be bitter when I finally do post, but ARRRRRGH! I am so frustrated. I am now 1 year TTC, and I feel AF coming on today. I know, optimists say that AF cramps feel a lot like implementation cramps, but, I know when my body is going to AF, and now she is on her way. I feel like I am never going to be pregnant.

Girl, I hope I didn't erroneously erase you! I will make sure to get you on our list, soon, as long as dh doesn't get home soon - then it will have to wait for a few hours...

ETA Ah, I checked the may thread, and you weren't on it... therefore I did not erase you... thank goodness, I would hae felt terrible! But you are added now! Let me know if you want me to change the details...

And, , I am sorry you are frustrated!

Originally Posted by sweetest77

Jenger Thanks for fixing that. I could just picture people reading down the list, seeing May 10, and thinking "what does she have to be bitter about after only one month"

Try not to feel conflicted about your RE appt., you are doing the right thing! I'm struggling with if/when to move on to an RE myself, and I probably should have done it a while back. The good news is that 10 months of good timing and no PG could very well just be bad luck (I hope it is, and that good luck is right around the corner for you). But if it's not bad luck and there is something that can be fixed don't you want to know about it now??

I'm curious, did you get PG easily with your first? What really makes me feel like there is something wrong with me (aside from the LPD which is now under control) is that I got PG so easily with my first two! I wonder if I would be so anxious about hitting the one year mark if it hadn't been so easy before?

Thanks for the reassurance! I got pregnant with my daughter the month BEFORE we started trying! Arg! So I thought it would be easy... My LP has always been 11-12 days...

Originally Posted by enigo

I think it can be so frustrating when you have other children, it's like, what happened? I did it before...I can't believe I actually waited an extra 6 months until my friend was ready to TTC again, only to lose mine (my 3 actually ) while she has a beautiful one year old. I swear I thought I could just turn it on and off at will.

Jenger I tell you what. Both times I went to seek help, once to an OB and once to a RE, I got pregnant within days of the appt. Now they didn't even touch me, they actually just frustrated me more.

That's my secret hope... but now that you all know... it's not secret, and it won't work... I just o'ed a few days ago...

Originally Posted by Apricot

I am a bitter cookie sometimes. Why in the world is every one preggo? Not professionally speaking, of course all my clients are preggo, but everywhere else.
I "should" have a 6 month old baby now. I had to block my adorable lesbian friends off my facebook front page b/c they have a 6 month old and gush over it like proud mamas do. Hrummmph. Bitter I am.

Girl, I can't imagine being a midwife and dealing with (sub) fertility issues. You are an amazing and wonderful woman. Block whomever you please, girl!

Originally Posted by millefleur

jenger: Thanks for tidying up the first post! That is so great of you to do that!

I love this freakin' sheep. It makes me laugh every time I see it.

Sure thing MF! It's a risk, however... rcr, for example... did I erase her? crap!

Originally Posted by Nanette56

Ooooh, so excited for you girlie! I really think it feels better to go see an RE and have them do their tests and make sure everything is working properly. The HSG and the hormone tests are so helpful IMHO. I would never have known about this stupid PCOS had I not done the blood tests! And it feels like you're actually DOING something instead of just waiting for another cycle to pass without getting prego. Even after seeing the RE it took me another 6 months or so to realize that there was something wrong with me...but I think it will be a very healing thing, and I can't wait to hear what happens!

AFM- Well I finally got AF late this afternoon at 15dpo (THANK GOD). I'm happy because I thought my body was going to cause problems this month. All the symptoms were likely from the oodles of progesterone caused by the release of four eggs. I spoke with the nurse today, I'm starting B/C on Friday, going in for blood tests, and DH and I are attending the IVF seminar this coming Wed. Those are the requirements for the IVF consult with my doc. My IVF cycle will then be in July. Anyway, I'm doing shared risk, so if I don't take a baby home from the HOSPITAL, then I get 80% of the money back. I'm incredibly optimistic and psyched! I will be in here all month cheering ya'll on, even though I won't be TTC. Oh, and I'll need some encouragement this month too- I'm going to work on losing 15 pounds prior to the IVF cycle, can you believe all these medications have made me put on 15 friggin' pounds!?? So I'm bound and determined to lose it before I start this thing. Lots of love to you girls, I don't know what I'd do without you!!!

Thanks, mama! So, do you have PCOS with regular cycles? Or are they irregular? Just curious, 'cause I have self-ruled-out pcos, since I have regular cycles, etc...

Here's to a fresh new cycle! I'm excited for you this summer!

[jenniferadurham]

Originally Posted by enigo

jenniferadurham What brand test did you say that was? What a dirty trick!

I got it off of Amazon...they are the tiny little IC's that have "hcg" all over the blue handle. Stupid piece of garbage. LOL

[enigo]

I gotta say those IC's from earlypregnancytests.com are great when you have a negative. I have never had even a hint of a line when negative. The stark white where the second line should be actually burns your eyes. No evaps, no question you are NOT pregnant. (So stop embarassing yourself and get a life) Ohh they so need a digital that says that!

When positive...it's a frickin' nightmare. One of my lightbulbs is blown in the bathroom (for like 5 months..whatever I'm on MDC, I don't have that kind of time) They are soooo light, that you can't believe it until go outside under natural light, squint, while hopping on one foot, and clucking like a chicken. Then when you do take a picture, it looks even lighter in the picture if that's possible. Probably from the camera shaking from the chicken thing.

[kalamos23]

jennifer - when I had my chemical - I had positive tests one day and BFN the next. In fact, the ICs were so dang light with DD (and I had blaring positives on Equates and $tree) that I wouldn't have figured I was pregnant had I not been a squinter and a POASaholic if I was going just by the ICs. So in my opinion, I think you may have had a chemical pregnancy

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by Nanette56

http://attainivf.com/

Wow... Thanks for that info I have a few friends off of MDC who may appreciate knowing that. At least two have been told IVF is their only choice and cannot even imagine trying to afford it with the chance that it wont work at all. I mean... not that 30% of 24k is exactly affordable, but its better than throwing out the entire 24k with no results.

Hopefully they have a center near us... but if theres one even in Chicago, its near enough for them.

[Jane]

An alternative point of view on Shared Risk:
http://www.fertileweb.com/sharing-risk.html
I don't really have a point of view on it. Just wanted to throw it out there. I just want y'all to have the babies you want!

[babygrey]

Can i come join the illustrious bsls?

i sort of don't feel worthy, but i'm sitting here completely crushed on CD1 after my first clomid cycle that the REs said wouldn't work anyway and that i didn't know I'd put so much hope in until it was over (on CD17, with a 5 day LP none-the-less ). and DH just says "well, we'll just try again next month" and looks at me perplexed... and I realize I could so benefit from the company of others who maybe understand what it is like to stare down a long road hoping maybe you don't have to walk it; maybe this month will be the month it'll happen even tho you've been told it won't... kwim?

anyway. Hi. I'm 31. I've two lovely DC, a burning desire for #3, and a bunch of secondary IF. After DD's birth, I had a nasty chronic uterine infection that basically trashed my reproductive system bc I have underlying endo (the endometrial tissue got infected and spread throughout my abdomen- I ended up w/ appendicitis and peritonitis from infected endometrial tissue. party.. now I have endo, pelvic adhesive disease, chronic pelvic pain, one blocked tube and my hormones are a mess and that #3 that we so dearly wanted back to back with #2 is looking like it might be a longer shot than I care to put into words...

We're on month 13 of not TTA and cycle 7 of TTC. Brought in the RE last month. RE recommends IVF. Says bc of my endo and adhesions, even if I can get eggs made and released from my good tube, they'll never survive to implant (had a much more scientific, lengthy explanation- mostly involving how my ovarian fimbria don't pick up chemical signals... but IVF was the punchline) Financially and psychologically, I just have to run the gamut first and RE is supportive of that. was planning clomid cycle #2, except that bc my @#$! LP was so short, I'm not sure I can get in in time for a new script for this cycle. (I'm on a cancel list for Friday and am begging everyone and their mom to babysit my kidlets--the office is 2hrs away...:fx)

When I'm not lovin' on my current kidlets or trying to make a new one, I do birth work. Job is kind of in a flux right now. have been allopathic for a very long time and am kind of transitioning to a different paradigm.

Pleased to meet you all and I really can't express how much sympathy and good energy I want to send to those of you who've been at this way longer than me. This sucks.

If you don't wanna have me yet, I won't be hurt. I've written this post and then deleted it like 3 times today. I feel like I shouldn't be allowed to be so bummed about this, bc I have 2 lovely DC, and esp I have a barely-toddler, and I know that I am so blessed. I just.. I dunno. I'm just sad, mostly. In my heart, I feel like a mom of three. and my heart doesn't feel whole bc I'm not and it might be a long road or never. (Does that make me sound completely nuts? )

I swear, I'm not usually such a downer.

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by babygrey

I swear, I'm not usually such a downer.

Thats what BSL is for...

Man, what a story though. I'm definitely rooting for you just as much as all my other ladies here!

I cant imagine the pain... both physical and emotional... that going through all of that put you through. Very strong woman you are!

[babygrey]

Originally Posted by MaerynPearl

Thats what BSL is for...

Man, what a story though. I'm definitely rooting for you just as much as all my other ladies here!

I cant imagine the pain... both physical and emotional... that going through all of that put you through. Very strong woman you are!

Thank you.
While I wouldn't wish it on anyone, the physical pain has been transformative. I had to quit my 80 million hours a week 24/7 call hospital job, which, at the time, really burned, but, now was kind of like an opening. (I hope) Ya know, as long as we don't go bankrupt paying for fertility tx and sticks to pee on

I always mean to tell you, too, you and your BFP are sorta why I stuck around MDC's TTC. I happened to join right around the time you got your BFP and I just loved seeing the support and excitement for you. Plus, then you've given me personally about a million chart reviews and line squints when I've no idea WTH I'm doing

[millefleur]

Welcome babygrey! Come on in and join the "fun"!

[enigo]

Welcome

[rcr]

Originally Posted by Apricot

I am a bitter cookie sometimes. Why in the world is every one preggo? Not professionally speaking, of course all my clients are preggo, but everywhere else.
I "should" have a 6 month old baby now. I had to block my adorable lesbian friends off my facebook front page b/c they have a 6 month old and gush over it like proud mamas do. Hrummmph. Bitter I am.

Yea, um, Kelly Preston (John Travolta) is now pregnant, and she is 47! The first thing I thought when I read that was why can she get pregnant and not me! bitter...

[rcr]

Originally Posted by jenger

ETA Ah, I checked the may thread, and you weren't on it... therefore I did not erase you... thank goodness, I would hae felt terrible! But you are added now! Let me know if you want me to change the details...

And, , I am sorry you are frustrated!

No, I was not on it. Thanks for adding me.

Could you change my info to ttc #2 since May 09, but not avoiding since December 07, with a DH that has low sperm count, mobility, volume, and everything else; and lives out of state for work Monday-Friday (but is home every weekend). Me: 36, DH: 38. I am a WOHM and I take care of my mom with stage 5 (sometimes 6) Alzheimer's, which means that she is a lot like my toddler (12/07).

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by babygrey

I always mean to tell you, too, you and your BFP are sorta why I stuck around MDC's TTC. I happened to join right around the time you got your BFP and I just loved seeing the support and excitement for you. Plus, then you've given me personally about a million chart reviews and line squints when I've no idea WTH I'm doing

I think the BSL ladies are what keep me here the most... I really wish baby dust were real so I could push everyone over to the graduates thread.

I mean... our problem was MOSTLY that he just plain wasn't able to be around (due to his job and deployment) but to top that off it was our 7th cycle able to try when we finally conceived... So I do understand the frustration of not getting it the first time... or third... or sixth... and in a way, I even sort of know what the 2 year mark feels like, though I had so many cycles that went down the drain without even being able to try.

[kalamos23]

Yeah, I remember when Mae got her BFP - it was the same week I got my BFP for the last m/c. I can't believe you are so close to the third tri!

[jenger]

Originally Posted by babygrey

Can i come join the illustrious bsls?

Welcome, babygrey! I added you to our first post.

Originally Posted by MaerynPearl

Thats what BSL is for...

EXACTLY!

Originally Posted by rcr

No, I was not on it. Thanks for adding me.

Could you change my info to ttc #2 since May 09, but not avoiding since December 07, with a DH that has low sperm count, mobility, volume, and everything else; and lives out of state for work Monday-Friday (but is home every weekend). Me: 36, DH: 38. I am a WOHM and I take care of my mom with stage 5 (sometimes 6) Alzheimer's, which means that she is a lot like my toddler (12/07).

Sure thing!

Any one else wanna change their blurb? I considered editing down, but decided against it...

ME - still nervous/excited about the RE tomorrow. It's kinda nuts, 'cause my in-laws are going to be dropping us off at the appointment... a necessity in order to have our daughter looked after... But at least we are going to do some city things, and go here afterward.

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by kalamos23

Yeah, I remember when Mae got her BFP - it was the same week I got my BFP for the last m/c. I can't believe you are so close to the third tri!

s

Im trying not to think about that. Focusing on the wedding and move.

Pick up DF in 5 days! 5!!! O. M. G.

and then its only 10 more days that I get to call him DF! He will be DH after that!!!

[Nanette56]

Originally Posted by jenger

Thanks, mama! So, do you have PCOS with regular cycles? Or are they irregular? Just curious, 'cause I have self-ruled-out pcos, since I have regular cycles, etc...

Here's to a fresh new cycle! I'm excited for you this summer!

Yes, perfectly regular cycles, and I ovulate every single cycle on my own...My DHEAS levels are elevated which they *think* is what's causing problems.

Originally Posted by babygrey

Can i come join the illustrious bsls?

Welcome girlie! Of course you're welcome And btw, My BFF got her BFP on her second cycle of Clomid when she threw in an IUI...just throwin' that out there!!

Originally Posted by MaerynPearl

s

Im trying not to think about that. Focusing on the wedding and move.

Pick up DF in 5 days! 5!!! O. M. G.

and then its only 10 more days that I get to call him DF! He will be DH after that!!!

MAE- SO EXCITING!!!! can't wait to see pics of the big day!

[jenger]

Originally Posted by Nanette56

Yes, perfectly regular cycles, and I ovulate every single cycle on my own...My DHEAS levels are elevated which they *think* is what's causing problems.

Hmmm, do you have any of the other symptoms of pcos?

I suppose that DHEAS might be a test I will have to take...

While I don't have any of the other symptoms, if find it interesting that sometime pregnisone is given... I took pregnisone (for crazy poison oak!) right at what would be implantation time when I got pregnant with my daughter... (we were going to try the FOLLOWING month, so I didn't think about taking it... and only for a couple days...)