No Stressers/No Obsessers - June 2010! - Page 2

[Banana731]

You know what else, E- is this your first AF since your birth? You might not even ovulate this go round. Sometimes the first cycle is more of a warning.

[elonwy]

Hi everyone! I'm Elonwy (32) married to Mike (26) TTC #1 Cycle #1
I'm trying really really hard not to obsess, but I'm so excited!! We've been married for a year and I convinced him that its time to try last weekend, and its all I can think or talk about. We want to have fun with it though, and just have a good time trying.
So how do you ladies keep from obsessing?

[Sweet.Bee]

EhveesMom, my little one is 13 months and here are my thoughts...

After my son was born, my body was a bit worn out. It was a relatively easy pregnancy (besides morning sickness, then vomiting up to ~24 weeks) and super fast birth, but pregnancy really sucks a lot out of you. For some, it is more draining than for others. I would sometimes in the first few months postpartum get a bit dizzy or just feel drained (not tired, just drained of energy, if that makes sense).

Also, I gained quite a lot of weight during pregnancy, and I will admit that I wanted to regain my body. So, I understand what you're saying.

As soon as I felt more comfortable with my body and MORE IMPORTANTLY like I could get through another pregnancy without feeling drained, I started to entertain the idea of TTC #2.

I really want the children to be close in age, too, so that made me decide I was ready. I have a friend whose children are 15 months apart. While I have no question that she can do it, I don't think I could. My son is pretty easy, but he does require a lot of mommy time. Somewhere around 2 years seemed more doable for me. But everyone is different.

So if I were you, I would ask myself:
What age gap do you think you personally could do?
Is your body ready to go through pregnancy again?

[Banana731]

How do you NOT obsess? That is an excellent question. Does anyone have the answer?!

I try not to obsess because I am afraid that if I get too worked up about it and it ends up taking a long time, that I would get really depressed about it. I 've been reminding myself that during my TWW. I'm not entirely sure it's working-I'm on the TTC board right? But I haven't taken the HPTs in the house and most of my conversations with dh aren't about conception, so maybe it does help. "Calm down, Banana, calm down..." it's like a mantra.

I think another thing that makes it easier (could be wrong) is that I am way private about this stuff IRL. No one knows that we're TTC #3 and won't until I'm quite pregnant.

Do you all tell your families and friends about this journey or keep it private?

[echospiritwarrior]

Elonwy hope your stay here is short!

Originally Posted by Sweet.Bee

So if I were you, I would ask myself:
What age gap do you think you personally could do?
Is your body ready to go through pregnancy again?

great questions!

Originally Posted by Banana731

How do you NOT obsess? That is an excellent question. Does anyone have the answer?!

I think another thing that makes it easier (could be wrong) is that I am way private about this stuff IRL. No one knows that we're TTC #3 and won't until I'm quite pregnant.

Do you all tell your families and friends about this journey or keep it private?

I wish I had the answer to not obsessing but then I probably wouldn't be here

I've told one friend IRL and then I said something to my mother one night which was STOOOPID, so of course now EVERYONE knows I'll stop there my mother is mentally ill and I should have known better.

I've mentioned several months ago to another friend but I don't go broadcasting that we're actually trying when I had hoped to be. I'm actually keeping it purposely quiet from another friend because she and her DH are trying for #2 and last time it took them several months and I don't want to be taking away from her glow and excitement.

[MoOnFiReGlOw]

Originally Posted by echospiritwarrior

I feel like chart stalking, anyone want to share theirs?

Here's mine: http://www.tcoyf.com/members/Amitiel...s/default.aspx

Originally Posted by Banana731

How do you like the TCOYF online charting?

I LOVE tcoyf charts. I used FF for a year and I obsessed WAY too much! There were just too many options and tracking all my little aches and twinges just lead to more stress. I ended up checking my chart thirty million times a day and chatting non-stop about ttc!

Tcoyf is way more chill and free plus it has all the options that the paid for version of FF has. Granted they are still working out some of the kinks, but it is a wonderful program. I like the things echo said about it as well as the coverline it gives you BEFORE O so you know what your average temp is and what it needs to go over in order to signal O.

[Sweet.Bee]

Originally Posted by elonwy

So how do you ladies keep from obsessing?

Tough question.

I think it helps to have a partner, a friend, etc. who is relaxed. My husband is very calm and hardly ever is stressed about anything. If I were to assign a smilie to him, it would be a guy holding a mojito while chilling out in a hammock under a palm tree. Too bad we don't have that one.

I, on the other hand, am pretty high-strung. If I were in the hammock, it would be rocking wildly because I can not sit still and just relax.

But I want to be less stressed and obsessed, which is why I post here. I want to draw on the calm energy of those around me.

Also, distractions are good at taming obsession. Running around after my 13-month-old limits my obsessive opportunities. It's also nice to just chill out at night before bed, whether with a DVD, a video game, or just snuggling.

[elonwy]

Heh. My partner and I regularly switch high-strung/calm roles. Usually when the other one is spazzing out, we'll get calm and try to help the situation. Doesn't always work though. He is excited and terrified too. He also finds the list of things I can't eat or drink completely unfair, which I think is terribly sweet of him. He wants to help as much as he can because "I have to do all the work".

I checked out the TCOYF charts cause my paid membership to FF is about to run out and I find it kind of annoying and not always super intuitive and I really like TCOYF better, though currently they are predicting my next O differently (probably cause TOCYF has less data) I think I am going to keep doing both for a little bit, as TCOYF is in beta, which always makes me a bit nervous, but thanks for the suggestion.

What do people think of the What to Expect When You're Expecting book? I know it's one of the most popular pregnancy books ever, but is it worth it?
I need something to read that is helpful but not full of "OMG so many things can go wrong!!!!"

Thanks for the no-stress thoughts
Elonwy

[samy23]

Can I join here too? I'm in the TWW 6 dpo today and I just tested At least I waited until the evening time though...it's sort of almost 7 dpo... It was a BFN surprise surprise...but I really couldn't wait to test any longer.

I think I'm going to run out of tests

[nintendork]

Originally Posted by samy23

Can I join here too? I'm in the TWW 6 dpo today and I just tested At least I waited until the evening time though...it's sort of almost 7 dpo... It was a BFN surprise surprise...but I really couldn't wait to test any longer.

I think I'm going to run out of tests

Buying tests is stressful! these helped me to de-stress a little
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...ef=oss_product

[echospiritwarrior]

elonwy your DH sounds just wonderful!!!

I personally don't like the what to expect books. Natural Family Living is a Mothering publication and has not just pregnancy but all kinds of wonderful things in it. I think I got my copy at 1/2 price books and I was just re-reading it the other night. I also anything Ina May, and one of my all time favorites is Birthing From Within. I also really dig the Compleat Mother magazine... it's been so long since I've been pregnant I can't think that many others right now.

welcome samy23 good luck, I'm jealous that you may find out in just a few days! Had I been a 'normal' for me cycle I would be at about 6 DPO too, but I can't even confirm O quite yet weird month. How many tests do you have?

Originally Posted by nintendork

Buying tests is stressful! these helped me to de-stress a little
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...ef=oss_product

that's a better price than the OPKs and HcGs I get through a coop and I don't have to wait for a third party, I sure hope I don't have to buy anymore though. I have probably around 20 in the house.

[Sweet.Bee]

Originally Posted by echospiritwarrior

Had I been a 'normal' for me cycle I would be at about 6 DPO too, but I can't even confirm O quite yet weird month.

I know what you mean. O has been late for me, too, this month. FF thinks I've finally ovulated and am 3DPO, but I'm not so sure (but I certainly hope so!). We'll see. My coverline looks rather pathetic...

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2e2172/

The 2 weeks of fertile CM has worn me out a bit too.

[samy23]

thanks, I had a 5 pack of tests and have just used my second one at 7 DPO...again BFN. I'm really worried Im not pregnant because I have pre-AF symptoms like sore tender boobs, change in bm's. I feel so disheartened.

This is my fourth cycle trying. How long have you all been trying?

[Banana731]

I had to wrestle myself to the ground this morning to not POAS at 9 DPO. I Guess it helps when you keep them all the way across the house and you have to pee really bad.

I'm a big NO on the WTE books, any of them. Go for the Dr Sears Pregnancy book, and the Birth and Baby books are great too. Very non-threatning and accessible to everyone, but very naturally minded. If you're only looking at the WTE books then Ina May and some others might be a little too crunchy for you to dive into. I recommend the Birth book to many of my clients. I also think Sheila Kitzenger pregnancy book is fantastic!

[mrsberman]

Add me too please

mrsberman (26) ttc#2, DD 12 months

Hi, new here. DH and have been waiting to ttc #2 so I can avoid another c/s. After this month pregnancy maybe, we decided 19 months between births is long enough. June and September are the only months we can try because due dates will fall during travel plans we have scheduled next year. My sister is getting married and DH is in the USCG. We don't want to switch dr's during relocation time.

[EhveesMom]

Ladies, thank you so much for your supportive responses!

I'm still a little confused and it's so hard not to "try" right now when I'm supposed to be O! But I'm trying to focus on eating right and exercise. If anything I might wait until August or Sept to try in "earnest" but if God decides before then to bless us...then I guess that's what is in the cards for me.

I guess this thread is great, "no stressing obsessing." hehe!

I hope you guys don't mind if I continue to hang around and stalk this thread a bit! (Even if I'm not actively trying this month!)

[nintendork]

Originally Posted by Banana731

I had to wrestle myself to the ground this morning to not POAS at 9 DPO. I Guess it helps when you keep them all the way across the house and you have to pee really bad.
!

I literally laughed out loud picturing you wrestling yourself to the ground. It reminds me of the scene in Me, Myself & Irene when Jim Carrey fights with himself. Good times!

[MoOnFiReGlOw]

Originally Posted by samy23

thanks, I had a 5 pack of tests and have just used my second one at 7 DPO...again BFN. I'm really worried Im not pregnant because I have pre-AF symptoms like sore tender boobs, change in bm's. I feel so disheartened.

This is my fourth cycle trying. How long have you all been trying?

We've been trying for 13 cycles which is about 14/15 months I know its easy to get disheartened though. All three of our boys were first month pregnancies, so having to wait, especially longer than 6 months has really made us appreciate how easy it was for us before!

[Banana731]

Okay, I am so totally stressed out about the housing inspection we just had on a home we're trying to buy that I need to think about something else!

Does anyone have any have any good exciting stuff to talk about? Anyone getting ready to test tomorrow? Or getting ready to O?

[elonwy]

Thank you for the book suggestions ladies! I am leaning towards crunchy, so I will check out those other books. I asked cause I'm always a bit leery of mainstream stuff, and I assumed (rightly!) that you would have better suggestions.
Off to Amazon!!

And yes, echospiritwarrior my DH is completely awesome. He also has been making comments about not stopping at 1, which is really funny, because he was sooo adamant that he only wanted one kid. I told him to wait until we have the first one, then he can tell me how he feels.