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Queer Conceptions - June! - Page 3

post #41 of 431
Thread Starter 
QOTD - Did you tell your friends & relatives about your TTC efforts ? If you did... do you regret it or are you happy about it ?

I'm out of the closet about everything (well, I'm not out of the closet to the residents where I work, lol, they ask about the kids' dad and I just say they're with my ex and I neglect to mention gender. And I wear a ring, so they generally assume I'm married). Everyone knows but my dad, but randomly I've never told him when I'm trying because he lives in Arkansas and makes refrences to my "lifestyle." It usually comes out in converstaion before I actually have the baby, but it may just be that my brother tells him. He's gotten better, but I know he's hoping DPs religion rubs off on me, he really can't stand my athiesm. I remind myself that it's his way of showing his love for me when he calls out of the blue to tell me he found out about another church that's ok with my lifestyle.

Got a little off topic there. I'm happy with people knowing. I like being able to talk about things I'm excited about. I showed the girls at work donor profiles and their baby pics when I was deciding. None of them picked the one we picked, they all picked blonds. But they are more sensitive when announcing pregnancies to me (now 3 girls in the first trimester). Every few weeks someone asks if I'm pregnant yet. I tell them* that the news says I only have a 1 in 10 chance because of my age and they laugh and tell me to drink the water cuz everyone is gettting pregnant these days.

Seraf - hoping to be pregnant by pride
post #42 of 431

I really like all those dancing veggies!


Seraf: Not sure what bank you are using, but mine does a donor of the month club where they concentrate on a certain type of donor that month. One month maybe they focus on PhD's, then the next donors who are involved in community service, then athletes...etc.

AFM: Im slightly optimistic that we wont miss my O after all for June. My cycle is a little long this time, which means I may actually be back in town in time to inseminate. Keep your extra appendages crossed for us please

Oh AND I promised yall the story of the lawsuit. The abridged version is as follows:

My DP is a Nurse Practitioner with her own practice, I do the "office manager" end of it. We had 2 practice locations, one that we owned, and one that we rented. The rented space was connected to a pharmacy which was amazing until the pharmacist lost his marbles. Unfortunately he is very ill (mentally), and after a series of events got extremely hostile, paranoid, and was engaging in extremely slanderous behavior. We are INCREDIBLY professional, and very proud of that, but he evidently had some very inappropriate things to say about both our business, method of care, and personal lives. Anyway, we eventually stopped using his services. We never said anything to our patients except "We are no longer using that pharmacy" (there are several others in the area). We were very careful about how we handled it, but he was being so aggressive towards us and our staff, we no longer felt it benefitted us, our clinic, or our staff to continue using his services. He sued US for "breach of contract" (which we never had a contract written or verbal) and "slander, which is ludicrous. Our lawyer is very confident in our case, especially considering his reputation in the community, but we will most likely pay upwards of $45,000 in legal fees before it's all said and done, which we most certainly do not have. It feels big, and amazingly stressful, and incredibly unfair, but Im just hoping we can remember that we are in this together and not let it tear us apart.


When we were pregnant the first time, we didn't tell anyone we were trying, but we did tell a few people when we were pregnant (my mom, her parents, our staff), and then we miscarried and I wished MORE THAN ANYTHING that we hadn't said anything yet. When we are in that position again (please lord let it be soon) I am going to be more insistent that we wait a little longer (I don't think we'll be able to wait until after the first trimester, but Im hoping to get close at least) Im not saying that this is the best method for every couple, but it is for us.

Okay off to work for now, HOOORAY for our BFP's and here's to more this month!!
post #43 of 431
gellybeangrl: Welcome! Hope you're not here long...

AmyPDX: Hooray for the swim team!

burg: Fingers are firmly crossed.

AHope: sorry for the missed timing, that sucks! But who knows...and hooray for good eggs!

fivegrandbaby: Wow...hopefully all that will get you a BFP!

coco: I know that's frustrating, I'm sorry.

Scarlett: Will you (hopefully) be able to recoup any of those legal fees?

wehrli: Thanks for sharing that diet! Looks awesome!


My family knows that I'm planning a baby. They've bought things, the whole nine. They don't, however, know that I'm already trying. They know my KD, and they're happy with the choice, but I know my mother (and my sisters) and I know that I would be getting daily phone calls asking "Are you pregnant?" I also know that at the end of the pregnancy, I'll be getting daily phone calls to see if the baby has arrived, so I'd rather skip out on the first set entirely.

The people I worked with all knew that I was trying, because none of them know any of the other people in my life and I wasn't worried about it getting out. I'm not out to them, but after DW left, it wasn't such a big deal and I didn't really feel like I was lying about anything. They knew it was a donor situation.

I have a select group of friends otherwise that know what's going on. KD and his wife told our mutual group of friends, which I was completely okay with. On my side, I've got about ten or so people that I have sending good thoughts/praying/crossing fingers/whatever they want to do at each insem. They know that I'll let them know the second I find out, so they don't ask otherwise, which has been lovely.

I'll definitely be sitting out this month. I should O Sunday, so I'd be heading toward KD this weekend, and I haven't arranged for an analysis and I still haven't gotten any job offers. I applied for two more positions today, so fx.
post #44 of 431
yikes scarlett!!! that is crazy! doesn't he have to have some proof before this can even go to court? i have to say this is one of the things i detest about america. imo, if he has no proof, it should have been tossed. plah. when (not if ) you win, can't you get him to pick up your costs?

post #45 of 431
Good morning all~

Glad we're all still here and healthy. Scarlett, your lawsuit sounds like a nightmare!! It also sounds really scary to be next door to a crazy pharmacist. That's the sort of thing horror movies are made of!! Also, does this mean you're back from softball camp, or just on your way?

AmandaH~ I'm still laughing about the 'sperm tank'. I'll bet the look on the guy's face was priceless! And you know he's still telling people that story.

Gelly~ Thanks for the fertility pill tip. I'll have to look into those. I'm also for sure going to try this pineapple thing. I can just see myself next try, loading up on EVERYTHING.

AFM~I'm just a few more days away now. I'll make the appointment the first day of my period and go for the HSG test on the last day, so I'm probably about a week and a half from the test, and then a week from insemming~ from THE ONE THAT WILL WORK, so maybe two and a half weeks from conception. That's just how I'm going to think about it for now! I had a long day the last couple of days and really wanted a margarita last night but I made myself be good. I look forward to being good for the baby, rather than being good for an abstract possibility.

QOTD~ Yes and n. I told my sister because she and I are close and talk about almost everything, but I'm not telling my parents until there's something to tell. It's hard enough being disappointed ourselves~ I couldn't deal with disappointing my mom~nor could I deal with her constant phone calls wondering how everything is going. It makes me think of another baby story~ many years ago I thought about ttc and just being a single mom. One of the reasons I never did is because I couldn't find any kds. I have lots of gay male friends and I approached some of them but they were unwilling/unable for various reasons. One friend gave me the greatest reason, though. He said "I'm an only child, and if my mom found out I'd produced a grandbaby, however tangentially, she would NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE." 'Nuff said.

Lovely summer day, sitting at my dining room window, about to do some writing and being glad I'm a teacher. Not everyone gets summer vacation their whole life long!

Love to you all xoxo
post #46 of 431
wehrli - I like the way you think - 6th time is the charm! And with the fertility meds, maybe it'll be 2 peanuts instead of 1. If you think about it, 6 tries that yield 2 babies -that's not half bad!

sarahcelie - I read the Brill book too about how important it is to do more than 1 try. I expressed that to our clinic and while our NP agreed that it might give you a better chance doing more than one IUI, 92 percent of her patients that were pregnant at the time got pregnant with one IUI per month. I think it's all about who you're insemming with - your doctor or nurse really has to pay close attention to you and you have to feel comfortable coming to them with whatever issues you're having. Of course, it depends on the age too, I think, and also whether or not you're using frozen or fresh... but the case for doing more than one just wasn't strong enough to warrant going through so much sperm so quickly. I say that without having a BFP yet... but that's how I look at it. And I have read the stat that most women will get pregnant within the first 3 IUIs. I'm about to do IUI #6, but I think I had some tube issues (cleared now) and I had a polyp (removed now) that could've prevented implantation.

coco99 - This is the first cycle I've allowed a lot of hope in. But I'm only on CD9, so we haven't insemmed yet. I find that the last week of the 2ww is the hardest for me... compounded by the fact that every month, my period is working its way to starting, so my hormones are going nuts. So I will unofficially wish you good luck.

We have told several people about trying to make a baby, mostly family members but some friends too. I don't regret it at all - I think it's important to have as much positive energy coming our way as possible. I haven't told most of my friends, because I don't want them to ask me about it all the time - I've only told the ones I can count on won't keep bringing it up. As for work - I started this current gig in November and was really hoping that I'd get pregnant right away because I knew if I didn't, I'd be missing a lot of work. Obviously I didn't get pregnant, and I kept having dr appointments. My boss is so great, and I figured I could probably tell her but I was nervous to... so finally, I had an appointment and she asked, "Is everything okay?" I said yes, and then I closed the door, and she said, "Are you trying to get pregnant?" with a big smile on her face. She was so happy for me, and said anything I needed to take care of, I could. So I'm REALLY glad I finally told her. Especially now that we're doing the injectables, which require more office visits. The closest person I haven't told is my dad, mainly because I want him to be totally surprised. My family's gone through a lot of crap in the last few years, so it'll be nice to finally have something amazing happen.

AFU, on injectable day 6. I mentioned yesterday I was feeling nauseous. It seemed to go away during the day, but was replaced by BLOATING. Bleh. I'm not 100 percent convinced it was from the meds - it didn't feel any worse than any random bloating I might experience here and there. And then when I was making dinner last night, I was pretty nauseous. Usually I love the smell of my homemade taco seasoning, but last night, not so much. The wife came home from a REALLY LONG DAY at work and I had to ask her to finish dinner. But once I ate dinner, I felt okay. Today: a little headachey, and the shot hurt a lot this morning (and yesterday morning), but the first four shots didn't hurt at all. Weird. I have an u/s tomorrow I'm hoping we'll be ready to trigger on Saturday or Sunday.

The wife's birthday is on Saturday - a BFP will make a great belated birthday gift.
post #47 of 431
Well... the nausea is definitely Gastro : she is sick as a dog poor love. I'm pretty sure we're out with all of that going ohn on top of everything else !!
post #48 of 431
Hey all, sorry I've been so out of touch lately...

Escher - I am so happy for you! You have kickstarted Team Amanda's BFPathon. AmandaHope, you are next!

QOTD - We have told only our very close family and friends about TTC. My sister is extremely supportive, as is my good friend Carole. DP's brothers know but never mention it, and we have yet to tell DP's parents. They will not take it well. They're uncomfortable with us being lesbians to start with, and MIL always introduces me as DP's "friend". I think she likes to tell herself we're just friends so she can sleep at night. Anyway, you'd think they know we plan to have a baby. There are so many signs: I did not start looking for work after moving here and leaving my job in Arizona a year ago; I'm very "housewifely" in that I do the cooking, cleaning, etc. (and I love it!); and then there's the big clue - we have a four bedroom house. One bedroom is used as DP's home office. One is a guest bedroom. The third is the master bedroom. The fourth is mostly empty except for a pile of stuffed animals, a few toys, and a rocking chair... the same rocking chair MIL used when nursing DP and her three brothers. They have never asked what we plan to use this room for, and they tend to ask A LOT of questions. Hence my belief they are in denial. They see what they want to see, and it will come as a very big shock when we break the news. To avoid the ensuing negativity, we decided we will wait until after the first trimester to tell them.

AFM, waiting to O and losing my mind. I'm on CD22 here. O is nowhere in sight. I thought I was getting close, but all my signs of impending O have gone. Seraf, I did notice last week you still had me in the TWW and thought I'd be back there soon enough, but you might as well move me to waiting to O. I may be here a while. I've been feeling very emotional the past few days, so today I took a minute and sat on the floor in the middle of the baby's room. I told myself it will happen when it's meant to happen, and I told myself to trust my body and to trust the process. It just gets hard sometimes.
post #49 of 431
AmandaHope- How frustrating that your fresh sperm did not make it to you. I would really like to use fresh but we don't know anyone we would ask. Let's hope this cycle works and you don't have to worry about shipping at all anymore!

Burg- What a rude lady! I hope you told her that you were a nurse and you would like to talk to her supervisor for being so rude.

Welcome! I am also 37, and will turn 38 at the end of this month. I started out with a KD who had low motility too. I have been trying several cycles with new frozen sperm but so far it's not working. Just found out my prolactin was high, so I'm taking medication to lower it. Hopefully you will be pregnant soon! I will do research on your pills, sounds like a good option to Clomid. I am waiting to take Clomid as a last resort (almost there.)

AFM- 4DPO, not feel too different except my boobs are getting bigger. Keeping my fingers crossed!
post #50 of 431
Thread Starter 
AmandaMom, I knew I had you in the wrong place, but didn't know where you belonged. Guess I get easily confused.

I"m going to be out of town this weekend, so, Coco, I hope to see an exciting announcement when I get back, but the front page won't be updated until Sunday.

Newbian, how you doing?

So, have I mentioned on here that my DP is crazy? The baby bug has bit her hard. She would like to get pregnant in the near future regardless of whether or not I do. My kind of girl.
post #51 of 431
Seraf Wow--two pregnancies coming up! Yee haw! (Gulp).

Amom s It really *is* hard sometimes...especially when waiting to O. I still maintain that, for me, the days/week leading up to O are far worse than the TWW. At least, in the TWW, you can't really screw anything up or miss anything important, right? Hang in there--it will happen. Still not sure when I'll O, either, but regardless of order, go Team Amanda! Thanks, Escher, for starting us off!

Max Hey--growing boobs are good! Do you usually have that happen at this point in your cycle?

Coco I'm sorry your DP is sick. That sucks. Hope she feels better very soon.

Burg I would have been spitting mad at that receptionist. Holy crap. What the hell does she know about you and your knowledge about what is happening in your own body?! When do you repeat the beta? Tomorrow? Fingers crossed for a STICKY bean!

5Grand I like the BFP as belated b-day present. Excellent.

Scarlett I can't believe that law suit! It is incredibly unfair that you should have to spend money to defend yourselves from something so petty and baseless. I'm so sorry, and I hope a judge throws out the case asap.

Chiquittay Good luck with the job interviews! I really hope that the job lines up and then that you get a good cycle and a BFP.

QOTD: We've told lots of people. We don't talk about it frequently with more than a handful, though, thankfully. People seem to know not to ask (except for the 8-yr-old boy down the street, who badgers me whenever he gets the chance; my DD told him we're trying; he means well, but I want to strangle him with my bare hands when he asks, "When are you going to be pregnant?" every few days). We waited to tell my parents until we'd been trying for a few months, but I eventually told them. They were great, though very surprised (since I'd insisted that we'd decided on only one a few years ago--as we had ). When I was trying and preggo w/my DD, my mom and I talked about it all the time, like every day. But this time, I'm not interested, and she seems to sense that. I hope we can bond a bit during the pregnancy, though.

AFM, I had a nice test line on the OPK this morning (still negative, but darker than I've had yet this cycle), but the one I did this evening was BLANK. I tried not to drink too much, but I probably diluted it. So my plan is not to drink anything until about 11am and test then, which is what I did today. I love that at the same time, you are supposed to do OPKs multiple times/day leading up to O AND drink tons of water to help with fertility, fertile mucous, etc. Impossible!
post #52 of 431
First of all, Congrats to all the BFPs!!! I'm hoping our BFP will be in June as well!

Sorry I've been AWOL lately, and I'm horrible at responding to everyone's personals...just know that I'm sending for the BFNs and frustrations out there, and for all the good news, and for all the funny stories (ie: sperm tanks!)

QOTD - Did you tell your friends & relatives about your TTC efforts ? If you did... do you regret it or are you happy about it ?

Selective people know. A few friends know we're trying, but are very good about not asking and every once in a while just say "oh, hey...how are...things?" A very few friends know pretty much everything (one because she is having fertility issues as well and we go to the same clinic, so I know everything about her PCOS and her husband's sperm, and she knows everything about my DOR and KD's sperm--we even compared analyses!). My family does not know at all, but DW's mom and cousin know. So far, it's working out OK. We have a few people to kvetch to about all of this, but no one is breathing down our necks.

AFU: We're on CD 13, and going slowly. It's looking like O will be closer to CD20. Hopefully we can do a fresh IUI, and depending on the counts and stuff, might do a second. Our KD has started his donations at the clinic, and just sent us an email last night saying "OK, I know I don't REALLY have ANY say in the naming, but could you maybe put the name XXX in the back of your mind for a middle name if you have a girl? It was my grandma's name, and here's some background on it:...." It was actually really cute, and still respecting boundaries. I think he'll be more of an uncle than he originally said he'd be, which is fine.
post #53 of 431
Originally Posted by kkearney1982 View Post

AFU: We're on CD 13, and going slowly. It's looking like O will be closer to CD20. Hopefully we can do a fresh IUI, and depending on the counts and stuff, might do a second.
Wait a second...will your clinic do fresh IUIs with a KD?! I haven't found any medical professional who will do this, because the FDA doesn't approve. I think FTMPapa (who graduated from this board in the late fall) also did this, but I never asked how.
post #54 of 431
Originally Posted by AmandaHope View Post
Escher, Korey, and Burg How is early pregnant life? How are you three? Who have you told, and how has it gone? Have you bought stuff yet? What? Still so happy for all three of you...
It's fantastic! I just got my third beta back:

10dpo - 20
14dpo - 262
22dpo - 8857!!!

From 10-22dpo, that's a doubling time of 33 hours!
I get my first ultrasound on Thursday!

So, I mentioned this about a month ago when we were doing the winning insemination (lol), but I thought it might be helpful to bring up again now that I'm pregnant.

DP and I both believe that these Tom Cat Catheters made all the difference: http://www.zdlinc.biz/productcart/pc...p?idproduct=40

The catheters are only FDA approved for animals (yes, you read that right), but who cares?! Using a speculum, syringe, and catheter allowed us to get the sperm right on my cervix. I think this is important because if you don't get the sperm close enough to the cervix, it can easily die in the acidic environment of the vagina. And once the sperm comes into contact with your cervical mucus, it gets super-charged and lives longer! So with strong swimmers (20MOT) and two inseminations of 18 hours apart, we were able to effectively cover a 36-hour span. And it worked!! So my advice to everyone doing home insemination, FWIW, is to get your hands on those catheters!

Oh, and incidentally, the Brill book was a big disappointment in the end. When we went by her advice, we got the timing all wrong. We had used it like a bible for 2 months, and in the end it was the good 'ol OPKs that proved reliable.

Please know that although I haven't been posting, I have been following along with everyone, and I'm anxiously awaiting all your BFPs! Baby dust to all!!!
post #55 of 431
Originally Posted by AmandaHope View Post
Wait a second...will your clinic do fresh IUIs with a KD?! I haven't found any medical professional who will do this, because the FDA doesn't approve. I think FTMPapa (who graduated from this board in the late fall) also did this, but I never asked how.
My regular GYN wouldn't do it, but our fertility clinic works it like this:

Donate for 6 days, exam/bloodwork, donate for another 6 days. So, a 12-13 day window for donations (all donations have to be made within 7 days of an exam/bloodwork).

According to FDA regulations, sperm should be frozen for 6 months before use, and the donor tested again (mostly because of the incubation period for HIV) before the sperm is released. However, with a known donor, there is the ability to waive that 6 month waiting period. The clinic just has to have the results of the most recent exam and bloodwork in their hands before they can use the sperm. Once we waive the 6 month waiting period, it doesn't matter if the sperm has hit the freezer or not, as long as it's within 7 days of the bloodwork.

Since KD was on vacation, he could only donate once before his exam (Monday), so we paid the grande fee of $900 ($700 for his exam and bloodwork, $200 for freezing for a year) and we wait for all the donations he can make! We were hoping for at least 5 out of the 10 days he'd be donating, but it's looking like only 4. But we're thinking my IUI might be next Saturday, in which case, we might ask him to still donate to freeze on Friday morning, and then do a fresh donation Saturday midday--only 30 hours or so from the last donation, but his counts are usually good, and if they're low, the clinic will do a repeat IUI as well.
post #56 of 431
Kate That is really valuable information. Thanks so much. I love this board. And good luck!!
post #57 of 431
great numbers korey!! mine were insanely high too and since i had 4 follicles we felt for sure i had twins - but no, just one very strong bean! we figure he implanted early hence the high numbers.

post #58 of 431
Originally Posted by korey View Post
It's fantastic! I just got my third beta back:

10dpo - 20
14dpo - 262
22dpo - 8857!!!

From 10-22dpo, that's a doubling time of 33 hours!
I get my first ultrasound on Thursday!
That is fantastic news, Korey! Yay! So happy for you both. And thanks for the catheter info. That catheter comes in my fresh-through-the-mail kit, so I've used it. It is easy and does seem to move the swimmers back where they need to go. But your link lead me to a much cheaper version of the through-the-mail shipper pack than I've used before and could save me like $50/month!
post #59 of 431
korey - so glad things are progressing positively!! I like the Brill book, but I am kind of surprised when I really step back and look at it from a big picture, how alarmist the book is. It makes me question so much, and you'd think that a book written by women for women would be a little less... crazed when it comes to certain things. TTC is already SO STRESSFUL, and I feel like books like the Brill book just contribute more stress, which isn't good for our eggs!

Curious - what warrants beta testing? I asked my RE today if they would be doing any testing during the 2ww, and he said we can if I want to but it's not necessary and doesn't always tell you what's going on.

Also - wanted to share that in my u/s this morning, he said everything is looking good, but he upped my Bravelle dosage and extended the injections by a few days. He also said he wants to shoot for 4-5 eggs (before it was 3-4), because he knows how ready we are to be pregnant. So more shots, and we go back Tuesday to see what's what with my eggs.

Go team!
post #60 of 431
2nd beta was 203!! Which is a doubaling time of 20.8! I am extremely relieved.

and to all! More later, have a great weekend all!
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